The Lesser Known EU Part II: The Glove of Darth Vader Series

The next series I'll discuss, and maybe you've heard of it, maybe you haven't, is the Glove of Darth Vader series. It was originally published as six smaller books intended for younger audiences and including some illustrations. I stumbled across them probably back around 2000 on a random trip to the book store where there were stacks of these books, on clearance for $3 a piece. And in this case it was two hardcovers that collected the whole series. How could I turn down $6 worth of Star Wars entertainment? Especially when I opened the books and flipped through and saw that Han and Leia were in them?

Being intended for a younger audience, obviously they are quick reads. They're not necessarily dumbed down, just very simply written. So, what is this series about? Han, Leia, Luke and Lando have now formed this group called SPIN (Senate Planetary Intelligence Network) designed for special missions. Almost immediately, Han does something that doesn't really make much sense to me. He basically leaves Leia. Huh? Well, it doesn't seem entirely permanent, but apparently his long-time dream was to live in a "sky house" and he acts as though he is adamantly against getting married. They share a sad goodbye and Leia doesn't fight much and Han gives her a cliche, "A man's gotta do what a man's gotta do" and off he goes.

We meet the enemy and his name is Trioculous. Why? Because of that extra eye in the middle of his forehead. He must've had very creative parents. Well, speaking of parents, this guy claims to be the son of the Emperor and actually declares himself Emperor not too long after the war. It must be fun to just stand up and say, "All right, I'm Emperor now!" and have people believe you. Well, he wasn't the Emperor's son, and it was speculated that yet another three-eyed mutant actually was, but the truth is never really known. His name? Triclops. Couldn't they have just named him Steve or something? Well, apparently that glove that disappeared when Luke chopped Vader's hand off had some special powers, and for whatever reason, it was decided that the true heir would reveal himself with the glove that somehow survived the Death Star explosion.

That is not the end of the list of enemies. Also included is Zorba the Hutt, Jabba's dad. Think of Jabba if he had long, flowing, braided hair. And he's not so happy when he finds out that Leia killed his son. So of course he wants his revenge. Han is off enjoying his sky house with Chewie - because yeah, Han Solo would love a big, empty, floating house without Leia in it - and Luke goes to visit him and asks him if he had ever intended to marry Leia, and Han insists that although Leia would be at the top of the list, marriage just isn't his thing. Right... Luke tells Han Leia misses him, but of course Han won't admit anything back.

Luke winds up needing some medical attention and Han brings him back and runs into Leia. They share a less-than-satisfying reunion, although at least they get to share what is referred to as a long kiss. And Leia, "against her better judgment, didn't try to make it any shorter." Han sticks around for a while and Trioculous sees an image of Leia and of course, taken by her beauty, decides he wants to marry her. Seriously, who doesn't want to marry Leia in these books? Oh, right, in this case Han apparently.

Eventually Han has a housewarming party at his new, stupid house, and he and Leia dance - apparently Han teaches her to do the Space Pirate Boogie - and he of course says he's glad she came but doesn't really seem all that interested in her over the house. Then all hell breaks loose as they find out Zorba wants to get Leia and they need to get off Bespin - fast. Leia winds up being taken by Trioculous and he tells her he wants to marry her which she doesn't like the sound of very much. She gets to hit him, too. Well, they all get rescued and Han decides he's going to take Leia "somewhere romantic" which is an idea that she seems to like. He then gives her what is described as a very long kiss:

During this kiss Han starts thinking about the possibility of proposing to her. Not being able to come up with the right words, he decides to put it off for another day. Of course another day they are on some mission and back to arguing a lot and he wonders how he was possibly considering marriage just a few days ago. See, this is some of that juvenile, high school relationship stuff I despise so much.

They go on another mission, this time to Mount Yoda. Some stuff happens (sorry, I'm not going to recap everything!) and Han winds up being given this ancient ring for having saved some people that had belonged to the Princess of Corellia. Of course it is a wedding ring, and Han says that marriage isn't really in his plans, but he takes it anyway.

In another strange turn of events, Han and Leia are on some planet and Han and Artoo get buried in a rock slide. Leia helplessly watches it happen and initially thinks that Han is dead, but realizes she can feel he isn't. After some bulldozing, she gets them out, and they're fine. Han makes some comments about how he thought maybe he wasn't going to see her again and that it would've ruined all of his plans. Leia asks him what plans, and he shrugs her off. Jeez, Han, just say it already!

Well, he doesn't wait that long to say it, actually. He announces that they will now be headed to Hologram Fun World. That sounds like a third-rate amusement center in Orlando or something. You know, the $10 entertainment when you can't really afford to go to Disney World. Why are they going there? To elope, Han announces. Yes, this particular Han can't just ask for what he wants:

"Wha... what?" Princess Leia stammered.

"Well, uhm, it's just that, uhm..."

"Are you asking me to marry you, Han?" Leia asked.

"I guess you could look at it that way, if you want," Han said. "I mean, that's what it usually means to elope, doesn't it? To fly off somewhere in a hurry get get, you know..."

Leia was speechless.

Han gave a deep sigh and continued. "Don't act as if this comes as such a big shock, okay? I told you when you saved my life that all my plans for us were almost crushed by those rocks. That just started me thinking, I guess."

"Thinking about me?" Leia asked.

"Thinking about the fact that I'm not getting any younger, and if I ever want any pip-squeak Solo kids running around my sky house tugging at my boots, well, it just wouldn't seem right unless you were their mother." Han gazed into her eyes. "Does that make any sense?"

"Perfect sense," she answered.

Then, as expected, they kiss:

Threepio apparently is not into being a voyeur. Leia mentions how she had always dreamed of having a big wedding, and Han, being impatient, mentions that it'd take months to plan that and anything could happen, so maybe after they elope they can just have a big party for their friends. Leia seems okay with that, and they set off. Yes, two proposals in the EU and neither one is much good, or really even exists.

Well, they get to Hologram Fun World with the intention of getting married that night. Leia picks out and buys a ring for Han, Han gets a tux and Leia gets a dress. But then they run into Lando, who now of course has a business there, and he tells them they can't get married without their birth certificates. Han's is apparently at his sky house and Leia's, as you can imagine, was destroyed on Alderaan. For Star Wars, flimsy (paper) birth certificates just seem ridiculous. But Lando assures them they can get back-ups and be married the next day.

You can imagine a delay here would not be a good thing. They go to a magic show, and Leia goes up on stage to participate and... disappears. Except they don't bring her back. Even worse? Zorba now has her, and of course he is not happy.

In this case it's good to have more than one enemy, because Trioculous takes Leia from Zorba because of course he wants to marry her and doesn't want her killed. Leia tells him that she has already accepted a proposal from Han and Trioculous says he can't possibly offer her what she deserves (wow, this theme is used a lot.) As you can imagine, Leia's posse comes and rescues her, but Trioculous actually thinks he's about to marry Leia. Until laser beams start coming out of her eyes like Superman's heat vision. They sent in a decoy Leia, a human replica droid. (wouldn't Han have fun with one of those?) She kills Trioculous, although she also winds up being destroyed.

The kicker is that the series ends with Leia walking down the aisle at their wedding and taking Han's hand. So... Han and Leia get married twice. And this one takes place much earlier, since this series is supposed to be about a year after the movies. It's all very confusing from a canon standpoint because if you read timelines, there are elements of this series that they consider "official" but of course, how could Han and Leia have gotten married in this book only to not be married later?

There is some speculation that maybe the wedding was interrupted since we don't actually see it take place, and they didn't get married and were forced to wait. I hate when they try and justify all of these continuity errors that screw everything up. Just admit that this book was published first and nobody had decided what would happen later so it's sort of an alternate version! You think if Han and Leia's wedding was interrupted they would just forget about it for a couple of years? Anyway, these are quick reads and you can get them super cheap. They are not fine literature, but again, fun little books and some cute pictures of Han and Leia kissing :) They were some of the first EU books back when there wasn't much to choose from, so keep that in mind.

Here is a random, funny little article I found when researching this little post: http://www.toplessrobot.com/2011/03/10_crappiest_parts_of_the_star_wars_jedi_prince_se.php

So check it out if you're interested, but you're not missing anything major if you don't feel like it. Those of you with younger kids can probably get away with giving these to them to read but secretly sneaking into their rooms at night and taking them to flip through yourselves. But don't expect great Han and Leia characterizations, because you won't get it. It's not quite as bad as COPL, but still.

