Friday, March 30, 2012

Joint Story: The Sequel - Chapter 6

Secret Marriage
CHAPTER 6
Leia spent the rest of the evening slumped over her desk and its customary mound of paperwork.  Her meeting with Han had gone better than she expected.  Begrudgingly, she admitted that Han had been somewhat civil and mature about the entire thing and although he had teased her a little, it wasn’t nearly as much as he could have given the circumstances.
Married to Han Solo.  Ha!  She still couldn’t get over the absurdity of the entire thing.  What a cruel trick of fate that mission to Atzerri had been.  This was the last thing that she needed to deal with or think about and the very last person that she wanted to feel somehow indebted to.  After all, he was already keeping one secret, about how they had woken up together.  Now she would be further beholden to him, so to speak.
But there was nothing she could about that now.  She had only to concentrate on getting them out of the situation as painlessly as possible.  Thumbing through a few datafiles, she pulled up the mission notes on the Atzerri operation.  It shouldn’t be that difficult to get the High Council interested in reopening the case.  There was still a trail of untouched credits waiting to be scooped up on that planet.  The problem was Han.  Although she was key to the mission, Han was most definitely not and after their cover had somehow been blown the first time, she was more than sure that the High Council would be more than a little hesitant to send the pair back for a second try.  No, more than likely, another operative would be assigned to her and that just wouldn’t do at all.  But a problem was much easier to solve when you were prepared for it. 
**
“What about the mission to Atzerri?” Leia asked casually as the High Council meeting was drawing to a close.
“What about it?” Mon Mothma asked.
Leia took a deep breath, trying her best not to appear too eager.  “Although Captain Solo and I had to abort the mission due to the burglary, there are still several depositories with large sums that we hadn’t visited yet.  Those credits are still out there waiting.  And I think we can all agree that now is not the time to leave any money on the table.” 
Leia’s heart was racing inside of her chest.  Of course nothing she said was untrue, but she couldn’t fight the feeling that everyone could see straight through her charade.  That everyone somehow knew her little secret.
Mon looked over to Madine, her eyebrows lifted in question.
“She’s right,” Madine said.  “There’s still plenty enough credits there to warrant a mission.  And it’s been long enough that the heat’s probably cooled.”
“Enough to send Leia back?  She’s the only one coded to open the accounts and I’m not comfortable sending her into known danger.  These missions are dangerous enough as it is,” Rieekan interjected.
Leia usually appreciated the general’s concern, but right now she cursed it.  Keeping her fingers crossed mentally, she awaited Madine’s reply.
“I wouldn’t send the Princess into a dangerous situation, General.  I assure you,” Madine replied.  “With that in mind, we’ll have to find a suitable operative to accompany her.  Sending Solo back with her would be out of the question.”
Leia’s heart sunk.  It was just as she had feared.  But all hope was not lost…yet.    
“Well, that puts a limit on things doesn’t it?  He’s about the only civilian ship we have docked right now.  Everyone else is preparing for the move,” Rieekan said.
Rieekan’s point was the one she had been counting on and she thought it a stroke of luck that he was the one to mention it and not her.  “The Captain may still be of use,” she said as all eyes turned to her.  “We could take the Falcon, as before.  But this time, Chewbacca could accompany me.  He didn’t leave the ship the last time and I’d be less likely to get burglarized with a Wookiee at my side.” 
She hated insinuating that she would be safer with Chewbacca than Han, knowing that Han’s ego would take a blow to hear her say it, but he would have to get over it.  It was for the good of their marriage!  Or to the end of it, at least!
“That would definitely work.  Quick thinking, as always, Princess,” Madine said.
Rieekan still looked less-than-pleased, but she would deal with him later.  A few logistical comments volleyed back and forth across the table, but in the end, it was settled. 
Leia leaned back in her chair, her brain unable to absorb much of anything now that she had cleared this hurdle.  The High Princess of Alderaan would be traveling to Atzerri to get a quickie divorce.  As her eyes roamed over the faces round the table, she wondered how all of them would react to such news as that.  The disdainful glare from Mon Mothma.  Shock from Madine.  Confusion and perhaps hurt from Rieekan.  That infamous reproach of Jan Dodonna’s.  She could also imagine the vultures in the holorags foaming at the mouth to get the scoop of this story.  She could see the pictures scattered across the holonet of her and Han.  Imagine the speculation surrounding the affair.  And then there was one more look that crossed her mind.  Han Solo’s smirk.  His cocky, arrogant, smug grin that she could see him wearing during the entire ordeal.  Oh, that man!  Why did it have to be that man?    

Thursday, March 29, 2012

The Beta Reader: Why You Need One


Remember when we used to write posts to help you with your writing? It seems like it's time. I know it's not as much fun as talking about Han and Leia's sex lives, but hopefully it will at least prove useful to those of you who are writing, especially since so many people have been writing lately which is a great thing!

All right, some of you may be wondering, what is a beta reader? It's our fancy fanfiction term for editor, basically. It's someone you hand your story off to that will proof read it for you and tell you if there are any typoes, grammatical errors, or even characterizations or story elements that are off if that's what you want them for.

Here's a tip: you need one. I need one. We all need one to give our stories a look before we post them. The smartest and best writers still have someone edit for them and still might misspell something or put a period where there should be a semi colon from time to time or use the same word three times in one sentence without noticing. The best, most capable writers make mistakes that they don't see themselves and it's important to have someone read what you are writing to make sure that you aren't making any.

Why is it important? Well, obviously first and foremost, you want what you post to be error-free. Second, these mistakes are often distracting and take you out of the story. I've seen plenty of stories where the writing itself is pretty good and I'm pulled in by the plot but it is maddening how many typos or punctuation errors or whatever are sprinkled throughout. It can drastically change your opinion of a story you otherwise might absolutely love.

We all make mistakes in our writing from time to time. Seriously, I might have pointed something out to someone ten times in their stories and then for some reason I'll do it myself in what I'm writing and someone will have to then point that out to me. Another common issue I have is using the same word multiple times in a paragraph instead of varying. It's one of those things you just might not notice when looking at it yourself. It just might require a second set of eyes.

When I first started writing, I didn't get why I needed a beta reader. Way back when I wrote my first stories, which was long before they were published, I was going to have them posted on one of the now-defunct Han and Leia sites that went under before my story got put up. They hooked me up with a beta reader who went through my story and corrected all kinds of stuff. To be honest, if you've never done that before, it's a bit tough to handle at first. Yes, it can make you feel stupid, but you have to remember that making mistakes in your writing doesn't make you an idiot. Making the same mistake over and over and over again after someone has repeatedly told you the correct way to do it might make you kind of an idiot. Okay, just kidding.

The point is, it is all supposed to be a learning experience. I know that once I got over my initial reaction, which was mostly, "Wow, I really suck at this if I make this many mistakes!" I was able to sit back and absorb the feedback and let it make me a better writer. I was doing some things that I would never have realized I was doing "wrong" and I'm so glad that someone pointed them out so I could work on them and not do them anymore. Some simple, like punctuation, but also things to make my writing better. One of my major problems was not varying my sentence structure, so it read very stilted and got boring after a while. I don't have to worry about doing that anymore.

The beta reader can be as involved as you want them to be as well. If you just want them to check and make sure it's all grammatically correct and the punctuation is where it needs to be, then tell them that. But they can also tell you if your characterizations are good or if certain things within the plot make sense or whatever. Obviously getting someone that involved requires finding a friend you trust with that sort of thing, and it's not something everyone needs, but it can be helpful if you need it. At bare minimum though, just have someone edit for grammar and such.

How do you find such a person? Well, there are options. I think there is a beta reader section on ff.net where you can find someone and contact them there. If someone you have met on here you think would be helpful you can contact them. Or another friend you know and trust. Just make sure the person you're asking actually knows what they're talking about. I've read things that include thanking a beta reader that are still riddled with typos, so be picky. If you're fourteen and you're writing your fourteen-year old friend might not be the authority on grammar that you believe them to be. That's not to say that anyone that young is incapable, just make sure you pick someone who knows what they're talking about.

So let someone proof read your story before you post. It's not a ton of extra effort and just makes sure that what you post won't be distractingly full of mistakes. Yes, I've stopped reading stories when I see too many typos. It has to be a lot for me to do that, but it does happen. It just tells me that the person didn't put any real effort in. Don't be impatient and just throw it up there. Make your story the best it can be! It's okay to need help!

Wednesday, March 28, 2012

You Asked For It...

"I can stand like a flamingo and still look cool."  ~  Han Solo

Sunday, March 25, 2012

Apocalypse Missing Moment by Seams2Be

**


Warning: Spoilers for Fate of the Jedi: Apocalypse

**


Thanks to Seams2Be for sharing this missing moment with us!


**


Setting: Directly after Jaina and Jag’s wedding from FOTJ Apocalypse
...

“Every new beginning comes from some other beginnings end” Seneca

Just Another New Beginning

Han and Leia sat in silence as they were completing the pre-flight checklist.  Nimbly working their fingers across data screens and key controls, moving in conjunction with each other like a well-oiled machine.
Inside the Falcon’s newly reconstructed cockpit, the reflective silence was comfortable, however just a touch of sadness hung in the air.

The Millennium Falcon and her crew: captain, co-pilot, one protocol droid, and one astromech droid, were preparing to depart the Hapan Dragon Queen, the host vessel of Jaina and Jag’s wedding ceremony and celebration.

