Monday, October 29, 2012

The Other EU: Guest Review of "Jawas of Doom" #81 from the Original Marvel Series

This review was submitted by Elivagar.  Thanks for taking the time to do it!

SPOILERS! This is more of a play-by-play than anything, so if you want to be surprised while reading this particular comic for yourself, skip it.

I present to you, JAWAS OF DOOM! Marvel Star Wars #81

It's the morning after the Battle of Endor and instead of luxuriating in the warm embrace of his lover, Han is arguing with some pilot about money. Han was looking to score a loan from this guy, but apparently still owes him from back on Hoth, so Mr. Pilot isn't exactly jumping to hand out anymore cash. Han attempts to sway him with excuses and bragging, but the pilot has heard enough and takes off.
Suddenly, Leia is at Han's side and she's in a pretty good mood...for now. 


He goes on to tell her about his money problems. Leia generously offers to lend him credits because she's loaded but Han clearly has some deeper issues and refuses her help. He storms off yelling, "I always made it on my own and I intend to now. I don't belong to anything!" Sheesh, Han. Save it for COPL. All the while, Chewbacca is napping with some Ewoks.

Lando, Wedge, and Luke are recounting the events of last night and notice Han and Leia's little altercation. Of course, big brother Luke asks if everything is okay. Leia excuses Han's behavior, telling him that things have happened so fast for him and that he just needs some time.

Meanwhile, Han is trudging through the forest still pouting when he comes across the Millennium Falcon. Instantly, his mood is brightened. Good thing he hasn't noticed the missing sensor dish. He checks out the inside of the ship and notes that the pair of dice are still hanging in the cockpit (which I've only ever noticed in A New Hope). Chewie finds Han still feeling sorry for himself and gives him a big hug. Aww.

We cut to some time later, and Han has realized he has a stash of money waiting for him on Tatooine. Usually, it's never a good idea to visit Tatooine, but since Jabba and Boba are both dead, his figures it's a good time to go pick it up. He brings Leia and Artoo along with him, insisting that the only reason he brought them along was because Chewie wanted to hang with the Ewoks and Threepio is the only one who speaks Ewokese. Leia doesn't buy it and knows it's totally because he's hoping for some good stuff.

We are shown a series of panels informing us that Boba Fett has in fact been burped up by the Sarlacc. Some Jawas find him, thinking that he's either a droid or a cyborg. At least, that's what some protocol droid tells them. Boba is thrown in the back of a sandcrawler, but oh no, some Sand People are hot on their trail.

Back on the Falcon, Han is arguing with someone named Garrick about landing in Mos Eisley, since, well, Han sort of just blasted out of there last time. Leia interjects, offering some clearance code she has. See Han, she's always got you covered. Just accept it. Leia points out that doing things the nice way gets results, but Han lets her know that beating someone's ass would be more satisfying.

So they're off to get Han's credits while Artoo stays behind to recharge. Leia waits outside the office when some cloaked, green guy asks her if she's "working". So either he thought she was a prostitute or a drug dealer, as he mentions that there isn't much of...that...going on since Jabba's been dead. She's pretty quick to inform him that she's just waiting for her friend. Then they start discussing Jawas and crime rates.

Inside, Han is once again arguing, this time with the man-woman (I can't decide what it is exactly) at the desk about his money. His account was frozen because he was frozen, and since he isn't frozen now, he can't possibly be the same customer. He'll have to take it up with a computer. Han isn't okay with this so in typical Han style, he storms off to get himself a drink, Leia chasing after him. He's hesitant to let her follow him into the Cantina, but Leia will do what Leia wants.

They share a tender little moment, but it seems that Threepio has ruined her for life, as she now thinks about droids any time she's about to kiss Han.

Who'd have thought it wouldn't be a good idea to leave your droid alone in a spaceport on Tatooine? Artoo is now missing, so Han and Leia go looking for him. They find that Garrick guy from earlier working on some speeders and ask him if they've seen anything suspicious. He claims to mind his own business and reminds Han that it is every man for himself around here. Han kicks him in the face and hijacks the speeders along with Leia, following the tracks of a sandcrawler. Oh yeah.

Inside the sandcrawler, Artoo runs into Boba Fett, somehow remembering who Boba was even though I'm pretty sure they were never in the same room together. Han and Leia arrive and start flying around, shooting at the sandcrawler to get the Jawas to stop. Of course they don't, they just start shooting back.

In all of the action, Leia's speeder gets shot down, but Han is oblivious while she eats dirt. The Sand People from earlier? They've caught up with them, and they're laying down massive fire on the sandcrawler, but Han still thinks it's Leia blasting them.

He makes his way up top the sandcrawler, and falls into the open hatch, coming face to face with Boba. Unfortunately, in Han's clumsy maneuvering to the top, he crashed his speeder into the treads of the Sandcrawler, and what do you know, it's heading straight for the Sarlacc Pit. But no one is steering.

