We are pleased to once again welcome Han Solo to the blog!
It's been a while since I've been around here, but apparently there's been even more discussion about my sex life. I thought we had basically cleared it all up when I showed up here before, or when Leia decided to share some of my finer qualities, but I guess you guys need some other things to talk about.
Me and Leia have been together for 25 years now (don't let anyone tell you any different) and yeah, things have changed and evolved over the years for sure. I'm not a kid anymore, but as our now mostly grown up kids will tell you, we are pretty much still just as into each other as we've ever been. I do have to say, I wouldn't want things any other way.
We all know I was, well, experienced by the time I met Leia. I mean, I think any guy in my situation, flying all over the galaxy and spending time in some of the seedier places around, is gonna find himself in bed with some women here and there. Maybe not as many as you might think, but definitely more than a few. I was never big on one night stands, though there were a handful of those. But I also wasn't that big on keeping anyone around for that long, and I don't think too many of them were into that either. It was fun, but I never met anyone I would've been devastated if I never got to see them again.
I guess you were wondering about the actual sex. At this point, my memory is a little fuzzy on a lot of it, and I pretty much never sit around reminiscing about it. I haven't touched another woman besides Leia for a long, long time (don't feel too sorry for me, I touch her a lot!) and I am pretty sure she prefers not to hear about any of it, but I'll see what I can come up with.
I guess I started like any teenager, with only one goal and really no plans beyond that or really much caring about learning any special tricks. I was a little selfish maybe, but usually neither one of us really knew what we were doing or what we might be missing out on. I remember a fair amount of fumbling and apologizing and nothing taking all that long and certainly nothing spectacular. I don't think I was insecure or anything but I definitely wasn't all that confident.
Eventually I started occasionally running into women who weren't afraid to tell me what they liked and I learned some new tricks, and my confidence grew. And yeah, it starts to be more fun when you know the ladies are having a good time. It's nice to have that kind of reputation. Of course I had my fun too, and mostly that was all it was: fun. And just so simple, nothing else to worry about because nobody was all that invested, it was just something to do. At the time I was more than happy with just that. I mean, who wants to complicate things or be worried about whether or not anyone's feelings are getting hurt?
Then I met Leia. And suddenly there was a lot more to worry about. I never felt that way about anyone before. It didn't take long before I couldn't imagine my life without her, and that definitely scared me, but it made me even more determined to get her to let her walls down. Sure, sex was part of that, but I wanted so much more than that from her. I never really knew what intimacy was before her.
So, yeah, I gave up all the "fun" stuff once I was with her. It didn't scare me though, because I got so much more. I mean, to start, we were making up for a couple of years of built up sexual tension. I couldn't keep my hands off her, and if memory serves, she couldn't keep hers off me either. I mean, before, it was fun, and I liked making the women feel good, but with Leia, it was so much more than just wanting to make her feel good. I never really wanted to connect or bond with someone the way I did with her. Looking in her eyes, the way she looked at me, wondering what she was thinking and just being so in love with her, I can't put it into words. It also doesn't hurt that for me she's the most beautiful woman I've ever known.
I obviously knew what I was doing more than she did, but she was a quick learner. I got to learn the things she liked the most, and the things she liked slightly less (I'm not sure we found anything she outright didn't like, mostly she has favorites and not-as-favorites, depending on her mood) and she figured out some ways to drive me absolutely crazy that even I had never experienced before. Maybe it's just because it's her, the love of my life, and that makes everything better, but sometimes I can't believe how good she can make me feel, and not just physically. She wants me for me, all of me, and not just because of what I can do for her in the bedroom.
She tells me she can actually feel how much I love her. Everyone knows I don't like the idea of anyone getting inside my head, not even my wife, but sometimes she can sort of project how she feels about me and I can get a real sense of it, and I'm not all that sentimental, but I can't even describe what it's like to actually be able to feel how much she loves me. If this is what it's like to be with the same woman for the rest of my life, I think I'll take it.
Sure, things have changed some over the years. We're definitely not as frantic about it as we were in the beginning. Except maybe sometimes, if it's been a while. I'm definitely a lot less concerned about whether or not I'll lose her because I'm pretty sure by now she has decided to keep me, and I'm not letting her go, that's for sure. It's more than just the physical side of things, and of course that part is always good. I had no idea how good it could be to have someone hold me like that or say "I love you" over and over again. I mean yeah, sex is gonna feel pretty good no matter what, but it's on another level with someone I know so completely, and who I know loves me so much, and I'm still completely and totally in love with. She's also the mother of my children, and it's just incredible to be with someone who has given me so much. I just like being with her in general, no matter what we're doing.
Didn't I just say up there that I wasn't really a sentimental guy? I'm blabbering on with all this mushy stuff, huh? Anyway, like I said, it's been 25 years and I'm definitely not tired of her yet. She still seems just as happy with me, too, although maybe you should ask her opinion on that. Yeah, it's not always epic and fireworks, but just getting some time to be close with her is all I really need.