The wedding was beautiful.  Jaina was radiant.  Jag was ecstatic. Han and Leia were relieved.  They were thrilled their daughter finally allowed love into her life. They were happy for Jaina, she deserved happiness and more, for she had seen too much of the opposite.

All during the ceremony and celebration, Han and Leia did their best not to let their emotions get the better of them. This was a happy memory to share, such a stark contrast to so many painful ones.  However, holding their emotions in check was a challenge.

Watching Han walk Jaina down the aisle, under a salute of lightsabers, Leia had held back her tears. Dancing with Luke, Ben, Lando, Jag and Han at the celebration, Leia concentrated on keeping a positive Force energy flowing through her. She almost lost her composure as she watched Han dance with their granddaughter, Allana.

Their granddaughter’s secret was no more. Soon the entire galaxy will know the Hapan Chume’da, the future Jedi Queen was indeed alive.

Allana would be taking her place in the Royal Hapan social structure, learning at the knee of her mother, Hapan Queen, Tenel Ka Djo. Being exceptionally strong in the Force, Allana will also attend the Jedi Academy under the watchful eye of her Aunt Jaina.

For the last seven years, Han and Leia had another chance at being parents by raising Allana, or Amelia as they called her in public.  They loved, protected, and cherished her.  Leia felt the lump rise in her throat again.

Although Leia knew they could visit Allana whenever they wanted and where ever Han and her decide to put down new roots, they would have always keep a special room just for Allana and her pet nexu. However, Leia also knew from her own personal experience, Allana’s childhood was about to become a distant memory. Soon the weight of the galaxy would be thrust upon her shoulders.  This thought gave Leia a heavy heart.

She and Han were thrilled to raise her, to be better parents the second time around, but they always knew this day would come. Saying goodbye to Allana after the wedding, ripped holes through their hearts, adding to the already tender vacancies left by the deaths of their only two sons.

“All systems checked, course plotted?” Han asked.

Both had changed out of their formal attire, into their comfortable travel jackets, shirts, pants and boots.  Leia let her hair loose from the more formal style she had worn for the wedding.

“All systems checked, course plotted?” Han requested again.

At that moment, Leia could no longer hold back her emotions; she felt the hot burning tears start to stream down her cheeks. Turning to face her husband, she could barely speak, “Han, for the first time in my life, I don’t know what course to plot.”

This was not just a matter of pre-flight amnesia, it was the unfamiliar state of being she currently found herself in.

Han reached over and took his wife’s hands in his. Here was a woman whose entire life’s purpose had always been clearly defined.

From a royal princess and Imperial senator, to a teenage rebellion leader.

She was Chief of State of the New Republic; a defender of refugees and by all accounts an unofficial general in the resistance against the Yuuzhan Vong. Now she was a full fledge Jedi Knight.

Leia had witnessed the destruction of her home planet; killing all the family she had ever known. Found out her arch enemy was really her father and Luke was her brother.

She fell in love with Han and he was taken away from her in a cruel twist of fate.  She freed him from his metallic prison only to be thrown into one battle after another for what seemed like an eternity.

Eventually they married, had children, raised them the best they knew how in a galaxy that often took them away from each other.

The Vong had been a tragic changing point. Death had hit their family, first his beloved first mate Chewbacca and then their youngest son. During that time, Leia and Han’s marriage became estranged as the weight of reality hit Han hard.

Leia nearly died at the hand of the Vong warmaster.  Han winced inside at the memory of seeing her broken body as they escaped Duro.  They made it. They made it through those terrible times. Their marriage grew stronger every year, forming bonds that could never be broken again.  Then the unthinkable happened.  Their eldest son was consumed by the Dark Side and became Sith. Han and Leia had to plot to kill their own son, though they knew the good kid they loved was already dead. In the end their daughter killed their son.

Through all of this, Leia stayed strong, never wavered, never compromised her principles, never gave up.  Always remained resolved and purposed. Han loved her more each day and he knew she loved him. Together they have been through so much and together they will forge their way to new adventures.  This was not the end, just another beginning. He had to get her to see that.

Giving her hands a squeeze, Han turned back to his console. “Here, plot this course,” he transmitted the coordinates to Leia’s console.

Through her tears, she plotted the course.  “The Corphelion’s?” she replied with a slight smile.

“Sure, Jaina and Jag aren’t the only ones who are going on a honeymoon.” Han grinned.

“Our honeymoon was over forty years ago.” Leia chided.

Han smiled, “I know. We’re starting over.  I made arrangements to stay a week at the same resort we never got to stay at the first time around and this time I don’t plan on leaving without fully exploring the Honeymoon Suite.” He winked at her.

She wiped away a tear, “You do have your moments.”

With that, Han lifted the Falcon out of the docking bay of the Dragon Queen piloting the craft to the openness of space to make their jump.

Taking one last look at the Dragon Queen, Leia caught a glimpse of Allana and her mother, Tenel Ka, in the large view port window. Leia blew Allana a kiss, both physically and through the Force.  Warmly, Allana sent a hug and kiss back to her grandparents. Reluctantly Han engaged the hyperdrive and the starlines stretched out in front of them.

“Come on, let’s get Threepio to fix us some dinner.  I don’t know about you but that food at the wedding was a bit bland.” Han growled.  He took Leia’s hand and led her to the Falcon’s galley.

*****

 “Is something wrong with the meal Mistress Leia?” Threepio noticed Leia had hardly touched her food.

“It’s all right Threepio, I’m just not as hungry as Han the Gamorrean over there.”

“Hey, I was hungry.” He gruffed.  “That Hapan crap they called food at the wedding tasted like a bunch of mouse droids rolled around in it.” Han replied sharply.

“Threepio, why don’t you take these plates and bring us some caffe.”

Threepio strutted off with the dishes, chuckling to himself as much as a droid could chuckle, “Master Han a Gamorrean...very clever.”

Listening to the sounds of Threepio’s servomotors fading away into the Falcon’s galley, Han looked over at Leia, who still seemed small and sad.  Her spirit was quiet, melancholy.

Of all the sides of Leia, this was the one he dreaded the most.  He could match her wit for wit; ride the winds of her anger, especially if it wasn’t blowing at him. He could break a stubborn stalemate with a well-timed lopsided smile, but when she was like this, his own soul hurt for her. Unfortunately they’ve been through this type of sadness far too many times for his liking.

“Are you sure you’re going to be all right?”  He questioned.

Nodding, Leia replied, “It’s too quiet.”

Allana had brought a new type of energy to their lives, she was adventurous, curious, asked many, often very observant questions.  Her nexu Anji could be herd purring and occasionally scratching at something on the Falcon, always being followed up with a Corellian curse from Han. Leia often thought Han had finally met his match with that nexu.  She missed Allana terribly.

Threepio returned with caffe for both of his masters.

“Thank you Threepio, that will be all.”  Leia smiled.

“Very well Mistress Leia.  I will see you in the morning.”

Threepio once again left Han and Leia in their silence.  Han reached over and pressed a few buttons on the closest control console.  Soft, mellow jazz music filled the lounge area.

 “Come on, let’s go sit on the couch”, he suggested as he got up from the meal table.

Leia sat with her legs stretched out on the couch, with her back nestled into Han’s chest.  He wrapped his arms around her, occasionally stroking her hair, he leaned is cheek on top of her head and breathed deeply.
The scent of Leia’s hair always brought Han back to their early days, when they weren’t exactly friendly with each other. He never let her know how the intoxicating smell of her hair could have been used as a secret weapon against him during those earlier days.  Her hair’s faint sweet scent was one of the first things about her that stirred his soul. That was a long time ago, yet it seemed liked only yesterday.

As they snuggled together, listening to the soft rhythms of the music, both were lost in thought.  Leia was the first to break the silence.  “You know, I wasn’t talking about coordinates when I said I didn’t know what course to plot.”

“I know” Han replied.  After many decades of being married, Han knew at moments like this she needed him to be strong, supportive and somewhat silent.

When Leia was contemplative like this, she would eventually open up and talk and if he started to interrupt or give advice before she was finished, she would never get all her feelings out to the surface. She would just tuck them away in a sad little corner somewhere deep inside.  No, he would just hold her, comfort her, listen to her.

Wrapping his arms around her tighter, he gently kissed the top of her head.  They listened in silence for a long time before Leia spoke again.  “I miss her... I miss them.”  She whispered.

“Me too” he said softly. 

It was always at times like this, when some innocent, non-related event opened those painful wounds that nobody but parents who lost their own children could understand.

Leia felt a few of Han tears fall on top of her head and instantly her own tears were back.  So deeply bonded to each other, they knew they had to ride this memory out together, letting the moment flow and pass through them.  Experience taught them they could not ignore, bottle up or run away from their heartache. Instinctively, Han and Leia quietly held each other for a long while.

Sensing the need to change the mood, Han pushed against Leia’s back in order to get her up off the couch.  As he stood up he guided Leia to her feet.

“May I have this dance, Your Highness?”  Han exaggerated a bow to Leia and without waiting for her reply he grabbed her by the waist and spun her around.

“What are you doing?” Leia questioned, somewhat surprised by the quick retreat from the couch.

