Tuesday, June 11, 2013

Guest Submission: Her Beautiful Back by AnnaFan

Warning:  Mature Content Ahead!

A/N: Inspired by a discussion on Han and Leia fanfic writer's blog, about sexual conservatism in fanfic. Someone suggested this was due to most sex in fanfic being driven by the need to show emotional connection, hence face to face, hence “no reverse cowgirl.” So this is my attempt at an emotionally driven reverse cowgirl.

Her Beautiful Back by AnnaFan

Disclaimer: I don't own anything connected with Star Wars.

Rating: M

So, I'm lying on my bed. Looking at Leia's back. Her beautiful, naked back. Now most men, if you asked them what turned them on, would say breasts, ass, legs. And I'm not saying they don't do it for me. Course they do. But Leia's back does it for me too. Big time. Toned, lithe, muscles from combat training, but smooth too, curving down to her tiny waist. Gods, it's a beautiful back.

And I'm wondering how the hell it got to this stage. From “D'ya think a princess and a guy like me?” From the silent treatment. From her highness being too good for a guy like me. From the fights. From that conversation the night we had to put a drunken Luke to bed. The one where she just happened to mention she was, let's say, a bit more experienced than I'd reckoned. From the odd moments where we found a grudging respect for one another. To both of us, naked in bed. To me, lying here, staring at her.

It was one of the fights. I'd set out to wind her up. It'd worked. She'd gotten mad, jabbing her finger at me, telling me just what sort of a low-life I was. I'd called her stuck up, frigid. They were some of the better things. I'm not proud of it. But she gave as good as she got. Then suddenly she was up close, in my personal space. And I could smell her. And I knew I wanted her. Hell, I'd known that for a long time. But the difference this time was her eyes. Her dark brown eyes, like the strongest caffe I ever saw. The eyes that were dark with desire. Yeah, anger too, but mostly desire. She wanted me. As much as I wanted her. I could see it in her face. Gods, I could smell it. Even so, I wasn't ready for her next words.

“Gods, Han, fuck me. Let me fuck you.” So we did. Desperate, driven by desire, scrabbling, consumed by need. The first time. But not the last. But it's always the same. A frantic coupling. Then she scrambles out of bed (or off the desk, or the packing crate, or wherever we've been when need has overtaken us). She pulls on her clothes and is gone. There are no kisses, no tender words, no languid mornings in bed together.

I heard her one day, talking to Luke.

“I guess I'd always thought in terms of settling down with someone like me. Someone committed to political change. But on a personal level, someone who shares my interests, love of culture, interest in books, music.” I hadn't stuck around to hear any more. Not someone like me. Someone as far from me as possible. That's what I was hearing. But that was okay. Because I wanted what she wanted. A fuck buddy. Only I'm not sure we were even buddies. More like frenemies with benefits.

So that's how it got to this stage. I'm looking at her beautiful back, and she's riding me. Her hips move, a steady rhythm. Her fingers are between my legs. She's stroking me. I'm wild with desire. Any man would be. It's everything a man could want. Everything I want. Except that it isn't.

I want to see her face. I want to see her eyes. Not just dark with lust. I want to see them filled with more. I don't know what. Hell yeah, I do know. But I'm not going to say it. Not even to myself. Because I don't think I'll ever get it. So I lie on my bed. I look at her beautiful back.


  1. Annafan, you had me at "emotionally driven reverse cowgirl." ;-)
    This was a really interesting take on these two! And given their backgrounds and differences, a totally plausible one that could've been presented to us. I liked this! I enjoyed the different change of pace.

    It was also cool seeing Han as the one who wanted more while Leia was the one keeping the "emotional connecting" stuff at bay. Anyway, nice work! Speaking of which, now I'm late for work.....

  2. Wow! You wrote, plausibly and elegantly, of a much more experienced Leia! It's a very sexy fic, and I like how Leia was disallowing the emotional connection, which one doesn't read much!

    Thanks for writing, sharing, and stretching my horizons!

  3. Thanks for sharing this!

    Leia' s bombshell line is almost hard to read at first: it brings me to a hard stop. But then I read it again and suddenly I'm right there with you. Your Leia isn't 100% canonical, but somehow she is perfectly in character in a very grown up GFFA.

    And as I've told you, love this voice! I hope we get to hear more of it.