Joint Story: The Sequel. You Decide

Our little poll seemed to have an actual purpose to it, and it became obvious that one of your favorite things about the blog was the joint story. I have to admit, I felt a tremendous sense of relief that it was over, even if it was my idea to start posting it up here in the first place, and therefore my own fault that I was stuck stressed out over trying to figure out what to do next before my next post was due!

Well, we've had a nice little break and it is apparent that our readership is down since the story ended and we aren't having as easy of a time coming up with other, regular posts. Not that we won't still have those, but it would be nice to just have updated content on a more regular basis, don't you think?

So, Push and I decided that we are going to do another joint story for you. The catch: you guys are going to decide what it's about. The only limitations I ask is that it is Han and Leia focused. Well, I might come up with more limitations depending on what some of the ideas you throw out there are, but that's a good start.

We ask that you post your story ideas here in the comments section and eventually we will post the choices in a poll for people to vote and the story will begin sometime in 2012, depending on how much interest we have here. There is no limit to the amount of ideas one person can offer. If you have seven different ideas, tell them to us. You don't need to give us an entire plot synopsis, it doesn't have to be long. Although it should probably have the potential to be more than, say 1000 words. Otherwise it wouldn't be much of a joint story! Use your imagination, give us an idea that you've thought of but don't actually want to write yourself. Give us an idea you think would be cute or edgy or maybe even something that's been done before but you want to see what we come up with. Whatever!

Who knows, maybe this will spark some ideas for other people as well, and some of the choices we don't pick can be issued as regular challenges. Let's have fun with this!

Luke Skywalker and the Shadows of Mindor: The Review

Don't let the name or the cover fool you. Just because Luke's name is in the title like it's all about him and there's no sign of any other characters doesn't mean there isn't any good Han and Leia in here. In fact, I'm going to say this right at the beginning of the review: this is my favorite EU book. Yes, I like it even better than Tatooine Ghost and its entirely Han/Leia-centric plot and implied sex. It made me both happy and sad when I first read it three years ago when it first came out. Happy because it was just so much fun and felt like the kind of Star Wars book I'd been waiting to read basically since I started reading these books. Sad because I felt like I'd been cheated all these years, and if this was the first EU book, maybe other authors would've followed suit and written their books in the same sort of spirit that just feels so much more like Star Wars than any other books. Instead we got years of wrongness, a few bright spots, and a huge downward spiral. But anyway, let's just talk about why I like this book so much.

This book takes place apparently very soon after Truce at Bakura. I know just that little tidbit by itself made me happy when I first heard of this book. Han and Leia weren't even married yet, let alone having children who had already died. Chewie was alive. Everyone was still young and vibrant and fun. It was like a breath of fresh air after I had been left constantly wondering why the powers that be keep accelerating the timeline and making the fictional characters in the books age faster than the actors that played them in real life. Why does Han have to go from 29 to 75 in that span when Harrison himself has only gone from 34 to 69? (holy crap, he's more than twice as old... yikes.)

The book begins with Luke struggling a bit with the morals of being a general and how many lives he is forced to take. He actually is asking to be investigated to see if he should be charged with war crimes. At this point, most of the rest of the book is told in flashback.

Luke talks with Han about being a general and Han makes light of it, like it's not really that big of a deal, especially if he could handle it himself. Then Luke gives him a hard time about resigning and Han says that Leia needs a good bodyguard, to which Leia debates if he was such a good bodyguard how come she's the one rescuing him all of the time? "It's how you prove you still love me." That is just the tip of the iceberg as far as these characters just sounding so much like I'd expect Han and Leia to sound in their fun, teasing nature toward one another.

There is a good quote here that you may have seen on our blog before about how Luke says that Han doesn't have to answer to anyone, and Han says, "Have you met your sister?" Not long after that she gives him a "sharp elbow" to the ribs. I'm sorry, I can't quote everything in this book that I liked or this post by itself would be an entire novel.

There is discussion about some holomovies based on their lives which is a fun but realistic look at the fame they must have within the galaxy due to their heroic acts. Luke is not such a fan of the whole thing, but Han apparently uses it to his advantage and makes money off the whole thing. This is one of the only things in the book I'm not sure is entirely a "Han" thing to do. Money? Yes. Fame? I don't know, but maybe we're all wrong about him there and he actually adores the fame, but anyway...

Han and Leia get stuck sitting in on some negotiations with Mandolorians, which makes Han wonder if it is possible to die from boredom. A lot of this book is written from Han's point of view in such a way that it is almost as though we are hearing Han's internal dialogue. Matthew Stover has written a few other Star Wars books, and those were also enjoyable, but this one just has an incredibly unique, fun style that again, makes you wish that he had written almost the entirety of the EU. We get to read about Han's feelings on Mandolorians in which he tries to play off that he doesn't hate all of them, and he's not generalizing, but he's never met one that he liked.

Why does Han bother with these negotiations? Well, the book puts it simply, and this whole section is one of my favorite things ever written in an EU book:

"The main consideration that stopped him from engaging in catastrophic droid-remodelling was the presence beside him of the New Republic's chief negotiator, who was so breathtakingly beautiful that Han couldn't even glance her way without feeling his heart begin to pound.

"She was not only beautiful but brilliant and fiercely courageous, and she had done only one really foolish thing in her entire life: a couple of years ago, she had let herself fall in love with a dashing-but-impoverished tramp-freighter captain - well, okay, a disreputable smuggler on the run from Imperial authorities and various bounty hunters and crime lords, but who was counting? - and Han could never shake this lurking dead that if he, say, did something nasty to C-3PO, who, after all, usually meant well, Leia might suddenly wake up and realize what an awful mistake she'd made.

"Not that he'd ever admit this, not even to Chewbacca. Not even to himself, most days - his ego was invulnerable to self-doubt - but on those rare occasions when he found himself getting irritable and depressed because he was stuck somewhere with way too much time to think and not nearly enough to do, these little whispers would start hissing around in the back of his head. He could quiet them only by privately reaffirming his personal blood oath that he would never - never ever ever - give the woman he loved a reason to regret falling for him."

I absolutely love that passage, for so many reasons. Obviously because it shows just how much he loves her, but it isn't really overly mushy or sentimental. It shows us that he isn't entirely secure in his worthiness of her, but even he is reluctant to admit it to even himself because come on, he's Han Solo, cocky smuggler with the huge ego. In this little passage we know that he loves her for her beauty but he also respects her for her brilliance and courage, among other things. Enough gushing, because there's a lot more to get to here.

Fenn Shysa becomes involved in these negotiations, and if any of you had read the Marvel comics I talked about in that other post (none of you did, I know) you'd know there is more back story here. Leia had met him while Han was in carbonite, and like every single man in the Star Wars universe (although you can't really blame them because Leia is just about the only woman in the galaxy not currently chained to Jabba's throne) he tried to make some moves on Leia, but at least in this case, she wasn't interested. He came back in a later issue and once again started putting moves on Leia, and Han, very uncharacteristically, didn't push or make a big deal of it. In this case it was because he was annoyed about this pilot's test he had failed, and I'm assuming wasn't genuinely worried that he was going to steal Leia away from him.

Han has some fun little names he likes to give the Mandalorians, especially Shysa. In fact, Han's full name he gives him is, "Fenn You-So-Much-as-Look-at-Leia-That-Way-One-More-Time-and-I-Swear-I'm-Gonna-Pop-Your-Mando-Skull-Like-a-Bladdergrape Shysa." So as you can see, he's not a big fan. But it gets better, as he laments that it is obvious Shysa considers himself, "more-studly-than-thou, more-honorable-than-thou, more-self-sacrificing-than-thou, and more-all-around-good-guy-than-thou." Han also hints at some insecurity that Shysa is a bit better looking, pays particular attention to Leia, and worse, she seems to enjoy it.

All of this is interrupted though when Leia proves without a doubt that she's not really thinking about Shysa, when she pulls Han close and tells him quietly that Luke is in trouble. You see, Luke had run off to battle and managed to get himself caught, and of course now that he and Leia have that whole twin bond thing, she can tell when something is wrong with him. It takes some convincing, but Han goes off to see if he can find out, and when he finds out she's right, it takes him about ten seconds to get to Chewie and the Falcon and head straight out to help him. Chewie gives him a hard time about not taking Leia and Han has no intention of bringing her into danger, so off they go.