“Changing the odds,” he grinned. He danced her around the lounge before settling into a slow steady sway. Han held Leia close, resting his head on hers again.  Leia wrapped her arms around his waist, her cheek against his chest, where she listened to his strong, steady heartbeat.

“Black holes” Han simply stated.

Leia looked up at Han, somewhat confused, “What?”

“Black holes” he said, looking directly into her tear stained eyes.  “That is what we have in our hearts, just
like in space.”


“Is this more of your pilot logic?” Leia teased.  Their dance continued as Han spoke.

“Hear me out Leia. As much as we want to, we can’t change the past, our son’s deaths will forever be black holes in our hearts.  Saying goodbye to Allana, and closing that chapter of our lives has brought us to the edge of those black holes.  But just like navigating through space, we have to be aware of black holes and plot a course to avoid them.  Fly too close or linger too long, and we’ll get sucked in, and never get out.  We aren’t denying the existence of the black holes, we just have to be careful not to get trapped in them.

Leia thought about his logic.  It was so Han, simple and obvious.

“When did you become so wise?” She smiled as she looked up at him.

“I’ve always been wise, you just don’t always notice.”  Pulling Leia out of their dance embrace, he playfully twirled her around and brought her back into his arms.

Once again pressing her cheek against his chest as she wrapped both her arms around his neck, as Han held his arms around her hips. They moved as one to the soft sensual music.

Leia pulled back a bit to stare intently into his hazel eyes, leaving her arms around his neck.  “Han, you are my rock. Solid, strong, secure. You hold my world together.”

He smiled devilishly and replied a soulful baritone voice, “And you Lady, rock my world.”  With that he leaned in and kissed her, the kind of kiss that always gave Leia’s stomach the flutters, ever since their first kiss in the circuitry bay all those years ago.

As their lips parted, Leia asked, “So what do we do now? I can’t see us retiring, spending our days just looking at each other. I might have to vape you at some point.”

Han smirked, “I’m tired of being called old, who the hell makes that determination anyway?  I still got it where it counts.”

Leia gave him an appreciative look, “That you do, flyboy.” She responded.

Han continued, “Besides, every time we tried to settle down something always happens.  Hell, we couldn’t even go to a pet show with out ending up in a fire fight.”

“And do you think “The Order” is going to let your diplomatic Jedi talents go to waste?  You know Saba likes to see her former apprentice challenged from time to time.”

Now Han was on a venting rampage, “Plus Lando always has some stupid scheme he needs our help with.”

“Careful,” Leia warned, “Lando was the one who resourced the repairs to the Falcon.”

“That’s another thing,” Han’s blood pressure started to rise, “Now that the GA has cut off the Jedi’s unlimited funding, how the kriff do they think they are going to pay for supplies, you know, like food and all those little brown robes?  Someone is going to have to teach them the art of procurement.”  Han stated.

The Jedi Masters may have the Force, but Han often felt they lacked good old fashion common sense.

While giving Leia his best lopsided grin, he confidently boasted, “See Leia, we’re just too good, the galaxy still needs us.”

This got Leia laughing. “You’re right, we will be called upon, probably sooner than later.  I can also guarantee you Allana will get herself into the kind of trouble that only you can help her get out of.”

Laughing, Han agreed, “I won’t even give you odds on that one.”

“Feeling better?” he suggested after a moment.

“Much.” she responded while Han once again pulled her close while they danced for a few more moments.

Abruptly, Han halted their dance, taking her hands in his.

“Leia,” his voice strong and serious, was matching his gaze into her deep brown eyes.

“We’ve flown from one side of this galaxy to the other, several times over. We’ve seen and been through a lot of strange stuff and I can honestly say that I do believe there is one, all powerful thing that does bind us all together.”

“The Force?” Leia asked.

“Nope,” Han smiled.  “Love.”

Softly Han kissed Leia and then lead her by the hand down the back corridor to their cabin, dimming the lights of the lounge along the way.

It wasn’t the end. Just another new beginning.

Thanks again, Seams2Be!  And Great Job!

Friday, March 23, 2012

Memories Return...

CHAPTER 5

Getting his marriage to Leia annulled was not something he had expected to add to his to-do list. Not now, not ever. Even drugged it seemed crazy that she had agreed to such a thing… or maybe she had instigated it? Han’s mind had been flashing to random images from that night, but none of them had come together to form anything close to a cohesive story. He even wondered if some of it he was remembering from dreams rather than reality.

Before he took care of that business, he had to message the supply crew to come and unload the cargo from his latest run. He hoped that Leia would understand that fixing this problem wouldn’t be instantaneous. For a moment he had a wicked thought that maybe he could stretch this out as long as possible, force her to stay married to him for at least… a few days, anyway. Who ever would’ve thought a guy like him would end up married to a princess? Even if it was all a horrible, drugged mistake. That didn’t mean he couldn’t attempt to enjoy it while it lasted.

He felt a bit insulted at how horrified Leia seemed over this ordeal. Granted this wasn’t something that either of them truly wanted, but it wasn’t as though they had to act like a married couple. It was a legal document and nothing more. Yes, quite unfortunately, nothing more…

Han thought back to waking up that morning, having slept next to an almost-naked Leia. He’d been just as startled as she was, followed by mild disappointment once they’d both jumped out of bed and she managed to cover herself before he saw anything he was positive he would’ve enjoyed seeing.

Looking down at himself, he’d realized that he was still in his underwear. Now, it had been a while, but he had never been in the habit of putting any clothes back on after enjoying some naked time with a woman. Leia, fortunately for her but a little less fortunately for him, also still had her lower half just covered enough to leave her halfway decent.

Han sat back in his pilot’s chair, lost in thought. Closing his eyes, he tried to remember anything from the night they had been drugged. He had no recollection of a wedding ceremony, that was for sure. He also couldn’t recall either of them talking about getting married, or even acting like they liked each other. Did he?

His eyes still shut, he could picture the curtains behind Leia as she held the sheet pressed tightly against her in the hotel room. They were a gaudy floral pattern of too-bright and mismatched colors. Turquoise, orange, yellow, pink and some sort of hideous shade of green.

Suddenly he saw the curtains again, only this time Leia was standing in front of him, pulling them closed and then turning and looking at him seductively. Leia had never looked at him like that. He was pretty sure she’d never had cause to look at anyone like that. Painfully slowly, she sauntered toward him and he backed away until he felt the back of his legs making contact with the bed. She closed the distance until finally she slipped her arms around him, squeezing his lower back and pressing her entire body against his.

She felt warm and soft and wonderful, and the entire thing was like a dream come true. The only problem was, as much as he wanted her, he knew she wasn’t herself. Even in his drugged state he understood that this was not how an unaltered Leia would act. But then she rested her chin against his chest, which was as high as she could reach, and he could tell she wanted to kiss him, but she couldn’t get close enough.

His conscience was at war with his hormones and as he looked down at those deep, brown eyes and those full lips nearly begging to be kissed, he decided there couldn’t be any harm in a little kiss, right? Lowering his head slowly, almost in fear that she would suddenly come to her senses and back away in repulsion, he finally pressed his lips to hers. He was tentative at first, but it didn’t take long until it was as though his lips sunk into hers as the kiss deepened, releasing tension he’d been feeling for what felt like years. Her lips parted gently and he felt her tongue silently but forcefully asking for permission as he opened his mouth to accept it.

His pulse was racing as his mind had been wiped of any thoughts aside from his intense desire for the princess who was suddenly kissing him quite passionately. Her delicate little fingers – well, usually delicate even though she had sure proven they could handle a blaster – reached up and began undoing the fasteners of his shirt. Time felt as though it were standing still and he still couldn’t believe what was actually happening. And he certainly didn’t want it to stop.

His skin tingled when she pushed his shirt open, brushing her palms against his chest as she lowered the garment off his shoulders. Pulling her close once again he marveled at the feeling of her warm body against his, the wonderful sensation of her hands moving up and down his back, showing him that she wanted this just as much as he did.

His eyes had snapped open at that moment. Not breaking the kiss, he wondered if she really did want this at all. This isn’t really her. I can barely remember the past few hours. We were drugged. Han had had the misfortune of being drugged on a few occasions, and he felt the familiar signs of realization rushing into his mind as the daze wore off. Leia, for her part, had not stopped kissing Han deeply, and he continued to let her. But he knew she was being influenced by something. Whatever it was would wear off eventually, and if he continued to let this happen she would probably never speak to him again. And that was only if he was lucky. It was more likely she’d actually kill him.

He knew she didn’t weigh much more than half of what he did, and whatever they had been given was not likely to wear off on her soon. It hadn’t even worn off him yet, just enough for him to start to know what was real and what wasn’t. He still had no idea how they had wound up here like this.

His mind was telling him that he needed to stop this before it went too far. His body was already rapidly approaching the point of no return. Gods, I want her. But not like this…

Abruptly, he pulled his face away from hers, out of her reach. The disappointment was evident as she glared at him. Gods, she’s a good kisser for someone who has been accused of being the Ice Princess.

“What are you doing?” she asked, sounding more playful than angry.

He wasn’t sure he could form words at the moment; his pulse was racing and he struggled to catch his breath. “I think maybe it’s time for you to go to bed.”

Her arms, still wrapped around his mid section, squeezed him more tightly. “That’s exactly what I had in mind.”

It’d be so easy. Just take her right now. She wants you!

