Saturday, March 17, 2012

Han and Leia Discover COPL: Part 2

All right, admittedly I just kind of dashed this off as there wasn't a lot left to say, but, well, I like writing Han and Leia dialogue so like usual I probably made it go on for way too long...

“If you’d kidnapped me and shoved me in some closet I probably would have let Chewie beat you.”

“Sure, why not? You already couldn’t have cared less about me.”

“You know that never would’ve happened. Nobody in the universe could suddenly come into my life and make me stop caring about you.”

“Yeah, yeah. At least in the end you decided you still loved me. You know, as long as I was going off to die.”

“There was at least one accurate thing there. I do like the way your pants fit,” she said with a smile as she slid her hand up his thigh.

“Yeah, of all the last things to say to me before I die. Seems to be a theme with you. Can’t tell me you love me until I go into carbonite, can’t admit you’d rather have me than a prince until I’m about to die a suicide bomber…”

“I wouldn’t talk. You’re the one who couldn’t tell me you loved me until after I saved your life… again.”

“Whatever. You know, you could’ve at least given me some farewell sex. Sounds like it was a pretty good kiss, but come on, a noble sacrifice deserves one last intense round of lovin’.”

“If we’d started that you probably would’ve been late for your surrender. Tell me, Han, have you ever actually solicited Threepio for relationship advice?”

“Seriously? I don’t even like asking that damn droid to help me with things he’s actually programmed to do. You want me to start singin’ that song for you? What a man…”

She brought her hand up to cover his mouth. “Don’t ever try and sing anything like that again. I have to admit, I sort of enjoy the idea of a female dominated planet.”

“Honey, this house seems pretty female dominated to me. Minus the witch stuff and the poking me in the crotch with a stick.”

“We can add that to some role-playing later if you’re interested, flyboy.”

He pretended to consider it. “Normally I don’t mind anything you do to my crotch but maybe we can leave the prodding out of it.”

Leia smiled and then thought about the story once again. “You know what else bothers me? The idea that we waited four years after the battle of Endor to get married. If you hadn’t proposed to me in that amount of time, maybe I actually would’ve gone and found some prince somewhere.”

“Well, it didn’t say why. Maybe it was your fault.”

“My fault? Why would I have wanted to wait?”

“Maybe you had no intention of ever marrying me. It was just something to do that would be fun while it lasted.”

“Well, that’s just silly. I knew there was no way I was going to let you go.”

“Yeah, well maybe you were worried about what other people might think if you married a smuggler.”

“You know, I really hate that angle in so many of these stories. All of this stuff about how you’re not good enough for me. Although, if you really think about it…”

She trailed off to tease him. “Oh, fine. I’m not good enough for you? You see if you can find anyone else anywhere close to this good lookin’.”

“You’re more than just a pretty face, Han,” she said, mockingly cupping his chin in her hand.

“You sure about that? You know another thing about these stories? There’s always some guy coming and trying to steal you away from me. There’s never some gorgeous woman stepping in and trying to steal me from you.”

Leia did not look amused at the thought. “Oh, really? You want some gorgeous woman to come take you away from me? I’m sure at least a few of your old girlfriends meet your beauty standards, Solo.”

Han raised his hands up defensively. “Whoa, wait, that’s not what I meant.”

“Sure, maybe one of the taller ones, a little less plain-looking than I am with less ambition than I have so she can just follow you around and do whatever you ask of her.”

“How, exactly, did we get here?” Han asked.

“You’re the one who said-“

“Hold up, Princess. First of all, you are the most gorgeous woman I’ve ever known. Second of all, I chose you because you’re the one that... wait a second.”

She was trying and failing to hide the smile that was fighting to cross her lips. “What?” she asked, feigning innocence.

“Don’t turn this around on me, this is about you getting rid of me for some prince.”

“That doesn’t exist! But I just don’t understand why anyone would think I’d get rid of you for anyone.”

“And I wouldn’t do that, either. You shouldn’t have let me read that. Find me one of the ones where we have lots and lots of sex. Those are much more accurate anyway.”

“I don’t know,” Leia said. “I think some of these people give you a little too much credit.”

“I haven’t heard any complaints from you, sweetheart. Whadya say? Wanna ride my rancor?” He flashed her his lopsided grin and winked and he knew that he had her.

Smiling and shaking her head, she leaned in close, “Only if you promise to never refer to it that way again.”


....and, the end. Seemed like the only appropriate way for it to end, right?


  1. Too cute! I liked it was mostly dialogue. That was kind of neat. Like the part about riding his rancor. Funny.

    More stories about women trying to steal Han away might be intriguing.

  2. This was so good. I loved the way they kept trying to blame each other for a story we all know didn't happen. Just proves they can banter about anything. Great job.

  3. Hmmmm more women trying to steal Han. Interesting.

    Loved the banter. Liked that Leia is surprised that anyone would even imagine her leaving Han.

    Great job. Thanks so much for sharing your hard work. It is sure appreciated.

  4. Yay, you finished it!! And yes, that is the perfect ending.

    The banter is spot on, you really know how to write their dialogue. I always liked that Ride my Rancor line, so I like how you used it here.

    Other women trying to steal Han away just wouldn't happen because Leia would just deck them, like she did in Shadows of Mindor!

    Leia thinks we give Han too much credit in the bedroom....really Leia, you mean he isn't a super sex stud? LOL!

    This was great fun Zyra!!

    1. She only likes to tease him about that because obviously she is in total agreement with us on the bedroom front ;)

      Thanks, glad you liked it! Enjoy it while you can because I have had zero ideas for a long time now.

  5. Wonderful Job! Man, I think I tried to forget about Han asking Threepio for advice...and that song... OMG. Will the horribleness of that book ever end? At least you gave us (and Han/Leia) a good laugh over it.

  6. Agh, I always forget about the whole deal with Threepio. Yikes.

    "You could've at least given me some farewell sex." Hah! Though that gave me a weird visual of a strapped Han on top of...yeah, no.

    I loved the ending, thank you for the laugh. :)