As you can imagine, when it finally occurs to Leia that Han isn't coming back to the meeting and she finds out he left, she's not thrilled. Of course she's torn between Han's tendency to drop everything to save a friend and his "silly masculine notion" that he can protect her by leaving her behind. She also has some very interesting thoughts about how she is still having difficulty coming to terms with the fact that she has Jedi blood. She had mostly hoped that what she "felt" was wrong was just some silly, meaningless thought. I can see how it would be difficult to come to really start to accept that you have that sort of power and to learn to listen to it. So Leia of course now knows she has to go after them, and it doesn't take much to convince Wedge to get the entirety of Rogue Squadron ready to go. Oh, and not long after that, Lando and Shysa follow suit. This is gonna be some party....

So, they arrive at Mindor. Honestly, I am going to butcher trying to describe this whole thing. I even did a search to see if anyone else described this whole thing accurately and found nothing. So just take my advice and read the damn book, but I'll try to at least give you something to go on. So here we go:

Cronal (who has a couple of names here, but the essence I believe is Cronal) is attacking the Inner Rim planets and using Mindor as a base. This guy somehow has the ability to sort of use other people's bodies to carry out his will, and whomever is carrying it out is known as "Shadowspawn." He lures Luke into a trap and captures him, using one of his Shadowspawns and intending to take Luke next.

Han finds himself immersed in a space battle when he arrives, and for a while many are under the false assumption that Luke is dead. Leia finally arrives and assures him that no, he's still in trouble, but certainly not dead. The battle had taken place in the midst of an asteroid field, which, as you can imagine, brought back fond memories for Han. The whole system is a little strange and honestly this is my fourth reading of this book and I'm still not entirely clear, but somehow there are these gravity wells holding everything together, but they get destroyed and it sets off a chain reaction that sooner or later basically everything is going to get pulled into the sun.

Once Han and Leia are reunited, obviously their main priority is to find Luke. They run into a woman named Aeona Cantor, a pirate whose lover she needs to rescue was taken as Shadowspawn. Han does not fail to notice that she is "dangerously good-looking" but also a redhead, which fortunately he has decided he never wants to deal with again. And, he also thinks to himself, "Besides, my dance card's full. For the rest of my life, if I'm lucky." You got that right. They enjoy some witty banter before some TIE fighters interrupt the conversation.

They are forced to immediately flee back to the safety of the Falcon, and Han makes a less-than-graceful move toward his ship and lands hard on his rear. A few moments later, once a bit safer on board, Leia asks, "Are you okay? Really?"


"Mostly," Han said. "Considering I landed on my brain." (that would be referring to his ass)

"As long as there's no permanent damage." Leia flashed a grin and gave his injured anatomy a quick pat as he squeezed by. "It's your best feature - and that's saying a lot."

"You're adorable," he said. "Now let's go shoot some bad guys, huh?"

Leia patting Han's ass? Where has this EU been hiding for the past twenty years? They make a quick escape, but Leia makes Han go back and get the Mindor people and the redhead so they won't be mercilessly slaughtered. Han is reluctant, but of course agrees. So now he's stuck with a mouthy redhead on his ship. And one who led him to a nice cavern to dock his ship in, that reminds him of another cavern not that long ago he had docked in for safety, only to find he wasn't so safe (but at least he finally got that kiss.)

Once safe, they go back to see who they've picked up and Chewie and Leia start helping the wounded while Han starts talking to Aeona, who knows who he is and starts to flatter him while he consciously tries not to do anything that Leia might think was flirting. He reluctantly gives her his blaster after she had given him hers to check out, and of course then she decides she wants to keep it. Then they see that somehow these people have Artoo (he was with Luke and they had found him earlier) and Artoo being probably the real hero of all of the movies, makes it clear that these people are not to be trusted, at which point as you might expect, Aeona pulls Han's blaster on him and he discovers that her blaster has been relieved of its power cell.

She wants his ship, which is an idea Han is not such a fan of. Fortunately, Han is smarter than we initially thought, and he had also taken the power cell out of his blaster before giving it to her. She refers to Leia as "Princess Kissy-Face" to which Leia, quite angrily, replies, "Princess excuse me?" Han can't even hold her back. Once Aeona finds out the blaster is useless she throws it at him and goes to attack, but Leia takes her out and pounds her face into the deck while sitting on her back. When Han goes to get her so they can flee, Leia looked up at him with a fierce grin, sparkling eyes, and high color blazing in her cheeks, and Han thought again for the tenth or hundredth - maybe thousandth - time, that the Princess of Alderaan really was never more beautiful than when she was knocking the living Sithspit out of somebody.

Yeah, go Leia! This is the kind of narrow escape that feels right out of the movies. Nothing goes perfectly and everyone is in on the action. Chewie contributes by literally throwing unconscious bodies toward other enemies. I love seeing Leia in on the action not just with a blaster, but also physically - especially when it involves really taking out her aggression on this woman who really got under her skin. Chewie grabs Han and carries him out. Han wants to cover Leia and get her out, thinking that there's no way he'll make it after she goes, but she refuses to leave him. She gets clipped by a blaster and Han wastes no time grabbing her, in spite of her insistence that she's fine, and carrying her out.

They do all make it out, and we're left with the visual of Han holding Leia in his arms, Chewie and Artoo with them, as the Falcon takes off without them. Stolen. Han is stunned nearly to silence, devastated as you can imagine. He's mostly silent for a while afterward as they walk off to try and find Luke, Leia walking far off in front and not saying much until Chewie convinces him to go and talk to her. After discussing that they are headed in the right direction, Han gets some satisfaction when he decides that she was, in fact, jealous of Aeona. Leia tells him that he wouldn't have been caught so off-guard if she wasn't so good-looking. Han isn't sure, but, "I am pretty sure that if she wasn't so good-looking, you wouldn't have hit her so hard." "Hope I broke her nose," Leia then replied.

I love the interaction between these two in this book! Han also then says, referring to something else, "When I get too old to be dashing, I'll having to be colorful."

"You're already colorful, and you'll always be dashing."

"Aw, you take the fun out of everything."

See, these are two people who aren't acting like some stupid, teenage romance. And utilizing their fun, sarcastic humor that we know them for. But we don't get that for long, because this cave they're in is... interesting, and the floor falls right out beneath them. I don't even know if I can adequately describe what happens to them at this point, notably because it is actually told from Artoo's point of view. The rock is sort of.... alive. And it doesn't like them very much. First it takes out Chewie, and then an energy bolt takes out Han who is left twitching, and as you can imagine, Leia is next. Although even Artoo says how he would do everything he could to prevent any harm from coming to Princess Leia. It's a wonder anything bad ever happens to her with so many men on her side.

Next comes close to the only part of the book that is written from Leia's point of view. That is maybe my only gripe here, that we don't get more from Leia's point of view, because it would be interesting to see more from her. But, well, hearing things from Han's is just so darn much fun. But here, Han is out, and Leia isn't doing so well either, but even in the dark she seems to know where he is and manages to reach out and grab his boot. Desperate to wake him up, she starts with shaking. Then she moves to slapping, then, ever-so-lovingly, she grabs his earlobe and digs her thumbnail in as hard as she can. I suspect this wasn't so much because she is into abusing him, but because if he didn't wake up right then, there was a good chance he'd die.

Fortunately, this did the trick, and he is only mad at her for about a second. They manage to run away from.... an enemy honestly I'm still not clear on. Basically live rock that wants to envelop them and destroy them. Except they wind up running to a cavern full of dead bodies. Yeah, that sounds better. Basically, they think that's it. Han just pulls Leia into his arms, and: "Leia, I'm just - I'm sorry things went this way. I just wish you and I had more time. Together."

She smiled up at him and touched his face. "I know."

"How is it we only kiss when we're about to get killed?"

"Just lucky, I guess." She kissed him, briefly, glancedly, but even that slight contact brought a hot flash of bittersweet regret for all of the kisses he was pretty srue they'd never get the chance to share."