Using every ounce of willpower he possessed, he reached behind his back and slid her arms away from him, stepping back and leaving space between them. He already missed having her body up against his. The playful disappointment that had previously been on her face had given way to anger.

“Don’t you want me?”

Why did she have to ask him that? How could he not tell her that he wanted her with every fiber of his being? He’d wanted this for almost as long as he’d known her, and yet he was pushing her away. This being noble crap is going to ruin my life.

“Sweetheart,” he began, instantly regretting using the term of endearment, even if normally she took it as a condescending insult, “I don’t think you really want to do this.”

A smile crossed her lips once again and she nodded, looking sultry and seductive enough to make him want to act on instinct rather than letting his brain handle this decision. He tried to remember if he had ever turned a woman down for sex. Well, truthfully there had been a few others, but they had been beyond drunk and he suspected he’d wind up cleaning up some vomit at some point during the evening which would surely taint the experience. Those women weren’t themselves either, but none of them were women that he actually had any feelings for.

In fact, he’d never had feelings like this for anyone before. You are an idiot, Solo. You might well regret this night for the rest of your life.

She surprised him by stepping back, giving him cause to release the grip on her previously-wandering hands. He was momentarily relieved, thinking he had finally convinced her, or maybe the drugs had finally started to wear off on her, too. But she had a twinkle in her eye and a mischievous smile on her face that suddenly made him very nervous.

“I think I know what I want. And I think you know what you want, too.” Just as she finished the last word, she crossed her arms in front of her torso, reaching down to the hem of the loose, airy dress she was wearing and pulling it over her head before he could even move.

All of the air had left his lungs and his heart sunk down to his stomach. His eyes traveled downward to see what she had revealed to him, finding smooth, obviously soft, creamy white skin. He couldn’t breathe or blink when his eyes fell on her chest that had seemingly spent the evening unsupported. Her lower half was covered by the standard-issue Rebellion nondescript white cotton briefs, but now that they were the only things keeping him from seeing her in all her glory, they only seemed to enhance one of the most arousing sights he had ever laid eyes on.

Speaking of arousing, he was going to find himself in a galaxy of trouble if he didn’t stop this right now. No matter how much he respected her and didn’t want to take advantage of her, he was still a man whose hormones were going to take complete control of him any second now.

She stood proudly in front of him with a nervous smile on her lips that told him that even though she'd made herself believe she wanted this, she had never let anyone gaze at her so intimately. There was no way he could do this to her, knowing it was something she had never experienced. Nobody should take advantage of someone like that. He took a half a second longer to commit the image to memory before he reached behind him and grabbed the coverlet from the bed, bringing it to wrap around her, pulling her up against his side.

He could see the disappointment on her face and he knew how awful it could feel to be turned down when initiating something like that. She had literally thrown herself at him and he rebuffed her advances. He hoped she wouldn’t remember that he had rejected her, as that sort of damage could be irreparable. Rather than apologize, he just tried to convince her that she needed sleep.

With so much less of her to draw his attention, he was able to find his voice again. “Come on, you’ve had a long day and I know you’re tired.” He spun them around so they faced the bed and then saw her face wrinkle in confusion.

“I’m not that tired,” she said as he spun her and sat her down on the mattress, careful to make sure that the blanket remained securely blocking any part of her that might distract him from his attempts at doing the right thing. The right thing sucks. I want to go back to not having much of a conscience.

She still looked confused, but she didn’t fight him when he lifted her legs to bring her horizontal on the bed, her head resting comfortably on the pillow. He felt a headache of his own coming on; he suspected partly the result of whatever drugs he’d been given, and partly because he was forcing himself to tamp down some incredibly intense desires. There was an even stronger ache coming from another part of his body that he did everything he could to ignore.

He grabbed another blanket to cover her, pulling it all the way up to her chin and blocking as much of her as he could without suffocating her. I’m not sure I can even look at her right now without wanting to change my mind about this.

He squatted next to the bed and smoothed the long, silky hair away from her forehead, attempting to soothe her and lull her to sleep. “Shhhh, rest, now. We had a long day. You just need your sleep.”

Her eyes shut and she pulled the blankets even tighter around her, and he exhaled in relief as he had finally convinced her that she didn’t want to do what she had almost done. “Shhh…” he said again, continuing to stroke her hair as her breathing deepened, and he got caught up in how peaceful and adorable she looked when she was sleeping.

When her lips parted gently and her breathing was deep and even, he knew she was asleep and he only then realized that his fingers were still brushing gently against the silkiness of her hair. Pulling his hand away, he simply sank down to sit on the floor to pull himself together, resting his head in his hands and wondering what the hell had just happened and why he was such an idiot.

Exhaustion started to overwhelm him, and he had only enough strength to use the ‘fresher before he stumbled back toward the only bed in the hotel room. Previously he had promised to sleep on the floor, but since she had seemed to so enjoy the idea of sleeping with him only a little while earlier, he figured she would get a lot less mad if he finally took her up on her offer now – even if in this case it was literally just to sleep with her.

Using the same logic, he thought she might not be so mad if he at least took off his pants as the coarse fabric did not lend itself well to sleep attire. Stepping out of his trousers, he was left in his own simple pair of white boxer briefs as he slipped under the sheet that still covered his side of the bed while Leia remained cocooned within the rest of the blankets like some sort of protective barrier.

He felt his body relax into the mattress, his muscles calming from being immensely tense earlier. In the darkness he glanced at Leia’s sleeping form next to him, only able to see the back of her head and the gentle rising and falling of the blankets on top of her with each breath she took. He wanted to pull her closer, hold her while she slept. It was the least she could let him do after he had saved her earlier from what she might have thought of as the biggest mistake of her life.
Instead, he rolled onto his back and stared at the ceiling before his eyes began to close. She was going to kill him in the morning. None of this was really even his fault and yet she was still going to kill him just for being… him. He couldn’t win.

Sleep had finally overwhelmed him, and when he had awoken in shock the next morning, all memory of the events of the previous evening had evaporated. All he knew was that he had found himself in bed with Leia, and he felt like it was some sort of sick joke that he couldn’t remember any of it.

But he remembered now. Han swiped his hand from his forehead down to his chin, feeling beads of sweat lingering on his skin. It wasn’t often that you were given cause to sweat on Hoth. He felt almost as frustrated as he had that night, wanting something so desperately that he just couldn’t bring himself to take, knowing that it just wouldn’t be right.

He wondered again when he had become such a good guy. He hated being a good guy. And he wondered if Leia would ever remember some of those details from that night. He wondered if she knew that he had stopped her from doing something she’d regret. He suspected she had decided without cause that the entire thing had been his fault.
Shaking his head, he realized that it didn’t matter. All that mattered was that they got this whole marriage debacle behind them as quickly as possible.

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Be Careful What You Ask For...

Han at the BBQ

I swear I remember seeing an interview with George Lucas where he stated that if post-ROTJ Han and Leia had just lived happily ever after with Han BBQ’ing in the backyard, that no one would want to read about it.  He was defending what we all know as the horrendous treatment that Han and Leia received in the EU.  At the time, I remember feeling as if George was wrong, knowing that I would love to read about Han grilling up some dogs and swigging a beer with Leia plump and pregnant in the background. 

But would I really?

Zyra and I have even talked about this in our own stories.  About how often we kidnap or torture or just generally cause havoc to our favorite couple all in the name of a good plot.  Let’s face it, it’s kinda hard to write more than a oneshot on just plain and pure fluff and/or smut.  And as much as I like to read about a warm and fuzzy moment between our favorite pair, if you expect to keep me hooked for any lengthy amount of time, you’d better have more than just the bedroom or BBQ going for you.

(Oh, but I did find a pic of Han's grill-of-choice):


The reason I was thinking about all of this is because of our recent conversations on what the end of the ‘Fate of the Jedi’ series means to Han and Leia.  With no more plot, no more kidnappings and princely suitors and Chief-of-State responsibilities, we are all prepared for our two darlings to ‘ride off into the sunset’.  Well, if we hadn’t have had all those kidnappings and princely suitors and Chief-of-State responsibilities, this day would’ve come a whole lot sooner, wouldn’t it have? 

So was it all worth it? 

Sure we’d all change a few things here and there.  DEFINITELY no Sith or dead children, but what about everything else?  What about COPL?  Would we have gotten an entire book about Han and Leia’s ‘courtship’ if there hadn’t been some stupid excitement?  Probably not.

I’ve got to tell you, now that it seems the time has come for Han to strike up the BBQ pit, I’m kinda regretting ever longing for it.  I mean, couldn’t Leia have some late-in-life baby like on Family Ties?  Maybe Han could try something death-defying stunt with the Falcon, like Fonzie jumping the shark? 

Something? 

Anything?

Anybody?

Sunday, March 18, 2012

Your No-EU Book Review Sunday Blog Update


As mentioned before, your faithful bloggers have taken the next two Sundays off from the EU book club reviews to get through and absorb Apocalypse. Obviously I finished, I don't know if Push has or not, but either way, we are also taking next week off just to have a bit of a breather and each of us is about a book behind and we want to catch up! So hopefully we can entertain you otherwise in the meantime. I know you're all just dying to hear all about the weirdness that is The Crystal Star but you're just going to have to wait.

