This post originally appeared HERE on August 4, 2011.
Often times there are certain story elements that we find very
intimidating to tackle as writers. Some things flow easily and don't
scare us at all, but others we feel a huge sense of responsibility to
get perfect because they mark a significant moment or turning point in
our characters.
Of course the easiest way to avoid this sort of anxiety is to give in to the intimidation and simply not write it. I think we can often spend so much time worrying about writing something that it makes it ten times worse than it could possibly be.
The most glaring example of this is the infamous first time. Whether you think it takes place on the way to Bespin, after he gets out of carbonite, after the battle of Endor, after their wedding or maybe even sometime before ESB, this is obviously a huge moment in their relationship, probably the most important moment. I had thought about writing it for years and was too intimidated to even try. And I'm not talking about being too intimidated to publish, I mean too intimidated to even sit down and write it for only myself with no intention of actually showing it to anyone else. I realize this sounds a bit crazy, but I have a feeling I'm not alone here.
Now that I finally decided to write it - which just occurred to me for no particular reason, I just finally felt inspired and like maybe I could write it and get it out there - I wonder why I made such a big deal out of it. Now that it's out there, I don't even think about it anymore. Not a whole lot of other people saw it as a big deal and I don't see why I made it out to be. (2018 note: Yeah, it's been several years now since I wrote that, and I for sure don't think about it anymore or think of it as a big deal)
I feel that a lot of times as writers we can really overthink things to the point of stifling our own creativity. Han wouldn't waste time worrying about the consequences of his actions or what people might think, he'd just do it. And you know what? He doesn't really seem like he regrets much. Except maybe dumping Jabba's spice haul....
So stop overthinking things. Don't not write something because the subject matter intimidates you, just go ahead and do it. And sure, maybe after you write it you'll decide you're not happy with it and don't want to show it to anyone else and that's okay too. I think we tend to give our readers too much influence on how we feel about our own writing. And it's also funny how we can get twenty positive reviews but we will fixate on the one negative comment. It probably isn't even a mean-spirited comment, but we tend to put far more stock in the criticisms we receive than the praises. (2018 note: This is still true, and I still don't know what the right remedy for it is aside from somehow making it impossible for anyone to leave negative feedback.)
Here's the thing: nobody puts as much thought into your writing as you do. They are only going to see the writing itself and aren't going to be able to see how worried you were about getting it just right or how much anxiety you had when you finally hit the publish button and waited for a few reviews. I started writing fanfic almost ten years ago (only recently started publishing) (2018 note: Yikes, it's been WAY longer than that now!) and it took me until a month ago to finally write and publish this big moment that I had been too scared to write. The truth of it is, nobody really cares that much. They don't see it as such a huge thing. They just see it as another story to read. You agonize over writing something and then you get a couple of comments and that's the end of it and you wonder why you were so worried about it for so long. It's only been a month and I almost forgot I even published it.
So stop worrying so much about what other people are thinking and just write what you want to write. Don't be intimidated by stuff that you think is such a huge deal because most other people aren't going to see it that way. Leia always spends a lot of time thinking about the consequences of her actions. Be like Han instead, just write and put it out there. It's just writing. There aren't really any consequences anyway.
Of course the easiest way to avoid this sort of anxiety is to give in to the intimidation and simply not write it. I think we can often spend so much time worrying about writing something that it makes it ten times worse than it could possibly be.
The most glaring example of this is the infamous first time. Whether you think it takes place on the way to Bespin, after he gets out of carbonite, after the battle of Endor, after their wedding or maybe even sometime before ESB, this is obviously a huge moment in their relationship, probably the most important moment. I had thought about writing it for years and was too intimidated to even try. And I'm not talking about being too intimidated to publish, I mean too intimidated to even sit down and write it for only myself with no intention of actually showing it to anyone else. I realize this sounds a bit crazy, but I have a feeling I'm not alone here.
Now that I finally decided to write it - which just occurred to me for no particular reason, I just finally felt inspired and like maybe I could write it and get it out there - I wonder why I made such a big deal out of it. Now that it's out there, I don't even think about it anymore. Not a whole lot of other people saw it as a big deal and I don't see why I made it out to be. (2018 note: Yeah, it's been several years now since I wrote that, and I for sure don't think about it anymore or think of it as a big deal)
I feel that a lot of times as writers we can really overthink things to the point of stifling our own creativity. Han wouldn't waste time worrying about the consequences of his actions or what people might think, he'd just do it. And you know what? He doesn't really seem like he regrets much. Except maybe dumping Jabba's spice haul....