Are you crying yet? I guess my only complaint there is the insinuation that they aren't kissing constantly, whether about to die or not, but still. They get some brief hope when they discover that not all of the bodies are dead, but then things get worse again when suddenly a very large, ominous dude starts coming toward them, and Leia can understand what he wants. And he wants her. But first he grabs Han by the throat and basically is very slowly breaking his neck when Leia says that if he dies, so will she. Han decides that the threat seems kind of silly since that seems to be what the guy wants. And at first you might think of it as a sweet, "I can't live without him" sort of thing but really it is just clear to Leia that he needs her alive, and she can bargain with her life to save Han.

He drops Han and she gets him to back away, but then everything goes dark, and Han can hear Leia being taken but he can't get to her and falls through the floor again, and basically the rock melts around his hands and knees and he is trapped. Worse, Luke finally comms him, and of course, his hands and knees being solidly entombed in the ground, he can't answer the call. But I did forget to mention, Luke actually winds up on the Falcon with Aeona and Nick, isn't that convenient?

Luke had escaped, gotten away from being Shadowspawn. Which is why Leia was now in so much danger. Her body was the perfect alternative. Except apparently Leia has some spark of something that Luke didn't have, and it is preventing him from getting rid of her fully and using her body. She just won't let go and he can't figure out why. Well, he doesn't have time to figure it out because Luke comes in and saves her, gets her body to Chewie and Han although she is still having some sort of seizure and Luke stays behind to take out Cronal. Han decides he has to go back for Luke, and he tries to help him until Luke finally tells him he has to go back to Leia and basically uses the Force to make him go back and he is unable to open the Falcon's hatch to go get him. So he takes off, Leia still convulsing in the copilot chair.

Luke manages to take out Cronal, but basically the planet is still about to explode and there is no way to get away fast enough because of the surrounding asteroids. The Falcon is simply sitting on the planet and Han took Leia out, knowing they were about to die. Her seizures had finally stopped and she was mumbling something about light and he just laid her out on a blanket, thinking he shouldn't wake her up basically just to die.

But she wakes up, and tells him how where she was had been so dark and she couldn't remember anything.... "except for you. It was like you were with me," she murmurred. "You were all I had left - and I didn't need anything else."

Awww.... See, that was the light that had prevented him from taking over her body. Han. The only reason this passage made me angry was because the next book in sequence would be COPL, and you'd think after he was the only thing she needed and the light that brought her back from the dark she might not be so taken by some blond, long-haired, rich prince. But that rant is probably for next week. Oh, but one more thing, after that, why did it take another four years to get married again?

Leia is hungry, even though she knows they're going to die and they decide to share a "picnic" of the dead stormtroopers' stale rations. Han jokes that obviously this is a meal they will never forget as long as they live - what with the fact that apparently they are going to die within minutes. Leia replies, "Always the joker, even now. Even here."

Han nodded. "Well, y'know we always get romantic when we're about to die. It was getting repetitive."

The ground beneath them spasmed once, then again, and Leia said, "I think we should respect the tradition."

"You do?"

"Kiss me, Han. One last time." She lifted a hand to his cheek. Her touch was warm and dry, and impossibly precious to him. "Once for all the kisses we'll never get."

I love this. And while I obviously hope that they never actually die, I think I could live with it if this is how they were in their final moments. They don't need a lot of words. But, of course, they don't die. In fact, they don't even actually get to kiss there because Chewie informs them that if they move fast, they'll live. Even Han would give up a Leia kiss if it meant he'd get to live instead of die. Push is going to have to explain why they don't die because honestly, I've never been able to figure it out.

That is the last we hear from Han and Leia in this book, but I like to speculate that once safely in hyperspace and fed and rested, then they decide to get married and have lots of sex. Yep, that's my story. In all seriousness, if I ever posted my ideas on how they got engaged and stuff, it would follow right after this book, negating any further timelines in the EU. Don't get excited, I never wrote it and there's a good chance I never will.

Artoo actually goes back and saves Luke by signalling a ship that takes the asteroid they're on with it in its hyperspace bubble or whatever. And everyone is safe.

I apologize for the worst general summary in the history of general summaries, but I had to get a lot of quotes in. If you've never read a single EU book, maybe are curious but don't want to get into reading a bunch of books, read this one. I'd give this to a casual fan just to take a look at, and I'm not sure there are any other books I'd do that with. This book feels the most like the movies and is the most fun while at the same time having very dark possibilities. The characterizations are utterly perfect. Han is at his awesome-est, and he works perfectly in synch with bad-ass Leia. Luke is facing some real personal issues when it comes to what he wants to do as far as being a general and/or Jedi and what they both would mean.

I didn't even get into the fact that there is also a lot with Rogue Squadron and poor Lando is the one who was stuck with Threepio all that time. There is also a lot more that happened with Luke but I'm sorry, this was already really long and you really should read the book anyway. This is the kind of fun adventure that I really, really wish had been on their minds from the beginning of writing the EU. I'd be thrilled if they wiped the slate clean and started over from the end of this book.

Han and Leia factor? Easy 5. For me, anyway. Obviously the focus is not on their relationship but I think that's part of what makes it so great. It doesn't have to be the focal point for the author within the context of the story to be able to show us what they mean to each other. Honestly, right now off the top of my head I only remember the word "love" being used once, and that was when Han was teasing Leia about how often she has to save him. It is never mushy but still leaves you smiling. They tease each other and work perfectly with each other, whether it is to save one another or just in the face of an enemy, often not needing words to communicate.

I don't even know what else to say about this book I haven't already. If you haven't read it, do. I know when I first got it I was almost laughing to myself at how awesome I thought it was and how much I wished there were more books like it. I'd say Zahn's latest installments are fairly close in tone, but he loses points simply because Han and Leia aren't together yet - not his fault. This is what Star Wars books were meant to be. And hey, if nothing else, like I said, it still doesn't hurt that there's a part where Leia not only pats Han's ass, but compliments him on it. What more could you ask for outside of fan fiction? Let's just try not to think about how the great status of their relationship at the end of this book further illustrates how proposterous COPL is, but again, that's a rant for another book.

The Lesser Known EU: The Marvel Comics

While we are in the middle of reading the most common line of EU books, I thought I'd take an opportunity to discuss some of the other books and comics that don't necessarily fit perfectly within the usual canon timeline. I won't give them as thorough reviews as we are doing for all of the books, but they do have their place and some of them you might even want to consider picking up if you've got some spare time and money.

First, I will discuss the Marvel comics run. It's only fair to start here because I am pretty sure that these were the first opportunity for fans to read adventures of our favorite characters outside of the movies themselves. I had heard about these for years but never read one, and then a couple of years ago I saw they were collected on Amazon and I decided to buy them as I was craving some early adventures rather than reading about Han and Leia's kids dying and turning all Sith and the fact that they are now elderly. Back when Star Wars was still a fun, fantasy escape and didn't take itself so seriously all the time. If I wanted the reality of life and death in war I'd read non-fiction!

The comics begin with the adaptation of A New Hope itself through several issues. It is a more complete adaptation with the inclusions of Luke and Biggs in the beginning. It also includes our first glimpse at Jabba the Hutt in the scene that was not added to the film until the first special editions. The most amusing thing about this is that Jabba looks absolutely nothing like Jabba in ROTJ. And I don't mean that in the way that CGI Jabba in ANH doesn't look that much like "real" Jabba in ROTJ. Need proof? This is what he looks like in the comics:

Um.... right. But you have to remember that at this point the artists had no idea that he was supposed to be a giant slug. People didn't know what Hutts were in 1977! The other thing I think it's only fair to warn you about in the comics is, well, you know those two times in the movie that Leia kisses Luke on the cheek? She doesn't kiss him on the cheek here. I didn't say she didn't kiss him, I said it wasn't on the cheek. Anyway...

The first issue afterward takes place immediately following the movie. These comics actually help explain several things that weren't entirely clear by just watching the movies. For example, almost immediately after Han gets his reward, he is hijacked and the money is taken before he gets to give it to Jabba. I mean, hadn't you ever really thought about why he didn't just give him the damn money before Boba Fett was coming after him when he had three years to do it?


One thing I was pleasantly surprised about through these comics was that in spite of them being written and published long before we knew Luke and Leia were brother and sister, there isn't nearly as much implied longing for each other there as you might fear, especially based on the vomit-inducing sludge from Splinter. I won't lie, there are a few moments, and there are even a couple of (minor) kisses, but considering what it could've been, I was able to look past it. Except maybe one near-death exclamation of love from Luke, but again, we can choose to ignore that sort of thing.