I'd like to give a shout out to some of our new people who just found us and have commented as such. Thanks for coming and I hope you enjoy yourselves! And please, comment away because we love it. No comments = less incentive to post anything. We can just talk to each other through e-mail, you know ;) That is not really a complaint right now though because you all have been commenting quite a bit lately so for that, we thank you.

What you have not been doing is submitting any missing moments pieces! Come on, people, you know you want to. You can do it here or post on ff.net as some people have done or even both, but that was part of the reason we wanted to do this, so get to work! Also, it lets us do a little less work, which we always like ;) But really it's because we like reading more stories!

Speaking of more stories, once again I'd like to point out that there have been a lot of new Han and Leia stories posted recently over on ff.net and it's always great to see that. It's also been so nice to bring all of us crazies together because it's always more fun to share an obsession with someone else, so thanks!

All right, that's about it. And has anyone else actually read all of Apocalypse aside from just the last chapter? Am I all alone here?

Saturday, March 17, 2012

Han and Leia Discover COPL: Part 2

All right, admittedly I just kind of dashed this off as there wasn't a lot left to say, but, well, I like writing Han and Leia dialogue so like usual I probably made it go on for way too long...


“If you’d kidnapped me and shoved me in some closet I probably would have let Chewie beat you.”

“Sure, why not? You already couldn’t have cared less about me.”

“You know that never would’ve happened. Nobody in the universe could suddenly come into my life and make me stop caring about you.”

“Yeah, yeah. At least in the end you decided you still loved me. You know, as long as I was going off to die.”

“There was at least one accurate thing there. I do like the way your pants fit,” she said with a smile as she slid her hand up his thigh.

“Yeah, of all the last things to say to me before I die. Seems to be a theme with you. Can’t tell me you love me until I go into carbonite, can’t admit you’d rather have me than a prince until I’m about to die a suicide bomber…”

“I wouldn’t talk. You’re the one who couldn’t tell me you loved me until after I saved your life… again.”

“Whatever. You know, you could’ve at least given me some farewell sex. Sounds like it was a pretty good kiss, but come on, a noble sacrifice deserves one last intense round of lovin’.”

“If we’d started that you probably would’ve been late for your surrender. Tell me, Han, have you ever actually solicited Threepio for relationship advice?”

“Seriously? I don’t even like asking that damn droid to help me with things he’s actually programmed to do. You want me to start singin’ that song for you? What a man…”

She brought her hand up to cover his mouth. “Don’t ever try and sing anything like that again. I have to admit, I sort of enjoy the idea of a female dominated planet.”

“Honey, this house seems pretty female dominated to me. Minus the witch stuff and the poking me in the crotch with a stick.”

“We can add that to some role-playing later if you’re interested, flyboy.”

He pretended to consider it. “Normally I don’t mind anything you do to my crotch but maybe we can leave the prodding out of it.”

Leia smiled and then thought about the story once again. “You know what else bothers me? The idea that we waited four years after the battle of Endor to get married. If you hadn’t proposed to me in that amount of time, maybe I actually would’ve gone and found some prince somewhere.”

“Well, it didn’t say why. Maybe it was your fault.”

“My fault? Why would I have wanted to wait?”

“Maybe you had no intention of ever marrying me. It was just something to do that would be fun while it lasted.”

“Well, that’s just silly. I knew there was no way I was going to let you go.”

“Yeah, well maybe you were worried about what other people might think if you married a smuggler.”

“You know, I really hate that angle in so many of these stories. All of this stuff about how you’re not good enough for me. Although, if you really think about it…”

She trailed off to tease him. “Oh, fine. I’m not good enough for you? You see if you can find anyone else anywhere close to this good lookin’.”

“You’re more than just a pretty face, Han,” she said, mockingly cupping his chin in her hand.

“You sure about that? You know another thing about these stories? There’s always some guy coming and trying to steal you away from me. There’s never some gorgeous woman stepping in and trying to steal me from you.”

Leia did not look amused at the thought. “Oh, really? You want some gorgeous woman to come take you away from me? I’m sure at least a few of your old girlfriends meet your beauty standards, Solo.”

Han raised his hands up defensively. “Whoa, wait, that’s not what I meant.”

“Sure, maybe one of the taller ones, a little less plain-looking than I am with less ambition than I have so she can just follow you around and do whatever you ask of her.”

“How, exactly, did we get here?” Han asked.

“You’re the one who said-“

“Hold up, Princess. First of all, you are the most gorgeous woman I’ve ever known. Second of all, I chose you because you’re the one that... wait a second.”

She was trying and failing to hide the smile that was fighting to cross her lips. “What?” she asked, feigning innocence.

“Don’t turn this around on me, this is about you getting rid of me for some prince.”

“That doesn’t exist! But I just don’t understand why anyone would think I’d get rid of you for anyone.”

“And I wouldn’t do that, either. You shouldn’t have let me read that. Find me one of the ones where we have lots and lots of sex. Those are much more accurate anyway.”

“I don’t know,” Leia said. “I think some of these people give you a little too much credit.”

“I haven’t heard any complaints from you, sweetheart. Whadya say? Wanna ride my rancor?” He flashed her his lopsided grin and winked and he knew that he had her.

Smiling and shaking her head, she leaned in close, “Only if you promise to never refer to it that way again.”

“Deal.”

....and, the end. Seemed like the only appropriate way for it to end, right?

