"Am I dying?"

CHAPTER XIX

Han helped her into the shuttle and her eyes crossed from the pain shooting in her arm.  It felt different, deeper than the time before when she had been shot on Endor’s moon.  The sting of betrayal and of second-guessing her decisions made the pain all the more unbearable. 

Leia felt the click of her crash webbing as Han strapped her in.  She turned her head and found Carlist Rieekan’s eyes watching her protectively.  She whispered, “I’m sorry.  I was wrong.”

She saw Carlist open his mouth to speak as everything went dark.  Han’s voice calling out her name was the only thing she could hear, but she couldn’t make her body respond to him.  Awake but not able to speak or see anything.  Han yelled for the pilot to take off and as the repulsorlifts fired up, Leia’s world went blank.

When Leia began to regain consciousness she winced at the still excruciating pain radiating from her arm.  Am I still on the transport?  Finding her bearings she realized she must have made it somewhere since she was definitely lying down.

As she worked to open her eyes, she felt someone squeezing her hand and a familiar voice calling her name.

“Han?” she croaked out as she blinked at the blinding overhead lights.

“I’m right here, sweetheart,” Han replied with another squeeze of her hand.

“It hurts,” she whispered.  Not one to usually admit pain or discomfort, Leia wondered if they hadn’t realized how much pain she was in, thinking that perhaps they had underestimated her wound.

“I know, baby.  Just hang in there.”

Her eyes adjusted to the light somewhat and she found Han’s face hovering over hers.  A movement behind him caught her eye at the same time she heard Luke’s voice say, “I’ll go wait outside.”

“No, you don’t have to leave,” Leia pleaded as she watched Luke walk towards her.

“You two need some time alone.  I’ll be right outside, I promise,” Luke replied as he patted her leg and walked away with a shy smile.

Leia watched Luke walk away as confusion washed over her.  Something didn’t feel right.  She looked back to Han for some reassurance and found none there.  He was smiling at her dumbly and she could’ve sworn that he actually had tears in his eyes.  Oh, kreth!

“Am I dying?”  Leia asked in a whisper, barely able to believe that this is how she would finally go. 

Han’s reaction did not help to clear things up for her.  He laughed, a hearty laugh that caused his lingering tears to burst forth.  “Dying?  No, you’re not dying,” he said as he wiped his eyes.  Suddenly Leia’s confusion began to turn into frustration and anger. 

“Han!  I know something’s going on.  Don’t try to hide it from me,” she pressed.

“Calm down.  You shouldn’t be working yourself up.”

“I wouldn’t be getting myself worked up if you would just tell me what’s wrong with me,” she replied as she tried to sit up but immediately regretted it. 

As she sucked in a quick breath from the pain, Han’s face grew serious.  He laid a hand on her shoulder and settled her back down on her bed.  “Sweetheart, relax.  You just need to relax, okay?”

“Han.”  She shut her eyes, that smallest bit of exertion seeming to wick the strength right out of her.  “Just tell me what’s going on.”

Han took a deep breath and then squeezed her hand.  His dumb smile from earlier crawled back over his face and Leia prepared herself for the worst.  “You’re pregnant.”

She hadn’t prepared herself for that.  She shook her head at him as if she could deny what she had just heard.  A wave of nausea washed over her as if her body was trying to convince her that it was true.

“You’re gonna have a baby,” Han reiterated. 

“I know what it means,” she replied tightly and Han laughed at her again.  “But-”

“I know, we both had contrachips.  That’s what I told ‘em,” Han answered her, anticipating her question.  “Something about the starving body and breakdown and…fate.”

Still astounded at this turn of events, Leia replied absently, “Fate?” 

“Yes, fate,” Han answered her as he lowered his head down to hers and kissed her on the lips.  Whispering in her ear, he said, “Sometimes things happen because they’re supposed to and not because you meticulously planned them that way.”

For the first time she felt a smile creep across her lips.  Fate, like her love for Han, had surprised her yet again.  She felt a tear fall down the side of her face.  “I can’t have a baby,” she argued.  They were in the middle of war.  A war that if the pain in her arm was any indication, was back on full speed ahead.

 

Han laughed at her again as he sat on the bed next to her.  “Um, physically, I think we’ve proven that statement wrong.”

 

“You know what I mean.  We’re at war.  We’re fugitives, living underground-”

 

“Shhh.  Try not to get yourself worked up.  We’ll figure everything out, don’t worry.”

 

She gazed into his eyes and wanted desperately to believe him.  But this was not the galaxy that she wanted to bring a child into.  This was not the way she always imagined this day would happen.

 

“Just look at the bright side,” Han said, interrupting her thoughts.

 

“What’s that?”

 

“At least we’re already married.” 

 

Han winked at her and she smiled at him.  If there was any person in the galaxy that could put her at ease, it was Han Solo.  She hadn’t even grown accustomed to calling him her husband and now he would be the father of her child.

(My condition from Zyra was that Leia had to be pregnant.  Well, unbeknownst to her, I was planning on springing that surprise on her anyway, so it was an easy condition to meet!)