The adventures range from stand-alone issues with the three of them going on missions or visiting foreign planets to longer story lines, and even some flashbacks to earlier times, especially for Han. Some of it is downright wacky, but if you can just take them in the spirit in which they were intended, it can be a lot of fun. And aside from Luke, off the top of my head I can recall twice that Leia and Han kissed... though to be fair, one was a "kiss for luck" (on the lips - and I don't understand why Leia thinks her kisses are so lucky and hands them out like Tic Tacs) and the other was Han kissing her when they were sort of playing roles in the face of some enemy. Leia winds up decking him afterward, but not long after, Leia starts thinking about how nice that kiss was...


There are giant rabbits, Hoojibs which are like little furry rabbits except they communicate telepathically, visits to crazy space stations, visits to aqua planets, marriage proposals to Leia (never from Han) and marriage proposals to Han (never from Leia) and, as expected, no marriage proposals for Luke.

Eventually we also get the comics adaptation of Empire, which is fun. The artwork is great and looks as though the artist pretty much drew his panels from stills in the movie. The bad news is, after this, there are many, many issues where Han is in carbonite. I mean, if you were a kid buying comics in 1980, that would be three years of monthly issues not knowing whether or not Han was going to come out alive. The good news is that they have quite a few flashback issues that have some adventures with Han - some before he met Luke and Leia, and even some after.

Now, I don't know why in some of these comics they make Leia out to be such an easy catch for any man who is interested. She held off Han for years but now suddenly any guy who shows interest gets a shot? While there are a fair number of issues in which Leia is yearning for and missing Han:


And even some nice ones where she thinks about how much she loves him, there are also some issues I was... not such a fan of. There was one in particular that made me so irate, upon reading it I immediately had to scan a page to send to Push so she could share in my anger. I was so mad at Leia it wasn't even funny. She and Luke go to some planet and for some reason Leia is posing as consort for Prince Denid. That name may or may not sound familiar to you. When I read the name in the comic I knew I had heard it elsewhere, when I believe Ivylore used him in one of her stories in that Leia had cheated on Han with him. Well, upon reading this comic, I could see why that might have been a distinct possibility, because check this out:

The most important part of this picture to pay attention to (ten points for alliteration) is at the bottom. First, the guy spying on them is Luke. He's in disguise, not trying out a new look. Leia met Prince Denid (who looks an awful lot like Inigo Montoya from The Princess Bride) like twenty minutes ago and he immediately decides he loves her, because that's what most men introduced into these stories do, and she seems to be totally cool with it. Even worse? This is where the scene ends. There is no follow up immediately after in which Leia pushes him away and says that she can't possibly because she's in love with someone else. There's nothing!!! This might be one of the only good things Luke ever at least tried to do, not wanting Leia to wind up with this guy. I don't even care if it was because he wanted her for himself!

I'm seriously still really, really mad at Leia for this. In the end, sometime after this night and some other crap that happens, she doesn't even really push him away that much, just kisses him goodbye and declines his proposal saying that her heart is with the Rebellion. Um, remember that guy you told you loved him not so long ago? Do you?!?! Well, like any elements of the EU I really, strongly dislike, I choose to pretend they do not exist. So, moving on...

For some reason they did not include ROTJ in the specific collection of these comics I've purchased. I've never seen it but might get it for myself for Christmas. Not long after I bought mine they released them again in Omnibus form and I do believe it is included in that one. So that is a quick, easy and fairly inexpensive way to get your hands on these if you are interested.

Anyway, after the movies, Han is there again, yay! I know that immediately after Endor Han gets really mad about how he doesn't really have a place in the galaxy anymore and he sort of storms off, but it doesn't take Leia long to calm him down and they share some nice moments. This is also probably why so many of us heard for so long that Boba Fett didn't really die in the Sarlacc Pit, as he immediately comes back in the very first post-movie issue. And unlike Bakura, Leia at least doesn't treat Han like an idiot in the comics. At least not here.

The comics ran for quite a while after the movies ended, but the unfortunate thing is whether it was because they stopped caring or they were told they wouldn't be able to write them much longer, things just started getting downright silly. I remember a few sweet Han and Leia moments (of course those would stick in my mind) and I remember Zeltrons. If you don't know what Zeltrons are, well, I think you need a visual. This particular issue involved Han and Leia going to some party thing with the Zeltrons and there was a big mix-up because for some reason Leia was dumb enough to let Threepio pack her bags. As you can imagine, that didn't turn out very well. So she has to make do with this dress she wasn't such a fan of but at least happened to have with her.

But it gets much better than that. The Zeltrons are, well... first of all, their skin is florescent pink. They dress pretty provocatively, and for the male Zeltrons this means several variations of an extra flamboyantly gay outfit on the biker dude from The Village People. They're pretty overtly sexual (Han gets propositioned the minute he walks in the door - but at least he can control himself unlike Leia with Prince Denid! I'm sorry, where was I) although the male Zeltrons are more like Leia's protective boy band entourage. So, much like the little mice in Cinderella, they decide they want to help and "fix" her dress. Oh, they are so excited about it, and Leia had been asleep and woke up just in time to get dressed for the party. Which is when we see this:

The hair had something to do with her falling asleep. I'm guessing Han kind of liked the outfit. They get captured soon after and don't worry, Han gives her his coat and they kick some bad-guy ass as a team.

As the issues wore on, the artwork started to get a lot less detailed and the stories seemed to revolve mainly around ridiculous things with the Zeltrons. I just think they stopped bothering trying to come up with decent stories anymore or were just out of ideas. Here and there we get a taste of some cute Han and Leia stuff - a brief kiss here, one hurrying to save the other, reconciling from a fight and knowing they still love each other, but overall this is not a focal point of the comics.

Here is where you will also see the introductions of certain characters you may have not even known had a "past" with the characters. We meet Fenn Shysa, who we will meet again in Shadows of Mindor. He has eyes for Leia, but at least this time Leia doesn't reciprocate, although of course there is some jealousy from Han. She does kiss him, but I promise it was only to distract him enough so she could smack him in the head. And if you've read New Jedi Order and the Legacy of the Force series, we also get introduced to Lumiya. I bet you never knew she had some real origins from earlier works.

Sadly, the end was... anticlimactic. It was sort of like when your favorite TV show gets canceled without much warning and suddenly the writers have to wrap it all up in two episodes. It just winds up coming to an abrupt and unsatisfying ending. But I do think that for any big Star Wars fan these can be a fun little addition to your reading material. Especially given the seriously dark turn the latest comics have taken. Many of these issues are totally forgettable, but without a doubt there is some fun stuff in there to make you smile.


So pick them up if you get a chance. Ask me any questions about them if you want. It's tough to try and recap 107 issues in one blog post! If you go on the Nerfherder's Playground web site there is a bit of talk on which issues are best for Han and Leia readers, although like most of the EU, we're kind of reaching on these. And if you want a really thorough recap then go and check out theforce.net message boards under the books, comics and expanded universe page. Someone took it upon themselves to recap every single one of these. Man, can you imagine? I mean it'd be like if someone decided to go through all of the EU books and review them all and point out all of the good Han and Leia parts. Oh, wait...


So if you've got the spare time and don't feel silly reading comic books - and really, you should feel no more silly reading comic books than Star Wars books, and my nephew thinks the fact that his aunt reads comic books is awesome - I'd recommend these. I have not been able to sell Push on them. I mean, don't have really high hopes as there are certainly not a ton of great Han and Leia moments, but it's just kind of a fun little diversion. You just have to remember that in comics you have to expect that every one is super-buff (or, if female, has enormous breasts) some characters on certain planets are going to wear ridiculous outfits - think He-Man's fur underwear with the belt - Han gets a few ex-girlfriends and Leia makes some questionable decisions while he is in carbonite, but I personally had a lot of fun reading comics from way back when and during the movie era. It's sort of like discovering this whole other EU you never knew existed. Happy reading!

The Truce at Bakura: The Review

This book starts right after ROTJ, with the Rebels still regrouping on and around Endor.  The premise of the book is that an outer rim world (Bakura) has sent some sort of message capsule through space (Star Wars snail mail) that is intended for the Emperor.  It is a plea for help against some invading aliens.  The Rebels then have to decide whether or not to help the Imperial world.  And, of course, they do.