Friday, March 16, 2012

Joint Story, The Sequel: Chapter 4

Secret Marriage
Han Solo was a man that could recognize trouble when he saw it.  Some would say that was because he was trouble himself and it was easy to recognize one’s reflection in a mirror.  Whatever the case, there was trouble waiting for him on the tarmac as he brought the Falcon down for a gentle landing.  Trouble in all capital letters.  Trouble in a deceivingly little package and a deceptively beautiful disguise.
Chewie warfled something from the copilot’s seat.
“Yeah, I know.  I see her,” Han mumbled as he completed the landing and shutdown sequence.
Another questioning bark from Chewbacca and what could only be described as an amused chuckle.
“I don’t know.  Nothing that I can remember.  I’ve been off-planet for kriff’s sake,” he replied coming to his feet.  “What could I’ve done?”
Chewbacca voiced his opinion.
“Funny,” Han mumbled as he turned to exit the cockpit.  “I’ll go run interference.  You come right behind when you’re done and save me, alright?”
The Wookiee chortled his response as Han walked away.
“You know I don’t even have that many credits!” Came Han’s reply as he walked away.  “Besides, I always owe you.  Why don’t you just stop keeping count already?”
Chewbacca said something about owning the Falcon one day, but Han didn’t even bother to comment.  That’ll be the day!
**
She was waiting for him at the edge of the ramp as it touched down on the hangar floor.  Definitely not a good sign. 
“Hiya, Princess!  Ya missed me?”  He said, trying to keep things light.
“You could say that,” she replied, her tone serious.
That had not been the response he had been expecting.  Either she wanted something or he was in more trouble than he had originally feared.  Where the kriff is Chewie?  “Oh, yeah?”  He replied, guardedly.
“Can we talk?” She asked, motioning back toward the ship.
Dive for cover!  Han’s innate survival reflexes were firing up like a repeating blaster.  “Sure,” he replied calmly.  He wasn’t a champion Sabacc player for nothing.  He turned his body and held his hand up toward the ramp, inviting her inside.
She eyed him suspiciously as she walked by.  Han was sure she must be able to smell his fear.  He followed at a safe distance behind her and momentarily forgot his worries as he watched her retreating rear.
“Let me just warn you that I’m in no mood to joke about this,” she said as she turned around to face him.
Han had to lift his gaze up to her face and reorient himself to the problem at hand.  Quickly he scanned his recent memory for anything that he was supposed to know about or something that he might be able to tease her with and came up empty.  Okay,” he said slowly.  “Not joke about what, exactly?”
She began to dig in one of her pockets and again Han had to fight his ingrained response to pull his blaster on anyone that dug in their pockets during a standoff.  But Leia wouldn’t pull a blaster on him.  Any weapons she might have would be more damaging than any blaster, anyway.
“This,” she said, her voice almost a whisper and Han realized that she was upset.
He took the piece of flimsiplast and read it.  Once he realized what it was he read it again and then once more for good measure.  He understood what it meant.  He even figured out very quickly when it must’ve happened.  What he didn’t know was how to handle the situation with the awaiting Princess. 
His normal response would be to make light of it and possibly tease her about consummating the deal.  But he had already promised not to joke about it and as he glanced back up at her, he couldn’t help but notice how nervous she was.  It was one thing to dish it out when he knew for sure she could handle it, but this would be like kicking a baby bat-falcon out the nest.  He couldn’t remember ever seeing her looking so defenseless.  Does being married to me really freak her out that bad?
“Well,” she said and he looked back up at her.  “Say something,” she practically pleaded.
He looked back down at the piece of paper.  Now was not the time to select his response from his usual repertoire.  When had she ever asked me to say something and not shut up?  He thought he might want to actually try and make her not regret the unusual request.  “Well,” he started.  “It definitely looks like the real deal.”  Then looking back up at her, he said, “I’m guessing this is a little residual reminder from that botched mission on Atzerri?”  Botched mission?  Now, how was that for diplomacy?
He watched as Leia released a long breath, obviously relieved that he had not chosen the snide comments or innuendo that would be his norm.  “That’s a nice way to put it,” she replied.
“I did promise to be nice,” he said with a smile.  Seeing her relax brought the mischievousness out in him.  “Still,” he started, looking back down at the paper.  “That was before I realized that you were my property.”
“Your property?” She snapped and taking a step forward she snatched the flimsi from within his grasp.  “Why am I not surprised that you would have such a barbaric view of marriage?”
Her fuse was way shorter than normal, he realized.  Being Mrs. Solo sure didn’t set well with her.  She turned to walk past him and storm out of the ship, but he caught her by the arm.  “Calm down, Your Hotheadedness.  I was only joking!”
“Exactly!” She replied, yanking her arm free.  “Doing exactly what I asked you not to.  Exactly what you promised you wouldn’t!”
Her eyes shimmered with threatening tears.  She had swung so quickly from irate to distraught that he was momentarily stunned and then quickly felt guilty.  “Alright, alright,” he whispered, grabbing her at the shoulders gently and bending down slightly to get to eye level with her.  “I’m sorry.  I was just trying to lighten the mood.”
“I’m not in the mood to be lightened,” she replied exhaustedly as her shoulders slumped and her chin drooped.
“Okay,” he said straightening up.  “I realize that now.  This is nothing we can’t handle.  Nothing that can’t be undone,” he assured her.  Quickie divorces were just as easy to get as quickie marriages, if not just a little more expensive.  “We’ll just have to go back to Atzerri.”
“And how am I going to manage that?”  She asked.  “I can’t just disappear with you for no legitimate reason whatsoever.”
“You let me worry about that,” he said more confidently than he felt.
“But how-”
He pressed his finger on her lips.  “I don’t want you to worry about this.  I’m going to fix it.  Do you trust me to fix this?”  He asked, praying that she would say yes.  Of course, the fact that he had never told anyone about that botched mission to Atzerri in the first place had bolstered her opinion of him by several parsecs, he was sure.
She seemed to consider his words.  He could almost see her volleying back and forth between trusting him and opting for the title of widow instead.  Finally she nodded her head very slightly and he removed his finger from her lips.
“Good,” he said, taking the flimsi from her.  “Now, you go back and continue on about your business.”  He used his hands to turn her toward the ramp.  “Keep freedom free and justice just and all that.”
She turned as if to argue and he tightened his grip.
“Uh, uh, uh, no arguments,” he chided as he ushered her down the ramp.  “Just sit tight and I’ll figure everything out.”
Once she had stepped off the ramp and her feet hit the tarmac she turned around and looked at him.  “Fine,” she reluctantly conceded.  “But I didn’t expect you to figure it out by yourself.  I’ll see what I can do about getting us to Atzerri.  I should be able to pull some strings.”  She hesitated and then said, “I’ll probably regret saying this, but I feel better now knowing that we’ll figure this out together.  That I’m not all alone worried about this anymore.”  She hesitated again and said, “Thank you.”
“No need to thank me,” Han replied.  “Working together.  That’s what married people do, right?”  He immediately raised his hands up in surrender as her eyes lit with the fire of fury that he could so easily coax from her.  “Joking!” He said through a wide grin.
She glanced around to see who was near and when sufficiently satisfied that no one was in earshot, she took a step toward him and poked her finger in his chest as she said, “Listen to me and listen to me good, Solo.  Laugh all you want.  But if we don’t take care of this, you won’t have to worry about getting married or divorcing me because I’ll see to it that the galaxy is short by one smart-mouthed smuggler and believe me, no one will miss you!”
 “Yes, Your Highnessness,” he replied.  “I get the picture.”
She turned and walked toward the main corridor and he stood there and watched her for a while.  Then glancing down at the flimsi in his hands, he turned and went back up into his ship.
“Hey, Chewie,” he called and the Wookiee roared in reply and came ambling down the cockpit corridor.
Chewbacca started to say something smart about how Han was back in trouble with the Princess, but Han cut him off by stuffing the flimsiplast into the Wookiee’s hairy palm. 
“There,” he said brusquely.  “Consider our debts squared,” Han added as he walked past his copilot down the curved corridor. 
It was a bet they had made years ago when Han had been drunk and pining over the ever-unflappable princess.  Han laid claim that someday, she would be his wife.  Chewie had given him 100 to 1 odds and had gotten a belly ache from laughing at him.  “Who’s laughing now?” Han called back as he slipped into the cockpit. 

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

The Apocalypse.... Has Apocalypsed


I read it. In one day. That is probably the most reading I've ever done in one day and certainly the only time I've ever read an entire Star Wars book in a day with the exception of a couple of the short kiddie books. First, I was in the unique situation of not really having anything else to do yesterday. Normally I order my books on Amazon but for a new release the delivery is often unpredictable so I didn't want to risk not having the book in my hands as soon as possible. It was $13 more buying it at the store but at least I had a guarantee.

I started reading at about 9:30 in the morning and finished about 9:30 last night. There were a couple of breaks, but most of the time was spent reading. I should also add that I got a 50-page head start when I read - legally - the first few chapters online. I probably wouldn't have felt so compelled to get through it so fast if it weren't for the fact that I had decided not to go read all of the spoilers or skip to the end, so I actually had to read it in order to find out what happened. I didn't even do the usual flip-through to see just how many chapters Han and Leia were in. Okay, a couple of times if I'd have read like thirty pages they weren't in I'd skip ahead to see when they came back, but I wouldn't read what they were doing, just saw the names and went back to where I was.

I'm not going to do a full review as we do for the other books because, well, there's a lot of stuff in it that wouldn't make any sense unless you'd read the other books or we'd at least reviewed them and brought you up to date. And I think I understand why there weren't a lot of spoilers out there for this one. A lot happens but at the same time it's all quite complicated and can't really be explained quickly or easily like, "OMG, Vader is Luke's father!" Or, "OMG, Leia is having twins!" And again, if you are not up to date on these books, almost anything specific I tell you will probably just make you go, "Huh?"

I'll give you some general impressions, though. If you are looking it strictly as a Han and Leia fan it is slightly disappointing. They are great in the scenes they're in, acting how I'd expect them to act, bantering when appropriate, kicking ass in a fight and being grandparents. But they aren't in it a ton. And really they aren't particularly integral to the plot, so why should they have lots of scenes? It's like, they're in the middle of everything but they can't really do that much to help the overall situation. But let's be honest: they're old. They don't really have a role in anything anymore. Maybe it's finally time for them to just retire somewhere. It saddens me a bit to think that we could be done reading about them, but there just doesn't seem to be much else to say.

Aside from Han and Leia, there is a whole lot of intense stuff going on and I was very rarely bored while reading it. Yes, that includes the Luke parts. Maybe it helped that Jaina was quite often with Luke in this one, and she gets to be pretty bad-ass herself, but it's pretty good when I'm not falling asleep in the middle of a chapter wondering when we'll get to something good later. There are a lot of interesting revelations and, somewhat annoyingly, not all questions are answered.

I will say that all of the people we love survive the book. And while there is still some unrest in the galaxy, our people get a nice, happy ending. Troy treated our Han and Leia right, as usual, even if he wasn't given a lot of opportunity to do that much with them.

There's not much else to say about it. If you've been reading the series you will likely enjoy it and there were certainly moments where I was somewhat worried for what might happen. There's a little bit of closure at the end, but without really giving us any idea of what could happen next. And for the first time I think since I've started reading Star Wars books, I'm finishing one without any idea of when the next one might come out, because as far as I know, nothing has been announced. I don't know, guys, it might be time for them to pass the torch from the "big three" and continue the story mostly without them. Sad to say, but true.

Now you all know what a super-geek I am to read this whole book in one day. In spite of what you may now think of me, I'm sure you're glad that at least someone is willing to do that so you can know what's going on without actually having to read.

The biggest problem now is that after reading an actual good book containing some genuinely heart-pounding moments I now have to suffer through The Crystal Star. Crap.

Monday, March 12, 2012

"Canon" Things I Choose to Ignore

Han's hand is being very sneaky while Leia isn't looking...

We all have them. There are things that George has added to "enhance" the Star Wars universe to make it "better" except to most of us they do the exact opposite so we choose to completely ignore their existence. I find it funny how riled up we get when he changes things and makes them wrong, especially since as I've said before, this is a fantasy world and we can really all believe whatever we choose to believe. Most of these things are from the prequels and the books but some are definitely from changes he has made to the original trilogy. There is nothing in the original original trilogy that I do not see as absolute truth. But now a list of things I refuse to believe ever happened/existed:

1. Han not shooting first. We know he did. Obi Wan is allowed to chop a guy's arm off after a little shoving match but Han can't blast Greedo before he knows he's about to be blown away? It's been said before and I'll say it again: Han shot first.

2. Midichlorians. Even in my first, naively hopeful viewing of Episode I, I came awfully close to audibly groaning at the thought that you could measure Force sensitivity by some sort of micro-organisms floating around in your blood that some people have and some people don't. It should be mysterious and undetectable, just an innate ability. Not any additional crap in your blood stream. So to me, they do not exist.

3. Luke and Leia's mother died in childbirth because she "lost the will to live." Sure, Leia totally got her incredible strength from a woman who gives up and lets herself die for no reason just because a man left her, even though she now has two children. I'd be fine if she had died in childbirth of actual medical complications, but this is ridiculous. Although to be honest I still can't decide if I like the childbirth thing better or the idea that Leia actually does remember her a little, and her dying.