So stop overthinking things. Don't not write something because the subject matter intimidates you, just go ahead and do it. And sure, maybe after you write it you'll decide you're not happy with it and don't want to show it to anyone else and that's okay too. I think we tend to give our readers too much influence on how we feel about our own writing. And it's also funny how we can get twenty positive reviews but we will fixate on the one negative comment. It probably isn't even a mean-spirited comment, but we tend to put far more stock in the criticisms we receive than the praises. (2018 note: This is still true, and I still don't know what the right remedy for it is aside from somehow making it impossible for anyone to leave negative feedback.)
Here's the thing: nobody puts as much thought into your writing as you do. They are only going to see the writing itself and aren't going to be able to see how worried you were about getting it just right or how much anxiety you had when you finally hit the publish button and waited for a few reviews. I started writing fanfic almost ten years ago (only recently started publishing) (2018 note: Yikes, it's been WAY longer than that now!) and it took me until a month ago to finally write and publish this big moment that I had been too scared to write. The truth of it is, nobody really cares that much. They don't see it as such a huge thing. They just see it as another story to read. You agonize over writing something and then you get a couple of comments and that's the end of it and you wonder why you were so worried about it for so long. It's only been a month and I almost forgot I even published it.
So stop worrying so much about what other people are thinking and just write what you want to write. Don't be intimidated by stuff that you think is such a huge deal because most other people aren't going to see it that way. Leia always spends a lot of time thinking about the consequences of her actions. Be like Han instead, just write and put it out there. It's just writing. There aren't really any consequences anyway.
2018 note: I decided to bring another old one up from the archives, and I think this subject will never stop being important, as most of us will never stop overthinking what we're doing and becoming paralyzed by our own worries about what we're writing. It's good to be reminded that we all feel like that, maybe MOST of the time, and you're not alone. Even the people who write things that you think are so amazing and flawless that surely you could never live up to what they write, and they couldn't possibly ever have these same feelings. Except they probably totally do, and they still write and publish anyway. Also maybe because I'm going through it yet again with my current WIP. Mostly though I just want people to be less afraid to get their writing out there!
Thank you for posting this. I have been suffering from this my whole creative life (creative life is different from real life, of course, because it's a different kind of existence...yes, that sounds weird. I think in weird terms). I have wanted to reboot and repost a lot of older fics, but have been pushed backward by Intimidation (because it's like a real entity with it's own body, so I capitalized the name). My fear is that I can't write as good as I did a decade ago. I was doing some odd pieces that some people liked and others hated. I gave up possession of my creativity and drive to write to those negative forces. It took a lot away from my experience as a person. Now I want to start over but don't really know where to begin.
ReplyDeleteWell then I'm glad you read it and I hope it helps some. I think one of the things that helps with this is taking advantage of making this really a community here where we encourage each other. It makes it a lot easier to deal with any unfortunate negative comments if you have a lot of other supportive people reminding you not to listen to them. I can also understand the feeling that you are out of practice and maybe won't be as good.
DeleteI hope some others may chime in here and help give you some advice on where to begin as you come back. For me, I usually just write kind of freely, any little scene that comes to mind, if I just want to get something written down, and get back into practice. Usually these scenes are far too boring to ever actually publish, but it still at least helps to get the writing going again. Intimidation is no fun for sure, especially when truthfully most of us just want to read some decent fics and enjoy each other's stories, and while yes there are certainly writers who are kind of a step above in terms of writing quality (I'm not one of them) I still hugely enjoy many stories from people whose works don't like, awe me with their level of near professionalism. Also, most of the people who write that high quality stuff are generally pretty awesome, supportive people who as far as I can tell do not turn their noses up at other writers who are more on my level here with writing. There's room for all of us, and our different kinds of stories. Hopefully you can avoid those negative forces!
@leiamoody I don't know about you, but fear of failure (on some level) is almost always the reason for my procrastination and/or hesitation about....well, about anything in life, really! But it's definitely true for me when it comes to writing. For the past several months, I've had a rather annoying "other" voice in my head when I'm trying to write. It's a very critical and unkind voice that says really mean things about me and the way I write, and it has made the whole process a lot less fun for me than it used to be. I'm too self-conscious now, and I can't seem to shake it.