We first meet Han and Leia fairly early on in the book and they are down on the forest moon aiding the Ewoks in cleaning up and tending to Leia’s blaster wound.  The pair joins via holonet the discussion of whether or not the Alliance should answer the distress call.  It is agreed that Leia, along with a small fleet, should be sent.  The Alliance has hopes of forming an alliance with either Bakura or even perhaps the invading aliens.  Han makes it clear that wherever Leia is sent, he will not be far from her.  Luke has a quick moment of introspection on his ‘feelings’ for Leia but admits that that part of his life is over now (thank goodness) and as far as I can recall that is the last of the ickiness involving the inappropriate feelings of the Skywalker siblings in any of these books.

Luke is initially left out of the mission due to lingering health issues from his battle with the Emperor, but after a visit from Obi Wan advising him to go; he is made commander of the small fleet which includes the Falcon with Han, Leia and Chewie.

The Rebels arrive at Bakura while it is in the midst of fending off the invading aliens.  Han and Luke make the call for the Falcon to sit out of the battle, keeping the chief negotiator (Leia) safe.  Leia is not happy with their decision but reluctantly capitulates.  As the rest of the fleet breaks off toward the battle, Han contemplates how good it feels to be back in the Falcon where he belongs:

He belonged in this cockpit, with good old Chewie in the copilot’s seat.  But even that wasn’t the same.  Leia sat behind the huge Wookiee, wearing a gray combat coverall belted around her waist, leaning forward as if she thought she ought to be copilot instead.  Well.  He’d give Leia everything he owned, the whole galaxy if he could swing it, but she wouldn’t bump Chewie out of that chair.  Yeah, she’d handled the Falcon just fine during a couple of emergencies.  But even a smuggler drew the line somewhere.

The way I feel about these particular thoughts is indicative of how I felt about the way Han and Leia are written during most of this book.  Some of it is nice and I think rings true, but then some of it doesn’t.  I can see Leia leaning forward and doing a little ‘back seat driving’ even, but I don’t think she would want to bump Chewie out of his copilot seat and I don’t think Han would think she did.  And something just bugs me about the ‘even a smuggler’ bit.

Okay, so the Falcon makes its way to some safe port to wait out the space battle.  There’s a small instance where Han wonders if Leia is insulting his ship.  This insecurity/awkwardness will be dwelled upon during much of the first part of this book.  Now, in some ways I can understand this…maybe.  They really are just starting their relationship and when opening yourself up to someone you can start off being guarded.  And I’m not the type of person that thinks everything was rainbows and unicorns for them after ROTJ.  I can believe that their relationship had to have had gone through some growing pains.  But for some reason, the insecurities that are alluded to in this book just don’t seem totally appropriate for Han, in my opinion.  After everything they have been through, I just don’t see Han being sensitive to her remarks in this way.

Anyway, during their ‘down time’ we are treated to an almost infamous EU scene when, in anticipation of some alone time with Leia during their trip, Han recruited Chewie to fix up the main hold for the couple. 

He only hoped Chewie had gotten it right.  The big Wookiee was a master mechanic, but his aesthetic sense wasn’t, well, human.

As he leads Leia toward the hold under the false pretense that something on the Falcon needed fixing, Leia slowly catches on to him:

Abruptly Leia realized that was no combat glimmer in his eyes.

Han produces a bottle of something he had gotten from the old Ewok medicine man:

Han yanked on the plug.  “Berry…wine of some…sort,” he grunted.  The plug popped free.  “Goldenrod about split a resistor translating, but the gist of what the fuzzy guy said was, ‘To ignite the heart that’s beginning to warm’.”

So that’s what he was up to.  “Hey, we’re at war.”

“We’ll always be at war.  When are you going to live?”

Leia felt her cheeks heat.  She’d rather talk, argue, even fight with Han than hide out and sip… berry wine? ...with a battle going on.  As Bail Organa would’ve pointed out, this man wasn’t even appropriate company for someone of her upbringing.  He wanted to solve all his problems with a blaster.  She was a princess by adoption, if not by birth.

First of all, I should mention that following this, Leia has some thoughts about accepting Darth Vader as her father and of course, she is not having an easy time of it.  This will also be a recurring theme in this book (no, I don’t have a problem with this theme – just thought I should mention it). 

Second of all, I don’t like Leia’s thoughts here regarding Han being ‘appropriate company’ for her.  I think if she did have any reservations about that, she would’ve dealt with those thoughts long before now and especially before she ditched the Alliance and went off to rescue him.  And although she might be surprised by Han’s effort here, IDK that she would be totally turned off by it as she appears to be.  Amused, maybe?  But I’ve got to think at this point that there are other things she would rather do with Han than talk, argue or fight.

Anyway, after a brief exchange, the pair makes their way further into the hold and find what Chewie had done in the name of romance.  Apparently it was just a bunch of inflatable pillows, which didn’t impress Han much as he said:

“Wait till I tell that big wet-nosed furball-”

Still laughing, she braced herself against the bulkhead and shoved him over backward.  He caught her hand and went down flailing.

Well, that wasn’t such a bad way to end a chapter…

Unfortunately the couple isn’t afforded much alone time as some of the alien ships find the Falcon’s hiding spot.  Chewie comms Han and when the comm unit beeps in his pocket the book indicates that “Leia wriggled in Han’s arms” and that she had just been on the verge of relaxing.  I thought it was cute as the two are reluctantly leaving their romantic hideaway in the main hold, Leia does a famous Han quote of “It’s not my fault!”

Plot stuff:  We meet a human that is being held captive by the aliens whose name is Dev Sibwarra.  Apparently these aliens (the Ssi-ruuk), utilizing Dev’s Force sensitivity (yes, this is the first of a long line of Force sensitives that our heroes will stumble across over the years) ‘entech’ humans – capturing their souls and powering their electronics (from small fighters to their large ship’s main systems).  Dev is a tragic character, torn away from his Force sensitive mother at a young age and manipulated by these aliens, he receives several tortuous mind wipes to keep him in line.

The Falcon’s crew rejoins the battle after being chased from their hiding place and an unofficial truce is accepted between Peter Thanas (of the Bakuran military) and the Alliance.  After temporarily repelling the alien invaders, Luke and the crew of the Falcon land on Bakura to work on the details of the truce.  I liked at one part before they landed Leia was stating that she was extremely nervous and didn’t like the situation.  Then this from Han:

Han eyed Chewie, who whuffled softly.  Yeah, maybe she was picking up a sense of self-preservation.  Skywalkers seemed to be born without it. 

Our heroes meet with the Bakurans as the Falcon lands at a spaceport.  During initial introductions, when Leia informs the Bakurans that the Emperor and Darth Vader have both been eliminated, Leia thinks that Luke wants her to say more, perhaps about Vader’s late turn to the good side.  But Leia thinks this:  Maybe Vader had died heroically, but ten minutes’ contrition didn’t make up for years’ of atrocities.  I think this is definitely how she would feel.

Immediately following that, she introduces Han who was supposed to bow or at least shake hands.  Instead, he stood aside with a flat, disapproving expression.  At this rate, he would never make a diplomat.  I can believe that Leia may have a quick thought such as this, but deep down she knows that Han is Han and that is why she loves him – not to be a diplomat.  Of course, Luke bows beautifully just like she ‘coached’ him and of course, that’s part of the reason he didn’t end up with the girl!  Well, that and the whole sibling thing.

They are all led to a conference room where Luke first stumble across a little romantic interest in this novel in the form of a young, attractive Bakuran female Senator named Gaeriel Captison.  There’s some political truce talk and then as they are all leaving to find their quarters and get dressed for dinner at the Governor’s house, an Alderiaan stormtrooper does some quick, harmless flirting with Leia – much to Han’s chagrin.

Everybody gets dressed for dinner.  Luke wonders in what ‘pre-Alliance adventure’ did Han find his outfit and I drew a mental picture of that tight black number that he had to wear when he was a magician’s assistant in the Han Solo trilogy novels.  But I’m sure that’s not quite what he had on.  Anyway, it’s hinted that Han and Leia had a fight regarding whether or not it was appropriate for Chewie to accompany them to dinner seeing as how Imperials are notorious for their intolerance of aliens.  Han won the argument but ‘lost the war’ as Leia ignored him for the rest of the evening.