4. Bria. Nope. She never existed. Han had some women, you know he did. But in my own head he was never even close to being in love before he met Leia.

5. Anakin and Jacen's deaths. Han and Leia's children live long, long lives and they don't have to witness anything but their weddings, children, triumphs, etc.

6. To go along with the above, Jacen turning to the dark side. He instead grows up to be a pretty decent guy.

7. Almost anything that has to do with COPL. Han and Leia do not wait four years to get married. No prince shows up, Leia doesn't almost fall in love with someone else or treat Han like crap. Just... no.

8. Han and Leia not raising their own kids. I'm not going to get into a debate here about how many kids they have, whether it's twins, whether Leia would name one Anakin because for whatever reason those particular facts don't bother me like they bother a lot of other people. But, whatever children they have, they make every effort to be parents to without having someone else raise them.

9. Similar to #8, sending their children off to some remote planet for the first two years of their lives. That's just insanity.

10. Ewoks blinking.

11. Darth Vader screaming, "Nooooooo!!!!!" He does not do that ever, in any of the movies, for any reason.

12. Leia totally immersing herself in work and ignoring her family. She works, sure, but she has plenty of time to be a wife and mother.

13. Han and Leia spending most of their time apart. In my eyes, they actually spend the majority of their time together after marriage. And before, really.

14. Luke falling in love with a woman inside a computer.

15. Mara getting killed. I know, why should I care? But come on, as much as Han and Leia didn't deserve for their children to get killed, Luke didn't deserve to lose his wife, either.

16. Luke and Leia's parents having a ridiculously cheesy "romance" and spouting off nauseating lines to each other such as, "Your beauty is intoxicating." Yuck.

17. The existence of Jar Jar Binks.

18. Qui Gon Jinn teaching Obi Wan. Seriously, didn't Yoda say he taught Obi Wan? Why did all of these things get changed?

19. Chewie's death.

20. Anything else bad that happens to any of them.

Please add on if you see fit to do so. I'm sure there are more things that we all like to think never "actually" happened.

Sunday, March 11, 2012

Planet of Twilight: The Review


Push asked me before we started reading this book if I remembered if it was any good or not. I'm assuming that I, like most of you being Han and Leia fans, remember pretty much exactly one specific thing about it. We'll get to that, though.

The book was written by Barbara Hambly, who you all of course remember from our recent review of Children of the Jedi. So given the wonderful Han and Leia moments we got from that one, there was some hope we'd see more of the same here. Unfortunately, that's kind of difficult when they pretty much never see each other in the entire book.

We begin with Leia, who has gone to meet with Seti Ashgad, the leader of the Rationalist Party. I don't know, already that doesn't sound too good. This guy holds no official position with Nam Chorios, who he has his own strong opinions on, but that doesn't stop him from acting on their behalf. I'm sorry, mostly I just get distracted while reading this because all I can think about are Cheerios. Anyway, he wants technology and to trade with the New Republic even though the planet is quite devoid of technology and most of its inhabitants like it that way.

The talks are difficult and it shows Leia's growth as a politician as they are arguing for something that fundamentally seems right, but the people just don't want it. It causes Leia to remember an incident from when she had been much younger:

Leia straightened her shoulders under the velvet weight of her robe, seeing, in the flare of Ashgad's anger, the reflection of what her own reactions would have been at eighteen. But it shouldn't be that way-She remembered crying to her father, when after a complicated and emotional court case concerning vampiric Garhoons and their prey, the prey had elected to return to their vampires. It had taken her a long time to understand and respect her father's decision to pursue the matter no further.

I can see Leia having gone through something like that and having a hard time understanding that there were some things you just couldn't fix, because no matter how wrong you thought they were, sometimes people just didn't want them fixed. Poor Leia, always looking out for others and sometimes they don't even want her help!

Luke gets a message from Callista, who he is still pining for on a nauseating level, that is a warning about not going to the Meridian Sector, which just happens to be where Leia is. He hurt with wanting her. Missing her. Needing her. Gag. Was Callista ever given an actual personality or was it just that she had the Force and was female that attracted him to her? I'm so glad that Han and Leia were never that mushy. In spite of the warning not to go near there, Luke decides to go to Nam Chorios to find Callista.

He says his goodbyes to Leia, and says something about how he needs Callista, I don't know, I almost puked again, and they briefly discuss that there is some leak getting information out from the New Republic and the Moffs, which obviously has to stop. Then he gets annoying and tells Leia how she has to keep up with her lightsaber practice. Seriously, if my brother ever tried to boss me around like that I would not be happy! She just kind of brushes it off by saying mockingly, "To hear is to obey, Master." It's a good thing she was joking. In spite of her joking, she does feel guilty that she hasn't been training.

For some reason Leia gets called Her Excellency all the time in this book, including by Threepio, who encounters her when she finally settles into her office and suddenly doesn't feel very well. She basically passes out and Ashgad kidnaps her. Well, things aren't looking good for Leia to start this one off. Even worse, the entire crew of her ship is killed by the Death Seed plague, and poor Artoo and Threepio are left on board with a bunch of corpses.

Leia realizes she is dreaming, and she is back on Alderaan, showing her children to her father, Bail. They're teenagers in the dream in spite of the fact that they are still quite young in reality. Bail tells her that she has done well and she tells him how she has taught them justice, but Anakin says, "But we know better." They talk of how being Jedi gives them power, and he slices Bail in half.

"We're Jedi, Mother," Jaina said. "There's no Law for us. We can do whatever we want."

Anakin said, "That's your gift to us. We're Jedi because you're Jedi, too. We are what you are." He turned to look back at the pieces of Bail Organa's body, the eyes open and staring in shock, the outstretched hand with its golden ring. "And anyway he wasn't really your father."


Well, that was a pretty rough nightmare, wasn't it? She then hears a voice telling her that she has to learn to use the Force. Basically she fears that if she doesn't learn to use the Force, then she can't be an adequate role model for her children and they could wind up misguided or, in this case, murderous Sith. She awakens feeling as though she was drugged and then as she is lying on a divan she is approached by Dzym, who was with Ashgad, and he steps forward and drugs her with something else. She feels as though she's dying, and thinks of Han and then... she's out again.

Later, after Luke feels the deaths of so many from the Death Seed but feels Leia is still alive, Leia awakens again, still on the divan, but this time it has been moved out to a terrace. Now, I think I've mentioned this before but I find it kind of humorous the differences between what tends to happen to Han when he is captured and what happens to Leia. Han is usually thrown in a cold, dank, empty cell usually after being beaten or tortured or some combination. Leia, as evidenced in this case, is held captive in what seems like a quaint inn or something, given a comfortable place to sleep and even a terrace. Plus, she practically has servants.

She is given some water by Ashgad's pilot, Liegeus Vorn, who actually treats her pretty nicely and also refers to her as Her Excellency. That title just makes me shiver because it's like making Leia the new Emperor and I don't like it.

Han, she thought. Han will be worried sick. The children...
Yep, that is definitely true. Or I think it is, because it takes a really long time for Han to make an appearance in this book.

Finally, like eighty pages in, we see Han. He has a bunch of messages from Leia marked urgent and he thinks to himself he hopes they might read: DON'T WORRY ABOUT A THING, WE'RE 50 HOURS LATE BECAUSE THE ENTIRE DIPLOMATIC MISSION JUST STOPPED OFF ON CYBLOC XI1 SO I COULD BUY MYSELF A PAIR OF SHOES. HOME SOON. LOVE, L. I thought that was very cute and I could see them sometimes sort of poking fun at their importance and how they could make ridiculous requests if they wanted to, but of course they probably don't.

Han knows that Leia is incredibly late. Of course this worries him tremendously, much different from when she experienced the same thing and just assumed he was being irresponsible. In a way this sets a nice little scene because Han is outside his house and the kids are swimming with Winter and even Chewie. Apparently Jaina has taken a liking to braiding random sections of Chewie's fur. The only downside to this is that they're swimming with Winter. The whole description of their house is quite nice, like some rustic design and the pool but at the same time it feels like where they live is described very differently throughout these books. Whatever it really is, I do like this particular version of their home.

This little family scene is interrupted when Mon Mothma comes to visit and tell Han that everyone on Leia's mission has disappeared. This whole thing is kind of weird because it describes in great length how Han has always been in awe of her and how beautiful she is. I just don't recall any other instance in which Han held that high regard for her. Not that I don't think he at least respects her on some level, but given what she put him through in the past I just don't think he would think of her like that.

But you forget about that quick because in this passage, Han is thinking about how Winter had taken the children up to the nursery and it makes him think this: Han remembered with a sudden pang making love to Leia on the rug of milk-white stohl fur, the night before her departure. I'm pretty sure I read that at least five times when I came across it the first time I read this book as a teenager. So they do have sex sometimes! It's a miracle! Also, for those of you who are reading and don't seem to be paying attention to these challenges anymore, that is definitely a great opportunity for a missing moment!

Anyway, Han finds out about the plague and of course is deathly afraid that Leia also contracted it. He obviously decides that he is going right out to try and find her. So we get this:

Thinking about Leia.

Five years since they'd married. Thirteen since they'd met, in the Death Star's corridors with blaster fire zapping around them. If he couldn't find her...

There was no conclusion to that sentence. No conclusion to the thought. Only a darkness as deep as the nightmare of disorientation in realtime space, with no starcharts, no navicomputer, no spectroscope, no clue as to which of those tiny, infinitely distant lights to aim for.


