Monday, February 11, 2013

Valentine's Challenge - The Sequel. Submission #6

The following submission comes from Elivagar.  Loving the amount of submissions, people.  Keep them coming.  Even once Valentine's is over, there is no such thing as too late for these!


He watched her form fall dark against the glow of white sheets beneath them, every dip and curve of her body shaded. With a single arm draped awkwardly atop her stomach, she tilted her head toward him expectantly. He wondered, briefly, when they had crossed the line.

A visible tremble from her set him in motion towards her, his frame casting one solid shadow upon her as he blocked out the faint light of the illuminated city.

Reaching her, he hovered only briefly before covering her entirely. His head fell to the dark spill of hair, free to indulge in the scent he had known for years, finally pressing his lips to her neck. Feeling her lungs fill with a gasp urged him to press against her harder. Her hands were now smoothing across his back, timid at first, yet steadily growing firmer. His let his mouth meander until he found her own.

It all had accelerated too fast, too soon.

It shouldn't have been happening like this, with fear and death nipping at their heels.

And he had intended to resist, hoped that she would stop it--this thing he spent so many nights longing for. Yet, he knew that whatever happened, he would never have the strength to bear it, whether he stopped now or faced her in the light of day. He would give in. He would stay.

And suddenly he was inside her, and all he could comprehend were her inarticulate moans, all lost on the ears of the universe.
 
Short but sweet.  Thanks again, Elivagar!

8 comments:

  1. That was great. I guess Han is damned if he does, damned if he doesn't. Nice last line. Like the part about the scent he had known for years. Nice.

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  2. Very very effective piece. Love your use of language. I started off thinking, what's happening here? But it soon became very apparent oh THAT is what's happening, and you make is sound so mysterious, yet beautiful.

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  3. It's amazing that you can put so much into just a few short paragraphs. I loved every line of this and the feelings and images that they conjured of this wonderful first between the two of them. Just, wow.

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  4. You do such a great job with so few words. Subtle, but at the same time we know exactly how this whole scene transpired. I love the idea that he meant to resist and she was supposed to stop things, but obviously neither happened :) Sometimes things are just meant to be.

    Nice job!

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  5. Agree with the above comments. You say so much in such a brief time, but totally get us there (and them). I love the part about him finally indulging in the scent of her hair but my favorite part is the realization near the end that he would find it hard to live with either outcome should she decide to stop him or not.

    Awesome and thanks for sharing.

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  6. Thank you, everyone, it's much appreciated!

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  7. This is great!
    Love this:

    It all had accelerated too fast, too soon.

    It shouldn't have been happening like this, with fear and death nipping at their heels.

    Well done :)

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