In the morning, an apparition of Darth Vader appears to Leia asking for forgiveness and after a curt conversation, she asks him if he plans to ask Han for forgiveness as well.  Vader replies ‘only through you’.  And Leia says this:

“I can almost forgive you torturing me.  And the evils you did to other people – because those drove so many worlds into the Alliance.  But cruelty to Han…no.  If you want to go through me, you won’t get his forgiveness.  Never.”

Unfortunately, right after defending the nerfherder so eloquently, Leia leaves her room and runs into Han in the common area.  When she mumbles something about ‘he can’t do this to me’, Han immediately assumes she is talking about that flirting Alderaanian and asks her as much.  She flies into a fit over his ‘petty jealousy’ and Han just about storms out of the apartment before she calls him back and apologizes.

She takes her hair down, somewhat provocatively and they kiss (of course, I’ll share it):

“I’m sorry,” she whispered, straightening her neck.  She held her lips near his chin.

Accepting the invitation, he bent and kissed her.  She felt her life energy draw up into the kiss until nothing existed but barely perceptible movements of Han’s mouth.  She flattened her hands on his shoulders.  His legs shifted toward her.  All perception vanished but the taste of his breath.  Her pulse quickened in her ears.

The comm center blatted behind him.

Yep, that’s about right.

I should probably have more plot stuff to share, but suffice it to say, they are still trying to figure out a way to fight the aliens and there are some people they trust on Bakura and some they don’t.

Later on, Luke and Leia are talking and Luke senses Leia ‘tingling with eagerness’.  He says:  “Let it flow, Leia.  He loves you.”  She admits that it has been rough between her and Han but that they went walking and talked a little.  Luke realizes he must’ve interrupted something earlier (he was the one who rang their comm unit) and then he asks Leia if she and Han would be opposed to having children.  Leia says, “That isn’t an issue.”  And then proceeds to tell Luke about her visit from Vader.  

Finally, Luke tells her, “Go to Han.  I’ll leave you alone.”

Okay, so this is where people speculate that Han and Leia consummate their relationship in the EU since their relationship seems much better throughout the rest of the book.  Well, let me tell you – if it is it is VERY subtle.  First of all, we don’t see or hear from them for quite a while (go Han!).  But we do have this exchange between Luke and Han that hints heavily that something happened:

“And it is my imagination,” Luke came back, “or are you just a little more pleased with yourself?”

Han paused midstep.  “What’s this?  I suppose you’re going to ask my intentions toward your sister?”

Okay, maybe that isn’t too subtle.

So, things start happening here on Bakura.  The bad Bakurans turn on our heroes and Luke dresses Threepio up in stormtrooper armor and sends him off on a speeder toward the Falcon and an unsuspecting Chewbacca who ends up blasting the ill-disguised droid.  That was pretty funny.  Leia is kidnapped and Han goes off to her rescue.  When Luke reaches out to ‘feel’ for Leia, he thinks this:

In that instant, he found Leia.  Very busy, very excited.  Han had obviously found her.

Now, of course, she is busy and excited trying to escape, but I thought that sounded funny, you know what I mean…in light of their previous conversation.  Okay, maybe I’m weird.

A few things that I noted during the ensuing action.  At one point, back up in the space battle, Han states that they won’t shoot the Imperials first and then thinks:  There wasn’t much future for a smuggler with a conscience.  Evidently the Alliance was stuck with him.  And then that girl that Luke was crushing on, she has to make some tough choices and while doing so she thinks (as inspiration): What had Leia Organa endured as an Imperial senator?  I like to think that Leia inspired many, many people that she might not even be aware of.

So, at one point during the battle the Bakurans turn on the Alliance and a hasty retreat is called by Han after losing their one, big cruiser that they had brought to Bakura.  After Han tells everyone to hi-tail it, Leia adds over the comm:  “Scatter the fire of the Rebellion.  It will flare up everywhere the tinder is dry.” 

When Leia enters the cockpit a short while later, Han waved one soot-streaked hand gallantly at the co-pilot’s seat.  Little gestures like that – not pillows or berry wine – made her love him.

So basically at this point, Luke is stuck on board the alien mothership, thought to be dead or definitely dying and the Falcon is about to perform a suicidal ramming to knock out the remaining Imperial forces.  Han tried to get Leia to take an escape pod and save herself but she will have no part of it.  Of course, Luke manages to stay alive and the Falcon doesn’t have to ram the ship and everything works out in the end. 

After the battle is over, Luke asks Leia if Han can land the Falcon on some spaceport roof and Leia responds:  “Han can land the Falcon on an ice cube if he wants to.”  It doesn’t say, but I have to imagine that Han appreciated that compliment.

After Bakura overthrows their Imperial rule and agrees to join the Alliance, Luke gets to kiss Gaeriel but he must leave her to lead Bakura while he goes off to rebuild the Jedi Order.  Leia makes a small sort of peace with Anakin Skywalker, deciding that if he was watching over her it wouldn’t bother her that much.  And that was pretty much it.

As usual, I totally murdered the plot synopsis – I know.  But as always, you can read that sort of thing on Wookieepedia if you are really interested.  I rated this book as a 3 but Zyra thought it was a 3.5, so I’m going to go with an official 3+ stars to meet in the middle. 

I didn’t quote a lot of it, but Han and Leia are very childish and unHan/Leia like at the beginning of the book in my opinion.  I think that Leia pretty much treats Han like a stupid idiot and I don’t know how he put up with it.  It is just not as I see them at this point in time (if ever, I mean even pre-ESB I don’t think she would’ve treated him like an idiot).  Like I said, growing pains in their relationship – yes.  But not like this.    But the story wasn’t bad and these Ssi-ruuk aliens show up again in a later book, I forgot which one but Jaina is in it and older so it’s a pretty long way away.

Sorry this review was late but holiday traveling and all that held me up!  Hope you all had a Happy Thanksgiving!!

Quickie Challenge (#6)

You didn't think we were done with these yet, did you?

The following story was submitted by julz once she finally accepted that she couldn't find her original and decided to rewrite it. Thanks for persevering!

Correllian Engineering Systems rates the standard YT-1300 with a passenger capacity of six, in addition to a pilot, co-pilot, navigator, astrogator, and two gunners. The specs are, presumably, based upon an average Corellian human.

Right at the moment, though, there were nine humans, two droids, and one Wookiee on board, and the Falcon was bursting at the seams.

It would be at least two more standard days before the ship made port on Courscant and the Falcon's captain was not a happy man. His back was killing him, and he was nearly cross-eyed with fatigue.

He'd just spent three weeks in the Outer Rim, and had been looking forward to returning to Courscant and enjoying a little of his accumulated leave time. When he'd learned that Leia had already left for Pandir and would be gone for several more weeks herself, he'd changed his mind about taking time off. It hadn't been all that difficult to convince General Willard to send him and Chewie to collect the Ambassador and her team, although eyebrows had been raised. He suspected that Willard knew full well why he'd volunteered for the assignment.

It didn't matter. He'd get to see her at least a week sooner than he would have otherwise, and with luck, he might finagle a day or two of holiday on the way home.

It hadn't worked out quite the way he'd hoped.

The election had gone badly for the candidates supported by the New Republic, and the victors had been anxious to have the Ambassador and her entourage off planet as quickly as possible, ending further public discussions about the touchy subject of New Republic membership once and for all.

The few remaining council members who supported annexation had decided to take their case to Courscant. They'd gathered at the capitol's spaceport, hoping to hitch a ride on whatever New Republic transport arrived to escort the Princess home.

Unfortunately a few members of their party were rather trigger-happy and when the dust settled, six council members were dead on the tarmac, and five of them were holed up in the Falcon's crew cabin, getting a free, if slow, ride to Courscant. The para-light boosters had been damaged by blaster fire at close range, and the Falcon could not sustain a hyperspace jump for any extended length of time. She was now limited to mini-jumps of an hour or less, and she needed a good two hours to recharge the remaining boosters between jumps.

Han had spent the better part of three days calculating and executing short hyperspace hops, slept badly for four nights running on a couch in the central lounge, and hadn't been alone with Leia for more than ten minutes in all that time.

This was partly his fault, as he'd been rather testy when he'd found out that while he and Chewie were mopping up the mess in the landing bay, she'd been conducting negotiations with the hijackers. Whom she had insisted were her guests. Diplomatic guests, with diplomatic privleges.

