As she boiled the water for hot chocolate, Leia Solo thought
fondly back to how her husband Han had appeared when she had met him. He would
have been the first to tell you that he was loyal to nothing and nobody but
himself; bu it hadn’t taken her very long to see that was completely untrue.
And it only took her slightly longer to discover that in fact, the exact opposite
was true. He was perhaps one of the most loyal men she had ever met. It just
happened that he was picky about who he was loyal to.
All you really needed to do was see how he felt about his ship
to come to this conclusion. It was old, rickety, beat up, and it didn’t even
always work right. But if for even one second you tried to suggest that maybe
he would be better off starting with a new one he would be personally insulted.
That ship was his baby. Well, his first baby, she supposed. It wasn’t just a
ship to him; it had a history, and was full of not just memories but his actual
blood, sweat and tears. Things like that could not be thrown away and replaced,
even if they were shinier and newer and actually worked every time you needed
them to. This knowledge had been comforting for her to think about when she
imagined how he might feel about her as she got older and more worn out.
His loyalty was certainly not limited to just his ship. It
was quite obvious from early on how loyal he was to Chewbacca. Sure, he would
often act annoyed that the Wookiee had insisted that he tag along and wouldn’t
leave him alone and was so damn annoying by hovering over him all the time. But
his act hardly fooled anyone. Han was almost as protective of Chewie as Chewie was
of Han. The two were as close as brothers.
If all of that hadn’t been enough to blow his cover, then
certainly how he had almost immediately come back to help Luke and the Rebels had
taken care of it. She sometimes had to fight herself from rubbing it in his
face, and instead opted simply for gratitude. She had then denied for years
that any of his loyalty had been directed at her, but certainly it hadn’t taken
very long to be forced to accept it as well. And now, nearly twenty years after
that incident, she was eternally grateful for it.
Aside from just loyalty, it was also very apparent just how attached he became to those closest to
him. She first noticed it with Chewie, but then it became obvious that he was
also fairly attached to Luke. Reluctantly she was finally forced to come to
terms with how attached he had become to her. Now this was something she
cherished about him as she had become completely attached to him as well, but
for a time it had been downright terrifying to realize.
And now, he was quite attached to their children. She hadn’t
expected him not to be, but seeing how Han behaved around them, and the way his
face lit up when he saw them and when they saw him, and how much he loved them
and loved spending time with them had only further cemented how glad she was that
she had taken that chance with him. The kids had brought them so much happiness
over the years, and she and Han could not imagine life without them.
Perhaps this was why over the last few days Han had been
spending so much time moping. Han Solo wasn’t generally one to mope, of all things. But the new year
was approaching, which had traditionally been more of a family affair. The kids
were all teenagers now, and Leia had taken her time coming clean and telling
Han that they would not be home in time to celebrate with their parents. He
acted as though it was no big deal, but she could tell how disappointed he was.
He seemed to be taking their growing up harder than she was. Perhaps because it
had taken him so long to find a family in the first place, he was less willing
to let things change and move forward. In some of his darker moments, on the
rare occasions he still had nightmares, she was aware that one of his biggest
fears was having those kids taken away from him. He was still adjusting to the
idea that he would not always be there to see to their safety.
And sure, they enjoyed the time alone at first. There were
some perks to having the house to themselves. But as much as Han and Leia
enjoyed each other’s company, and the luxuries that time alone had afforded
them, there were still a lot more hours in the day to fill, and the quiet of a
near-empty apartment had worn on both of them. Especially at this time of year.
It could’ve been easy for Leia to take this personally, to
think that she wouldn’t be enough for him once the kids had moved out. But she
wasn’t worried about that. Not really. If there was anything in this galaxy she
could rely on completely it was Han’s love and devotion to her. She knew they
would figure it out. And she also looked forward to some years down the line
when their children would bless them with grandchildren. Not to mention she was
pretty sure that wherever their kids ended up, they would still make time to
visit. The attachment certainly didn’t only work in one direction.