    Will you be keeping up your streak of shocker lines from Leia? It occurs to me that "Tell Me About the First Time" has one too. :-)

  4. Liked this very much. This was originally the relationship Han and Leia were supposed to have in ESB. I saw some sort of original,marked up script where Han is in Leia's room watching her brush her hair in the opening and the bed is all messed up, implying they were in bed together. They do end up trapped on the Falcon at some point, he plays his hand accusing her of being in love with Luke and she tells him she's not in love with anybody. They get thrown together on the floor and they end up rolling around kissing. And they showed a rumpled bed in the Falcon scene too so they must have stayed busy. LOL. I think the great flanneled one managed to get the copies pulled because it vanished. It definitely would have been a different take. Obviously Han always loved her and she was covering her feelings up.

    1. Wow - just saw your post. That's so interesting. And it really fits with how I interpreted the film when I saw it (aged 14, gulp) when it first came out. I'm in the "they definitely did it on the journey to Bespin" school of thought.

    2. KD solo, can we have more info on the source for this? I've read the Leigh Brackett script and it's not mentioned in there, although granted it does imply that they have had a thing going on prior to the events on Hoth.

  5. Thanks for the positive feedback.

    I'm not sure all the stories I write will have Leia this emotionally disengaged - this really was inspired by the throwaway (and very funny) comment on the reverse cowgirl that someone made (sorry, I've forgotten who, and it's late at night here). But I am quite keen on a non-virginal Leia. I just don't like the "Regency Romance" overtones of the older, experienced man showing the young ingenue the ropes. (Oo-err, maybe there's an inspiration for another story pushing the boundaries of sexual conservatism in that last remark).

    As you know, Lady Peter, I love subverting readers' expectations, so there will be more shocker lines, I'm sure. And thanks for the comments on the draft - I think the second paragraph reads much better having taken your suggestions on board.

    1. So I have to chime in on the "older man showing the ingénue the ropes." I personally never took Han and Leia's relationship that way. Actually I never gave the fact that Han was older than Leia any thought and probably as a kid didn’t realize he was that much older than her. Of course now I’m like wow, he is quite a bit older isn’t he? :) I always took it as a loving couple and it didn’t really matter who was older or whatever. And if Leia was innocent in the ways of sex during the movies, I doubt she was innocent in the ways of the galaxy given her upbringing and time on Corsucant. And I’m sure Leia can handle anything thrown at her. :) Just my humble opinion…

    2. I'm sure it can be done well. Just not so sure I could do it that way. But I'm always interested to see other people tackle it, and manage it well ("Into the Fire" being an obvious example).

  6. This was an interesting take on these two and a good read. You did a great job showing Han's frustration and desire for more from her than what he's getting. I would have preferred that the position was meaningful to both of them and not just Han, but that's just me.

  7. This is a great AU look at Han and Leia, an interesting perspective. I love how he's so enamoured with her back, that's kind of sexy and something we've not heard before. But apologies, I'm not getting how this is meaningful. Casual sex is not iintended to be meaningful. That's not to say it's not well written, it was a good read.

  8. Like the wallpaper. Looks like Our Man is in Paris.

  9. Claire1976 I'm not sure of the source of that script.I just remember, it was handwritten and some parts were crossed out and marked on. I read it several years ago when I first got into fanfic. When I went back later to find it, I inquired on one of the boards and all I could gather was that some other people had seen it too and that it had been pulled down. If I can find it again I will send a link.

  10. That was a very different story about them on this blog, but it totally worked for me!:) And taking too much drunken Luke to bed was Very funny! I'd read more of it.

  11. Sorry, I'm late to the commenting. And, by the way, it was me who made the crack about "meaningful reverse cowgirl sex." ;)

    Definitely a different take on their relationship. I'll admit, to me, this seems out of character but I can still enjoy the story. I know, who's to say? It's just not how I see them, and especially her. But what is in character is Leia trying to maintain her emotional distance. And I can certainly see Han having a very hard time with that if she refused to let there be something more. I especially could sense his heartbreak when he overhears her telling Luke about the kind of man she'd be interested in, and how it is basically nothing like him.

    Thanks for the alternative look at how things could've gone.

  12. This made me feel so sad for Han and although this isn't how I see my 'canon' Leia, I can envision her letting go like this (physically but not emotionally). Great piece.