DeleteWhen I first returned to writing fanfic a few years ago, I initially didn't plan to publish anything. I was just writing in visceral response to the spoilers I'd read about TFA; small "fix it" scenes to soothe my feelings. But when a story began to take shape and I started to consider publishing it, I knew I would have to do so in an environment where any negativity (online or IRL) would be kept at some remove from my true self; hence the pseudonym I use and the whole "alt identity" I've developed. It's mainly to keep my personal life and fic-life separate, but it's also tied to that critical inner voice somehow. I need to create an atmosphere in which I write to please only myself, without thinking too hard (or worrying too much) about what others will think or say about it. Otherwise, it's really difficult to write at all.
I think another thing to consider is if you're struggling with Intimidation, while at the same time worried about negative forces, you might want to publish on ff.net instead of Tumblr; I don't know where you were intending to publish, but I find ff.net to be a much more friendly community of people who are out to cheer others on in their writing work than tumblr. Others may differ in their opinions, but I do think there is something to be said, when you're struggling, for finding the friendliest option for publishing.
DeleteI did find this appropriate, I have to say. Currently in my doc manager at FF.net is a piece I titled "43just stop already." Because there are 4 others with some semblance of chapter 43 started, and I can't find a happy medium.
ReplyDeleteWe all have that inner voice, I think. But writing is as unique as a fingerprint! Our voices are so individual that it is pointless to compare yourself to a writer you admire. Chances are they admire you back!
We can't let our inner voice become that damaging nasty review. It can thoughtfully critique- step back, read objectively- did you make your point, is your tone off, etc but it should never shut you up.
Leiamoody, I am so glad to see you here, and thinking about posting again. I would bet that in many ways you are a better writer, because you've built up experiences. How you comment on life (Han and Leia's) is more valuable to me than where you put that semicolon.
So, so true that writing is unique and we should never compare ourselves to others. It took me a while to really get that through my own head, that I was never going to be one of those writers where people would be like, wow, the writing here is just so beautiful! But you know, that's ok. It's not all about flowery, beautiful writing. It's awesome and amazing that there are people that can do that. But some of us are a little, let's say, simpler with our styles. We tell the stories in our own ways, and that's ok too. I think it took me realizing when reading a lot of like, actual books, that there was a real difference between writers in that way, and that there were plenty of very successful authors who wrote good stories without using the kind of prose that makes you stop and wonder how you could possibly ever write again because it was all so beautiful. And again, that's ok.
DeleteI did have to laugh at the name of your chapter. I had a file that when I finally got talked into sending it to someone to beta read I decided to title, "Stupid story you made me send you." And honestly, it turned out to be one of my works I'm more proud of.
Knitz, I love this too: “Our voices are so individual that it is pointless to compare yourself to a writer you admire. Chances are they admire you back!”
DeleteHey there! I fancy myself a writer now, so this post, along with the comments, were good to read! I’ve been chugging along for a couple of months now, writing little scenes that come to mind. Mainly, I’m trying not go down the rabbit hole of comparing myself to other writers, because that would stop me dead in my tracks.
ReplyDeleteZyra, I believe what you said is so true: “...most of the people who write that high quality stuff are generally pretty awesome, supportive people who as far as I can tell do not turn their noses up at other writers who are more on my level here with writing.”
As someone said to me recently: we all just want more fic. It doesn’t all have to be mindblowing.
@leiamoody & @erindarroch, I hope you both find the frame of mind you need to come back to writing soon!
I love the drabbles you've posted on Tumblr!
DeleteI'm a new writer as well (Mermaid 32 on ffn), and I've been struggling with those negative thoughts comparing myself to other writers and wondering if I really can contribute anything worthwhile. I know those thoughts are bad for me, because they make me anxious and then my brain freezes. The blank page stares back at me, so I close the document and walk away. Ugh. I'm glad I'm not alone in these feelings, and I feel better reminding myself that most everyone has been really supportive. I've learned quite a bit from my wonderful beta readers, and I'm trying to apply it. I am trying to remind myself to focus on writing for myself, rather than what I think readers want. Then, after I write SOMETHING, I can change it as needed. That's what I did with my first fic, and I'm very pleased with how it turned out. Now, I have to convince myself to do the same with this one. @jennycbs, I like the idea that "we all just want more fic. It doesn't all have to be mindblowing." I just want mine to be good!
ReplyDeleteYes, all good things! Definitely write for yourself rather than trying to twist it all into what you think will score readers. And so true that it doesn't all have to be mind blowing. I think all of us have favorites that are totally silly and definitely not what anyone would call fine pieces of literature, but we still love them anyway.