None of this would be comforting to Han right now though. He
was much more concerned with the present, and presently all he could think
about was that his kids were slipping away from them and there was nothing he
could do to stop it. Leia felt a little pang of guilt as she felt his
disappointment. Soon, she thought. He would feel a lot better soon.
The sun had just gone down Han had been busying himself by polishing
his boots, seated on the couch in the living room of their apartment. He seemed
to always gravitate to the most tedious of tasks when he needed to distract
himself. Leia approached him with a warm mug of hot chocolate, hoping to cheer
him up just a little bit.
“I think you shined them up enough,” Leia said, glancing
down at the now-immaculate boots in his hands. He’d been at it for at least
three times as long as he needed to be.
He hadn’t even noticed her coming as she approached from
behind him and slid to sit next to him on the couch and placed the mug in front
of him, holding onto her own. “I thought you might like this.”
He gave her a half-hearted smile. “Thanks.”
Leia rested her head against his shoulder and waited a
moment to see if he might say anything else, then told him, “I miss them, too.”
“I know,” he said as he leaned his head against hers. “You
aren’t gonna leave me too, right?”
She shook her head and then leaned away to look into his
eyes. “Never.” After sharing a brief kiss she leaned back to take another sip
of her hot chocolate. “You know, we should probably make dinner soon.”
He heaved a sigh. “Yeah, I s’pose. You bought an awful lot
of food considering it’s just the two of us this year.”
“You think so? You never know who might drop by.”
“I thought the Skywalker clan was doing their own thing?”
“They are, but-“
Finally she was cut off by the sound of the door opening,
and three very familiar voices filled the air. Han was startled at first and
Leia could see his face turn from confusion to pure joy as he watched Jacen,
Jaina and Anakin come through the doorway.
“He looks surprised,” Jacen said. “Did you actually manage
to keep it a secret?” Jacen said to his mother.
Leia gave a small smile and Han looked at her in disbelief. “You
knew about this?”
“Of course I knew. They couldn’t surprise me even if they
wanted to,” she said, reminding him that with her Force abilities she would
always know if they were nearby. There were times when he found this fact more than
a little unfair, but right now, he seemed to happy to care.
Han stood and walked towards his children. “Well, don’t just
stand there, come give your old dad a hug.”
The three young Solos all smiled and went to hug their father.
They’d only been gone a couple of weeks, but Han still wasn’t used to these
more lengthy absences. He vastly preferred having his entire family under one
roof. Leia had to admit that she did too, but it was just a fact of life that
children grew up and moved onto their own lives.
Each of the kids went to hug Leia as well and Han still
looked stunned in disbelief. “Now you know why I got all that food,” she said
to her husband.
“Did you say food? ‘Cause I’m starving,” Anakin said.
“We didn’t make dinner yet, but there are plenty of snacks,”
Leia said as her youngest son smiled and headed straight for the kitchen.
“I’m going to drop my stuff in my room and change clothes,”
Jaina said as she headed back down the hallway.
“Me, too,” Jacen added as he followed behind her.
Han was still standing in front of the couch, a satisfied
grin on his face. Leia slipped her arms around his mid section and gave him a
squeeze. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. They wanted to surprise you.”
His arms enveloped her and he held her close. “And you just
let me spend all day being miserable?”
“You mad?” she asked, already knowing the answer.
“No,” he replied, kissing the top of her head. “But don’t do
that to me again.”
“I won’t,” she said, giving him one more squeeze and then
leaning away to look up at him. “Should we get started on dinner?”
“We better, or Anakin might eat everything before we get to
it.”
Leia smiled and took his hand before leading him back to the
kitchen. He certainly appeared a lot more enthusiastic about the evening than
he had a few minutes ago.
Leia had to admit, so was she. They both knew that these
days would not last forever, but they would certainly enjoy them while they
could.