This is definitely a man who loves his wife. Don't worry, Han, she'll be okay. Speaking of Leia, she is of course still being held prisoner. But she gets her terrace and a bed with a nice quilt and plenty of sunlight. The downside is that they are trying to drug her with sweetblossom, but she figures out that they are putting it in her water so whenever they bring it to her she winds up secretly dumping it all out so they think she's still drugged. This leaves her pretty dehydrated but at least her head is somewhat clear. Also, she discovers she has her lightsaber. It all just seems to be another way to make her think about how she needs to prioritize her Jedi training, not only for herself, but for her children.

Han, Lando and Chewie are on their way to try and find her. Han whispers to himself, "Hang on, Leia. Don't check out on me now." Then: She couldn't die, he thought. He had literally no idea-none-of what he would do, what would become of him, if she should die.

He couldn't imagine life without her.


You think maybe he misses her and desperately wants to save her? I think so, too.

Liegeus is taking a liking to Leia and often is talking with her. He tells her he has the ability to manipulate holo images from others on record to make them say whatever he wants, basically. He asks Leia if she wants him to show her something of her husband or children, but Leia decides it would hurt too much. Aw.

Han, Lando and Chewie had encountered a whole bunch of people with severe radiation sickness who they had to hurry to get to some medical attention. Han spent some frantic time looking at everyone to make sure that no one among the dead was Leia. There's a bunch of craziness and a lot of the time we're stuck with Threepio and Artoo who are desperately trying to get to anyone to tell them who Leia was kidnapped by so they can save her, and they actually get close to Han in the midst of battle but he takes off before they can get to him, never having seen them.

Leia is working on an escape with the help of Liegeus, who doesn't exactly lead her out, but he changes door security and tells her what's going on so she can do what she needs to do. And Leia is still thinking a lot about her possible path as a Jedi:

The shadows of the future she feared, when Anakin, Jacen, Jaina-those three incalculable fragments of her body and her life came to the age when they would choose either the light or the dark.


Scary things to consider, for sure, and certainly something she'd have to give a lot of consideration to. It kind of sucks to be her, so much responsibility! The only thing that kind of annoys me is that she never really seems to think about the fact that she misses her kids, but maybe we are just supposed to assume that's obvious. While she is attempting to escape she winds up getting attacked by parasites or something and she feels like she is dying, to the point she'd almost rather die.

She basically winds up an exhausted, bleeding mess. She's dehydrated from dumping all that drugged water, although Liegeus had at least brought her a couple that were clean so she's not on the edge of death, and she has to find her way through the planet and scale walls and is just in pretty rough shape. At one of her weakest moments she suddenly realizes she's approaching someone and worries she'll have to fight but it turns out to be Callista, which is a great relief.

Callista is a lot like Luke in that she seems to patronize Leia with her all-knowing Jedi knowledge. I'm not saying she doesn't have a point sometimes, but it would get tiresome to have people talk to you like this all the time:

"I've seen how hard you try to teach Jacen and Jaina to listen to their own hearts, to have a sense of fairness, of justice. So they won't be pawns. So they won't be twisted.

"But for a long time they'll be weak, because they're children, and it's easy to influence children by love and hate and lies."...

...""I want them to be happy," she said, and leaned her cheek on the wind-scoured metal of the beam. "I want them to be children, to have the birthright of their innocence. But at the same time, I know they can't just follow any path they want. With their powers in the Force, i have to teach them to distinguish lies from truth, to seek justice the way my father... the way Bail Organa sought justice. I have to... to protect the next generation from them. The way I have to protect the present generation from myself."


To go along with all of this Jedi contemplation, Leia has a vision where she encounters two images of herself: one, herself as the slave girl from Jabba's palace in that infamous bikini, and the other herself basically as an evil Empress, her own children behind her almost Sith-like, though much older. She is told she must draw her lightsaber and give it to one of them, the Empress being quite authoritative and the slave acting completely hopeless, basically just curled up on the ground and weeping. Basically this is her own version of the cave Luke went into on Dagobah. And she realizes that she doesn't have to give it to anyone, rather she can do with it what she chooses.

I don't really understand why Callista is suddenly as masterful as Yoda in teaching the Force, but whatever. They spend some time sparring and Callista shares more of her infinite wisdom when Leia expresses her fears of hurting someone she shouldn't hurt.

"I don't want to be another..." The words froze in her throat.

"Another Palpatine?" asked Callista. "Another Vader? You aren't. You're not even another Bail Organa. You're Leia."


These are definitely profound statements but for some reason it bothers me that it is Callista who is saying all of these things. Why is Luke's girlfriend smarter than everyone? Anyway, Han and Lando are still in the midst of some crazy battle and Luke had actually come across Liegeus who tells him of Leia and who apparently even knew Callista. Luke and Leia eventually find each other, Leia being a complete mess still.

They encounter Beldorian, who I should've mentioned earlier as one of Leia's captors, a Hutt with Force sensitivity and a lightsaber, and they wind up in a duel. Leia vs. Hutt in a lightsaber duel? It is mentioned that the guy is much trimmer than Jabba, but still. Leia being the bad-ass that she is, slices him in half, bringing her track record with the Hutts to Leia: 2, Hutts: 0. She sure does know how to kill those guys. It is her first lightsaber victory and she considers it a huge one.

Somewhere else in the midst of all of this craziness, Threepio and Artoo - and eventually Han - find Admiral Daala. I believe she was previously presumed dead, having thought to be sucked into the Maw, but she escaped. She actually stepped in to help Han and instigates some negotiations between her people and the New Republic. But, good news: Han and Leia are finally reunited! Just in time for the end of the book!

Battered, dusty, blotched with grime and smoke and blood, Han realized it was Luke and Leia. Leia cried, "Han!" and threw herself into his arms, crushed against him, face pressed to his shirt and leaving an enormous smutch of slime-dried dust there. Looking down into her face, he realized that he himself was unshaven and smutted with soot from that last burn-through of the defensive shielding that had almost accounted for the Falcon in the last moments before Daala and her fleet had made their appearance.

"Leia!" They were hugging like schoolkids, rocking in each other's arms-Han felt an idiotic urge to whirl her in his arms and dance.


Well, at least it was a nice little reunion. I can definitely see Leia "flinging" herself into his arms under these circumstances. Also weird in this situation is that Daala and Liegeus meet and apparently they had a little somethin' goin' on way back when and are quite happy to see each other. Luke once again has to come to terms with not being with Callista - hopefully for the last time, and we are left with one final little notable Han and Leia moment:

Leia sighed and laid her head against his shoulder, weary beyond words. "I guess we will." His arms were around her, strong and rock hard under the rough linen of his shirt. He smelled of salt sweat and burned insulation; his chin was sandpaper against her temple and his breath living warmth on her skin. She wanted more than anything simply to remain there, and drift into sleep.

I definitely enjoy little moments like that, implying that basically she is completely comfortable and safe just being there with him, which is nice.

And basically, that's it. All right, a lot of other random stuff happened with Luke and his looking for Callista and stuff, and Han and Lando and Chewie and their battles and whatever, but I just don't have the attention span to get into it or summarize because frankly, I didn't care as I was reading it so I doubt you all care for me to write it up here, even shortened up.

This book just doesn't have the "fun" that it seems like a Star Wars book should have. there is very little humor, and a lot of non-action and long stretches where I was just bored. Do we really need entire chapters of just Artoo and Threepio? Maybe some people enjoy that, and I suppose there was a touch of humor there, but really, that just doesn't do it for me.

As for good things, again the decisions Leia faces as far as her Jedi path and training partly for the sake of her children are certainly apt and I think that at least makes things a bit more interesting from a character growth perspective. The poor woman just has so much to deal with! Also, as mentioned above, I did like the little family scene of them all at their house by the pool... except of course that it was Winter there instead of Leia. I'd also like to mention I'm thankful we've done away with Callista.

As for just Han and Leia in general, it's obviously nice to see that Han will stop at nothing to save her, and she thinks of him fairly often, knowing he'll be looking for her and even at times worries he also may have been a victim of the plague. Poor Han having to wonder what he'd do without her. And once again, you really can't top a memory of him making love to Leia on a white fur rug. You all get to work on how that one happened, won't you? I do know of one story that fills in this blank and also includes the pool...

So, what the heck do I give it for a Han and Leia factor? I guess a 3, only because of some very specific references and the fact that they definitely worry about one another and we are given some hard evidence that they care for each other deeply. But, well, once again they're only together for a couple of pages, which is incredibly annoying. I will also say though that it would've been nice to hear them talk about their kids. It's like in a sitcom when a new baby comes along and yet conveniently the kid just hardly ever makes an appearance. It's really almost like they don't even have them. I guess aside from the fact that Leia is stuck having horrible visions of her children becoming Sith.

I definitely wouldn't run out and buy this one. Just re-read the good parts I pointed out and you're not missing much.

Also, as a reminder, there will be no EU book club review next Sunday as your blog hosts will be consumed with reading Apocalypse. This little EU book club break may extend another week, depending on how long we take to get through it. We must give ourselves adequate time to get through it without feeling like we are under a dealine and apparently this bad boy is 500 pages. Don't worry, The Crystal Star is next anyway and any of you who have read that one know that there is no rush to get to that weirdness.