DeleteIt's so heartening to know this is common among even the best writers out there. Try as I might, I just can't seem to get in the creative 'zone' of late, and the more I try, the more frustrated I get. I feel totally bereft of ideas, and fear anything I would try to write would come out sounding forced and half-hearted...I'd much rather just sit back and read what y'all have for me, instead! So, keep it coming, you creative geniuses!
ReplyDeleteI do believe lying fallow for a while isn't necessarily a bad thing, though. I think taking a break allows one to come back and look at a WIP with fresh eyes and renewed enthusiasm. I hope so, at least!!
Very true, I agree sometimes you just need to step away. I've never been one who thought anyone should force writing when it just isn't happening. I don't think any good ever comes from that. As much of course as it pains me to agree with someone whose writing I enjoy and don't want to see go away!
DeleteOh, hell yes, this is a gold post, easily still important and necessary for all writers to read.
ReplyDeleteI will tell you something that was really helpful to me in my past fanfic days: no one story will ever be The Best in the Fandom, and trying to write The Best in the Fandom will leave you tied up and arrested in your own creativity. Back in the day, I nearly worshiped an author named IvyLore, who told different, well-written stories that I wanted to emulate so badly. Ivy had purpose to her writing, plot, even, and I couldn't figure out how she DID that. So I asked her. And she said that her secret was simply not giving a **** (I'll censor myself here so Zyra doesn't have to worry, haha)
It's not that Ivy really DIDN'T give a ****, it's that she decided that whenever that voice started nagging at her that she wasn't the best, that she was failing her readers, that she wasn't good enough to be telling the story she was telling, she'd force herself to tell it that she didn't care because literally NO ONE ELSE DID. The voice in her head was not echoing reality. And to hear that she had the same concerns I did was mind-boggling to me, because this was IVY. For me, she actually was The Best in the Fandom. But she wasn't to everyone. And even if she HAD BEEN universally considered The Best in the Fandom, she still worried she wasn't good enough.
This is why talking with other authors is so important. I don't know a single author that honestly believes they are The Best in the Fandom. And I don't think any of us could agree on one author to crown The Best. That's boring. That's dumb.
So don't go for being The Best. Go for being different. Go write Earth AUs or flash fics or make H/L spies or whatever it is you want. No one is The Best. And your voice deserves to be heard, too, just the same as anyone else.
Thanks for sharing that! I think that almost anyone who has been involved in the Han and Leia fandom knows of Ivy's legendary status. Which is exactly why it is so important to hear stories like this and how even writers who are so greatly admired have gone through all of the exact same things. And the thing is, while we can probably all agree that she is a fantastic writer, her stories aren't for everyone. And that's ok, and that is why there is room for all of us here. Sometimes you want an epic story with angst and drama and tragedy, and sometimes you want a silly one-shot that isn't taken seriously at all but just makes you smile and feel all warm and fuzzy, or maybe you just want to read something short and smutty.
DeleteYou've reminded me too of another post I did here that relates to this that is titled, "They don't all have to be amazing." Just as you say, don't set out to write The Best fanfic in the fandom, because it will be paralyzing. Just write what you want to write and there is a good chance other people will want to read it.
Seems like writers' block (which for me right now seems to be writers' city) is going around!
ReplyDeleteMy problem right now is writing a lot of meta, which I have so much fun with, and ranting a bit after certain films...anyway.
To echo everyone up thread, as a reader, I want all the stories! I want to see Han, Leia and Luke - happy and even not happy if they end happy!
As a writer, I wince and think "really, do people care about this piece of fluff I'm writing?" and then I have someone leave a comment about how that was the exact story they needed right then - and that makes it worth it.
The trick is to keep writing and if a certain scene never goes anywhere, put it in a file and keep it. One day, you might have a story for it. Don't listen to that voice that says no one wants the story - someone wants that story. Someone needs to read it. I know it's hard to shut it up, but keep writing and have fun with the bits and bobs that go nowhere and with the story that goes and you think it's writing it for you.
If you've seen the new Apple commercial, with the office worker who's had an awful day and comes home to ask Siri to "play me something that I'd like" and dances around her apartment, her problems gone for a few minutes - your story is that song for someone. Even if it's just yourself.
https://youtu.be/305ryPvU6A8
I think another thing to remember when you're feeling like someting is hard for you to write, or you're overthinking, is that all of fan fiction is a draft. There is no final, finished product until you decide that you're done with a piece. You can put an early draft out there, decide you're not thrilled with it, take it down, polish it up, try again. The perfect is the enemy of the good when it comes to a lot of things, but especially when it comes to the decision to write, edit, and post fan fiction.
ReplyDelete