This post originally appeared HERE on March 12, 2012
We all have them. There are things that George has added to "enhance" the Star Wars universe to make it "better" except to most of us they do the exact opposite so we choose to completely ignore their existence. I find it funny how riled up we get when he changes things and makes them wrong, especially since as I've said before, this is a fantasy world and we can really all believe whatever we choose to believe. Most of these things are from the prequels and the books but some are definitely from changes he has made to the original trilogy. There is nothing in the original original trilogy that I do not see as absolute truth. But now a list of things I refuse to believe ever happened/existed:
1. Han not shooting first. We know he did. Obi Wan is allowed to chop a guy's arm off after a little shoving match but Han can't blast Greedo before he knows he's about to be blown away? It's been said before and I'll say it again: Han shot first.
2. Midichlorians. Even in my first, naively hopeful viewing of Episode I, I came awfully close to audibly groaning at the thought that you could measure Force sensitivity by some sort of micro-organisms floating around in your blood that some people have and some people don't. It should be mysterious and undetectable, just an innate ability. Not any additional crap in your blood stream. So to me, they do not exist.
3. Luke and Leia's mother died in childbirth because she "lost the will to live." Sure, Leia totally got her incredible strength from a woman who gives up and lets herself die for no reason just because a man left her, even though she now has two children. I'd be fine if she had died in childbirth of actual medical complications, but this is ridiculous. Although to be honest I still can't decide if I like the childbirth thing better or the idea that Leia actually does remember her a little, and her dying.
4. Bria. Nope. She never existed. Han had some women, you know he did. But in my own head he was never even close to being in love before he met Leia.
5. Anakin and Jacen's deaths. Han and Leia's children live long, long lives and they don't have to witness anything but their weddings, children, triumphs, etc.
6. To go along with the above, Jacen turning to the dark side. He instead grows up to be a pretty decent guy.
7. Almost anything that has to do with COPL. Han and Leia do not wait four years to get married. No prince shows up, Leia doesn't almost fall in love with someone else or treat Han like crap. Just... no.
8. Han and Leia not raising their own kids. I'm not going to get into a debate here about how many kids they have, whether it's twins, whether Leia would name one Anakin because for whatever reason those particular facts don't bother me like they bother a lot of other people. But, whatever children they have, they make every effort to be parents to without having someone else raise them.
9. Similar to #8, sending their children off to some remote planet for the first two years of their lives. That's just insanity.
10. Ewoks blinking.
11. Darth Vader screaming, "Nooooooo!!!!!" He does not do that ever, in any of the movies, for any reason.
12. Leia totally immersing herself in work and ignoring her family. She works, sure, but she has plenty of time to be a wife and mother.
13. Han and Leia spending most of their time apart. In my eyes, they actually spend the majority of their time together after marriage. And before, really.
14. Luke falling in love with a woman inside a computer.
15. Mara getting killed. I know, why should I care? But come on, as much as Han and Leia didn't deserve for their children to get killed, Luke didn't deserve to lose his wife, either.
16. Luke and Leia's parents having a ridiculously cheesy "romance" and spouting off nauseating lines to each other such as, "Your beauty is intoxicating." Yuck.
17. The existence of Jar Jar Binks.
18. Qui Gon Jinn teaching Obi Wan. Seriously, didn't Yoda say he taught Obi Wan? Why did all of these things get changed?
19. Chewie's death.
20. Anything else bad that happens to any of them.
Please add on if you see fit to do so. I'm sure there are more things that we all like to think never "actually" happened.
Obviously there are FAR too many things that are now "canon" that I am choosing to ignore, I think it would take up too much time for me to type them all up.