Stuff that Bugs Me About the Original Trilogy

I think it's about time we posted something that was neither answers to your questions nor another chapter of our little story, don't you? So last weekend, like most other holiday weekends in the United States, there was a Star Wars marathon on Spike TV. And I'm sure like many of you, in spite of owning the DVD's and being able to watch them whenever I want, it is somehow more exciting when they are on TV, even if it does involve excessive commercial interruption. But there are a lot of little things that happen throughout the trilogy that I sit and think to myself, wait, what? So here are some ponderances, and feel free to contribute.

-Does it seem a bit unfair to anyone else that Luke got sent off to live as a poor farmboy while Leia went off to be a princess?

-While we're on that subject, don't even get me started about the fact that Luke kept his original last name. I'd think they'd have the equivalent of Google people searching in Star Wars.

-I cannot watch the scene where Alderaan blows up without first laughing at Leia's out-of-nowhere British accent.

-Do you think maybe it was a bit excessive that Obi Wan chopped that guy's arm off when he was starting a fight with Luke in the cantina? Did he really have to sever a limb? Couldn't he have just Force-shoved him or something?

-On the same subject, are Jedi trained exclusively to disarm their opponents by literally DIS-ARMING them? Seriously, how many people get limbs chopped off by lightsabers?

-Was Han's reward really in all of those cases at the end? You'd think with all of those space ships that can travel the speed of light and the fact that they can shoot lasers that maybe they'd have already come up with e-transfers.

-Speaking of e-transfers, did Han honestly really have to give Jabba his money back in person? You'd think the Alliance could've fronted him the money and he'd just transfer it to his account or something.

-Is it weird to anyone else that even Chewie actually changes is "hair style" in each of the movies? Seriously, go back and look, the hair on his head looks different in each one.

-So Luke is all broken up about Obi Wan dying - you know, the guy who he had just spent a couple of hours with over the last day or two - and Leia just lost her entire planet including her whole family and she's comforting him as they fly away from the Death Star? Really?!?!?

-If Artoo and Threepio weren't on that ship with Leia, all three movies never would've happened.

-Was it honestly necessary to show the tauntaun guts spilling out after Han sliced him open with the lightsaber? We get it, he cut it open, we don't need to know what its insides look like.

-What is up with how poofy Han's hair is when the door opens to reveal they're having dinner with Vader? It is literally only the shot where the door opens, then his hair goes back to normal.

-How awkward must that dinner have been? Seriously.

-So... bows and arrows and rocks on strings and stuff are more powerful than armored stormtroopers with blasters?

-Was there any kind of screening process for stormtroopers? I mean, in spite of what Obi Wan says about their accuracy on the sandcrawler, it seems like their aim is so bad they couldn't hit sand if they were standing on Jabba's sail barge. Most useless employees ever.

-On that note, was that armor actually supposed to protect them from something? Because to me it looked like anytime someone hit them with a blaster, they went down.

-Why does Leia suddenly start mispronouncing Han's name when she's on Bespin? That whole time she says his name like it rhymes with pan. Maybe she picked it up from Lando? The way he introduces himself in the first place and the way she says it anywhere but there is like it rhymes with dawn. That's the way it should be.

-So... all of Jabba's evil friends just kind of fall asleep randomly throughout his throne room or whatever? Oooookaaaaay....

All right, I think that's enough for now, but I may think of more things when I pick up my blu rays in a few days. And no, I'm not even going to get into the changes that have been made. Again, let me know if there was anything else in there you had always wondered about the trilogy.