Wednesday, March 7, 2012

Han and Leia Discover COPL: Part One

“Han, get in here!” Leia yelled alarmingly from the bedroom she shared with her husband.

He had been lounging on the couch, watching a smashball game, but he was on his feet and in the bedroom almost before Leia finished her sentence. “What is it? Are you all right?” he asked from the doorway.

Her eyes that had been on the datapad in her lap turned to focus on him and he felt the air leave his lungs in relief when he realized she wasn’t in danger. “I need you to come look at something,” she said as she gestured for him to come sit next to her.

“Sweetheart, don’t scare me like that. I thought something awful had happened to you,” he said as he walked to the side of the bed and plopped down next to her, leaning up against the pillows behind his back.

“I’m sorry,” she replied, placing a gentle, reassuring hand on his knee. “It’s just that I read something that I found quite upsetting.”

“What is it?”

She handed him the datapad. “Just read this. You know how sometimes people have taken it upon themselves to write stories about our lives?”

Han rolled his eyes. “Not another one. I told you to stop reading those things!”

“I know, I know, but it’s too late now, the damage is done.”

“So what is it this time? I hope it’s another one where we spend the whole trip to Bespin just gettin’ it on for weeks on end.”

She gave a quick backhand against his chest. “No, nerf herder, it is not one of those. This one is about how we got married.”

“That doesn’t sound so bad. Wait, in this one are we forced to consummate the marriage right there at the altar?”

“No! It’s just… well, the whole thing is absurd. You have to just read it and see. Gods, I hope nobody thinks I would actually act that way.”

“What way?”

“Just read it.”

Han sighed and began reading while Leia rested her head on his shoulder. She had no idea how much time had passed when she felt Han stir and heard him grumbling something that ended in, “…load of garbage!”

Lifting her head to look at him, she said, “Did you finish it?”

“Yeah, I finished it,” Han said angrily.


He looked down at her with his brow furrowed. “And? And I can’t believe anyone could ever think that we would act like this!”

“I know, right?” Leia replied, relieved to find that Han was equally appalled.

“Leia, please tell me that if for some reason a prince had shown up to marry you before you married me, you wouldn’t have considered it.”

“Oh, gods, no!” she replied without hesitation. “I may have given up a lot for the Rebellion and the New Republic, but there is no way I would ever give up the love of my life,” she said before she wrapped her arms around him.

“Not even for some tall, buff prince with long, blond hair and piercing gray eyes?”

She sat up to look him in the eye, shaking her head. “Never.” She ran her fingers through his slightly messy hair. “I like dark hair, hazel eyes, this nose…” she said before she kissed the tip.

“All right, all right. You made your point. I don’t think I would’ve been able to marry you if you had treated me like this, even if you did pick me in the end.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean it’s like you didn’t even care how I felt in this situation. Like I should just sit back and let you do whatever you had to do and it was almost as though you were yelling at me for loving you.”

“You know I would never do that to you. But what about you?”

“What about me?”

“Well, you weren’t exactly perfect in this crazy thing, either. I mean, would you ever really think you could entice me with a planet or money”

“I figured you knew from the beginning that you weren’t going to be marrying me for my vast wealth.”

“Well, this thing makes it seem like you think I’m incredibly shallow.”

“Yeah? Well, in this thing you are incredibly shallow! You go off and kiss the guy once and suddenly it’s like you forget I even exist and want to tell him you love him?”

“Don’t get mad at me like this is something I actually did to you!”

“Sorry, sorry,” Han said, his voice calming. “It gets me all worked up even just to read about you with some other guy.”

“Well, I wasn’t so thrilled about the idea of you locking me in a storage compartment on the Falcon. Kidnapping?”

“Yeah, who’d think I’d be crazy enough to kidnap you like that? I do want to try and get my hands on that gun of command, though, that sounds fun. I’m surprised that this version of you didn’t let Chewie beat the hell out of me. Seemed like you didn’t care too much about me.”


  1. Very cute story. It's kinda like therapy for the COPL distress disorder. Current background picture....... I can't say what is in my head, my kid checks up on me on this blog........ but I did notice the hint of a tan line at the top of his thigh.

  2. Aww, it's great that you decided to do the story that I suggested for the joint story as a separate story anyway. Thanks!

    I really love how Han and Leia are clearly very well versed in the world of fan fic, about them!!! Han's comment about the flight to Bespin stories made me laugh out loud.

    Seams2be is right, it is like a therapy for COPL. There's something so satisfying about hearing them address the same issues we have with the book.

    I especially liked Leia comparing Han to Isolder, and of course Han being the one for her, messy hair and all!

    Looking forward to seeing where this one goes. Thanks for bringing a smile to my face after hours of stress when I lost EVERYTHING on my iPad and had to start from scratch. I'm going to back it up this time.

  3. There's a story on the blog today? I'm still staring at this background pic.

    [Wipes drool from keyboard]

  4. That was awesome! Haha, I often imagine what Han and Leia would think if they were reading fan fiction and the EU... now I know. I really love how Han gets all jealous and annoyed just thinking about Leia and Isoldur.

    Are you guys writing more of this? It's great!!!!

    As for the background picture... [golddragon picks up jaw from keyboard, and checks that her mum isn't about to walk into the room]

  5. This was too funny and such a surprise. Very cool you are working on second story.

    I loved how Han had told her to stop reading "those things," i.e. fanfic. But poor Han thinking Leia would ever act that way. Felt so bad at the end when he says it seems like she didn't care too much about him. Hope she proves him wrong. ;)

    Picking up jaw over background pic. Can't believe you all went there. Nice. Such a great picture. How does Leia ever make it out of the bedroom?

  6. Thanks, guys. I actually found this and forgot I'd even written it and Push made me publish it :) It's part one because as of now there is no part 2 but I'll get there.

    Man, we are losing you guys, huh? Where did everyone go?

  7. I think it's been fairly quiet this week because no one can really find anything to say about Darksaber, cos basically it's just a huge pile of crap. Not many people commented on that review.

    Last week we had COTJ and that is in a totally different league, so it sparked a lot more interest I think.

  8. Hah! I'm sure they would be appalled by that heap of trash. I like how riled up it gets Han. I know how you feel, buddy. :P

    I just need to say, I 110% approve of this background...

  9. This is awesome :D I agree on their reaction to it
    (I've read COPL myself and still can't believe that some people actually like it...)

    1. Yes people really do love this book. If you fancy a good laugh go to and look it up, click on "newest reviews first" and read the most recent one posted last month. Absolutely unbelievable.

  10. I like how they're arguing about who would be hurt more. The book makes me mad just thinking about it and I much prefer to ignore it, but their reactions are perfect. Let's just stick with the idea that it was really bad bad fanfiction!

  11. GAH! I went out-of-town unexpectedly and totally fell behind on blog comments!

    First, we've got 40 followers now! It's gotta be the scantily clad pics of Harrison in the background, so I've posted another... Maybe we'll double our followers this way!

    Second, when Zyra showed me this (above) I totally forced her to publish it. God knows how much stuff that girl is sitting on and doesn't publish! I laughed the entire time I read it. I loved that Han loved the Bespin stories and that they both seemed well-versed on some of the odd things that writers have had them endure...

    Great job, Zyra! And you HAVE to finish Part Two!!!!