Now Han and Boba need to team up to get out of there. Boba must have been smacked on the head just right because he has no idea who Han is. That is, until Leia opens her big mouth. But for the time being, he is compliant. This is the first time I've ever seen the word "Hallelujah" used anywhere in the Star Wars universe. Han gets out with Artoo, and being the good guy he is, is about to save nasty ol' Boba. Leia yelps Han's name just the right amount of times for Boba to remember, and then turns on Han. Can't say he didn't try.

In an ironic conclusion, Boba ends up right back in the Sarlacc along with the sandcrawler. I almost feel bad for him. He was only free maybe a few hours.

So Han, Leia, and Artoo walk off the sunset. And then they are massacred by Sand People.

Just kidding. But seriously, I wouldn't be wandering the Tatooine desert at night. I suppose they have no choice.

Apart from Han's irrational actions and balled up fists, it's a fun read. You get to see Han and Leia together and there are couple of nice moments. The art is decent, nothing jarring at least. For about 4 bucks, it's a nice addition to a collection.


  1. Cool. Thanks, Elivagar. I read this a while back and pretty cute. I was curious about Han and Leia the night after the celebration. Man, could she look any hotter in that one pic with her suit unzipped like that? Where did she pic that outfit up from? If she walked around looking like on the way to Bespin, I'm thinking she drove Han crazy. :)

  2. Yep, of course since I've got the whole Marvel series, I read this one. Let me tell you, from someone who read them all start to finish it was SUCH a welcome relief to finally get to the first comic post-ROTJ because Han had been in carbonite for the last like 40 issues or something crazy. Granted, they did a couple of "flashback" ones that he was in, and there were a couple of nice ones where Leia was obviously really missing him, but still, it was just so nice to turn the page and see the above pic of Han with his hands on his chest like, "Hey, I'm back!"

    Anyway, Han's overreaction about not belonging anywhere and not wanting to borrow money from Leia was a little bit drama queen, but he did come around fairly quickly. And I did like the little moment when they're holding hands. But seriously, why bring Boba Fett back for like 7 pages and then just kill him again? There should be a list of all of the times Fett has "died" in all of the EU. I bet it's pretty extensive.

    Thanks, Elivagar for the review!

  3. I kinda remember this one the first time round, I was 7 at the time and had a huge collection of the old marvel comics. It was good to see how the artwork had evolved into something that actually resembled the characters, compared to he-man Luke and trout-pout Leia with the enormous boobs from the very early comics.

    I always found the post ROTJ stories very inconsistent with regard Han and Leia's relationship, this particular one is certainly one of the better ones. In others you had a hard time believing they were actually a couple sometimes, or had ever been. A lot of the stories seemed to skirt around the issue.

    Amara, I like how you said you were "curious" about them the night after the party? ;) like did they share the same hut? That kinda thing? ;) well, we all thought it!

    Anyway, nice review, Elivagar. Good to see some of the old stuff getting a look in.

  4. Ha ha, I like your review. I have this comic, but haven't read it in years. Your review brought back memories and made me laugh. I love your remark about Leia being ruined for life now, always thinking of droids when it's time to kiss Han.

    Two things really bugged me about the comic, then and now. The picture of Leia and Han in the near kiss panel... "Artoo!" "Huh?" They both look so bad in that pic. She has no chin and he has a profile like a gargoyle. Also, how did the sarlacc pit get big enough to swallow a sandcrawler?

    I did like the "working girl" line though, since it hints at a sleaziness usually not alluded to in the Marvel series.

    Thanks again.

  5. Thanks for the review. I was only able to read the first page or two of this when I went looking for it in one of the comic omnibus books at BN.
    I'd like to know what adventures they had before we got the more politically involved EU.

    1. You should get it, they're kind of fun. Honestly, a lot of these comics are mostly just... weird. All of the post-ROTJ stuff feels like they really stopped trying. The artwork gets progressively worse and there is barely anything resembling what I'd call a story. It mostly involved Zeltrons, which look like teenagers from the 80s if they had pink skin. Definitely not much to do with politics. There are a couple of sweet little Han and Leia things, but they are mostly marred by bad artwork or one or both of them acting childish.

  6. That was a nice review and interesting to read because I've never read those comics! The way Han is behaving, it makes me think that some teenage boy made this comic! :D

    So, was the sarlacc pit really big enough to swallow a sandcrawler like Liz was wondering? Looking at the last picture and not reading the comic, my first thought was that the sandcrawler killed the sarlacc pit! :D I guess that's what would have happened in the "real life". ;)

    Oh, and sorry guys, I'm posting so many comments, but there's so many blog posts I'm behind you and can't help myself! :D