By the time he'd found out what she'd been up to, the Falcon had already taken off, and General Solo had found himself outmaneuvered.

They were eating his food, tramping yellow dust all over his ship, and just flat being underfoot. Every time he turned around, someone was there. Sitting on the couches in the lounge, while he and Leia watched a holo drama. Playing games at the holochess board with Chewie. Always complaining about something.

It didn't get any better at night. The guests slept on bunks in the crew cabin. The General, the Wookiee, and the two security officers accompanying Leia to Pandir slept on the couches in the lounge. And Leia slept on the bunk in the medical alcove.

By the second day, Han had taken refuge in the relative quiet of the cockpit.

Setting the coordinates for the next jump, he launched the ship into hyperspace yet again. Four, maybe five more jumps, and they'd be home. Probably not tomorrow. But the next day, for sure.

He stretched and cracked his back. Time to get up and walk around a little. The intercom buzzed and his copilot's voice filled the cockpit. ["Solo! Are you in the cockpit?"]

"Where else would I be?" Han snapped back, irritably.

["Would you come down to the maintenance bay? I need another set of hands down here."]

"You makin' any progress bringing any of those boosters back up?"

["Some."]

"All right, all right. Gimme a minute or two, I got a couple more things to do up here."

Han spun his chair, in preparation to leave the cockpit, and was startled to discover the Princess standing in the doorway. "Hey," she said, smiling.

"Well, hey." He dropped back into his seat.

Leia walked into the cockpit and settled into the navigator's chair, behind his. "Is it always this quiet up here?"

"Not when Chewie's here."

"Still better than back there. They never shut up."

"They're your guests, sweetheart."

"I know. I know."

He leaned back in his seat and stretched, wincing with pain as he rotated his stiff shoulders. She rotated her own chair and rested her hands, gently, at the base of his neck. "You been in this chair for three days straight?"

"Nah, I been trying to sleep in the lounge, a little. How're you doin' on the med bunk?"

"All right." She knew better than to complain, since she knew where he was sleeping.

His fingers led hers to the knots in his shoulders and she began to massage his aching muscles. It felt so good that it took him a moment to realize it when her touch changed, becoming more sensual. When her lips brushed the back of his neck, though, he gave a low growl. "Don't start something you can't finish, Leia."

"Who says I can't finish it?" she whispered, her voice a soft brush against his skin.

"We have company, in case you've forgotten."

Without a word, she rose from her chair, crossed the cabin to the hatch, and threw the bolt.

He felt a stirring of hope.

"What are you doing, Princess?"

"What do you think I'm doing?"

"I think," he said, drawing her between his knees as she turned from the hatch, "that you are up to no good."

"Me?" she teased. "I can't imagine where you'd get that idea."

His hands slid along her ribs and traced the curve of her hips. His voice dropped to a low rumble. "Are you wearing underwear?" She giggled as he found a particularly ticklish spot behind her knee, and she sank forward, settling comfortably on his lap.

She leaned her forehead against his, and they laughed, softly, together.

Her fingers began working at his buttons and belt buckle, "You know, Princess, I've had some really, really, good dreams that start off this way," he teased.

"Really? This is what men dream about? Sex in random places on a spaceship?"

"Well, yeah. What do women dream about?"

"I don't know... when I dream there's usually a BED involved."

"How boring," he murmured, his lips against her neck. "No exotic locales?"

"Um..." she was finding it hard to concentrate. "Maybe a beach, sometimes."

"A beach? I like the sound of that. Tell me what else you dream about."

She pulled away from him a moment and looked down, fondly, into his smiling face. "I dream about you, you scoundrel. Isn't that enough? Do I have to imagine being ravished in the cockpit?"

"You don't have to imagine it, honey. You're gonna BE ravished in the cockpit." His hands slid inside her shirt, and his palms were warm against her skin.

She tangled her fingers in the hair at the back of his neck, and drew his head forward, between her breasts. "You might want to start here," she whispered.

He took the hint and made quick work of her buttons, lifting her shirt over her head to gain better access. He set to work with tongue and teeth and lips and she gave a low moan of pleasure, arching her back.

"Let your hair down," he murmured, and she complied, undoing the twisted braids that circled her head. Her hair fell in a shining curtain around them and he buried his face in it, breathing in the scent that was uniquely hers.

In a moment their clothes were in a crumpled heap on the deck and she was straddling him, sliding smoothly down along his length and taking him inside her. She ground her pelvis against his and he gasped as she clutched, hard, at his shoulders. "Gods, Leia." He reached up and caught her wrists, redirecting her hands onto the back of the captain's chair. Bracing herself against the chair, she lifted her hips again, and then his hands were on her backside, pulling her back down. Two fingers slid between her folds and found her center as she rocked in his lap, and the stimulation was more than she could take. Giving herself over to the pleasure, she cried out and fell forward, heavily, against his shoulder.

He nuzzled at her neck, kissing his way along the line of her jaw. Her mouth opened beneath his, yielding to his exploring tongue as it circled in rhythm with the movements his hips were making beneath her. She broke the kiss, gasping for a breath, and turned her face away from his, her cheek against his shoulder.

"Come on, sweetheart," he grunted, "we aren't done here yet."

She directed his hungry mouth back to her breasts. "Then you aren't done here yet, hot shot." He was happy to oblige.

"Chewie's going to kill you," she gasped, pressing down hard against him, drawing him in deep, "when he smells this chair."

Han released her aching nipple and his mouth traveled back up to lick at the throbbing pulse that beat in the hollow of her throat. "Yeah, he probably is." She arched backward again, her whole body trembling with the effort. "But it'll be worth it." He slid his hands down to the small of her back, holding her steady as she ground her hips against his. "That"s it, baby," he coaxed, "let go." He held back his own release until she gave a long, shuddering cry, and fell forward against his collarbone. He felt her settle, bonelessly, against his lap, and wrapped his arms tight around her ribs, thrusting upward with all his strength, grunting with the effort as he gave himself over to the spasms of pleasure that erupted from his aching member.

They stayed there for several minutes, tangled in each other and in the chair, her head resting on his shoulder, their breathing heavy and ragged.

"Wow," she managed, at last. "Wow."

He kissed the hollow beneath her ear. "Wow, indeed."

As she leaned down to reach for the clothes they'd tossed aside so hastily, the intercom on the console behind them burst into life, and the cabin filled once more with the voice of an extremely irate Wookiee.

["Solo!"]

Sheepishly, Han rose from the chair, setting her carefully on her feet on the deck as he stretched out an arm to press the talk button. "I'm still here, Chewie. Hang on."

["You've been screwing around up there for a half hour. Will you get your ass down here and help me?"]

There you have it. A great contribution and I'm sure I'm not alone in saying I'm glad you didn't give up when you lost what you originally wrote!

And once again, if anyone at any time would like to submit to this challenge, please, feel free!

Things Star Wars People Would be Thankful For

We've been a bit lacking in posts lately, I know. So this is a bit of a lame attempt to give us something to talk about. What would our favorite Star Wars characters be thankful for?

Han Solo:

Princesses

The Falcon

His kids

Luke

Chewie

Slave girl outfits

Stylish vests

His blaster

His incredible good looks

Alcohol

Long flights to Bespin at sublight

Sabacc

Leia Organa Solo

Scoundrels

Her children

Her brother

Chewie

Peace in the galaxy

Han's tight pants

Han's lopsided grin

The Falcon

Dead Hutts

That she was the twin sent to live as royalty instead of as a moisture farmer on a planet in the middle of nowhere.

Luke Skywalker

• His family
• The Force
• Red-heads
• Lightsabers
• No longer living on Tatooine
• Life-like prosthetic limbs
• X-wings
• The fact that even though he was basically "the last of the Jedi" according to Yoda, once he established his Jedi Academy there were suddenly Force-sensitives popping up all over the place.
  

Chewbacca

His lifedebt family

His Wookiee family and the fact that they don't seem to mind that he never sees them

Bowcasters

Food

Bandoleers

Combs

Droids

Good-hearted scoundrels who free Wookiees from slavery

Food

Lando Calrissian

Women

His ability to charm women

His ability to attract women with his incredible good looks

His incredible good looks

Capes

Fast ships

Low-cut dresses

Gambling

Moustaches

More women

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!