Wednesday, July 17, 2013

Han's Birthday Challenge: Submission #1 by StatsGrandma

 The following story was submitted by StatsGrandma in response to Han's birthday challenge.

Surprise!  You're 50!

"Thanks, Mrs. Solo, that was like the best party ever!"  The last of the guests for the twins' birthday party said as she departed. 

"That was the most fun ever,"  Jaina said to her mother.  "You give great birthday party, Mom.  Oh, thanks, Daddy."  She planted a kiss on her father's cheek. 

"I think this little one's toast,"  Han said, picking up four year old Jarik.  "I'm taking him upstairs."

"You just wanna get out of cleaning," Jacen remarked.  The party had been held at their apartment complex's recreation area. The two large swimming pools had been the site of much of the day time activity, and later on, karaoke had been the highlight of the night, much silliness and laughter everywhere.

"You're right."  Han exited with the little one over his shoulder.

"I'm tired, too.  I should go with Dad."  Anakin made his move.

Han was close enough to hear that.  "Not even, kiddo!  Get cracking!"

"Nice try,"  Leia said, ruffling the twelve year old's hair.  "Just grab a trash holder and throw stuff in."  Anything that Leia could purchase as disposable, she did.  It simplified cleanup and there was no breakage, two qualities that were important when it came to a horde of teenagers and a minimal number of adults.  A few had stuck around, allegedly to help chaperone and more specifically to drink. 

"We should give Daddy a birthday party,"  Jaina said as she emptied the beverage containers.  "A surprise party."

"I don't think Dad likes surprises,"  Jacen said skeptically. 

"It depends upon the surprise,"  Leia said. 

"But he's gonna be 50," Jaina said.  "I mean, he's getting old.  We should have something special for him before he gets real old."

"I want you to call your father old to his face and see what happens,"  Leia challenged her.

"Well, I mean, not like he's real old or anything like that,"  Jaina backpedaled.  "But before he does."

"His birthday's in two weeks.  That's not a lot of planning time,"  Leia reminded her.

"But it'd be cool,"  Jacen said.

"Yeah!  A birthday party for Dad!  Can I invite all my friends?"  Anakin said, bouncing up and down. 

"You can invite some friends. But it has to be mostly Daddy's friends,"  Jaina explained

"We'd have to invite the band,"  Jacen said. 

"And we could get Uncle Chewie to do something with him so when they get here everyone can yell 'surprise!'" Jaina added eagerly.  "And what about all his work friends, like Uncle Wedge and Uncle Biggs?"

Leia eyed the kids skeptically.  "You really think your father wants this?"

"Course he does," Jacen added confidently.  "It'll be great."

"You know that I have a three day conferene I have to attend on Selonia this week,"  Leia reminded them.  "I'm not going to be able to help you as much as I should."

"That's okay, Mom, we got it covered!"  Anakin said cheerfully. 

"What about Daddy's smuggling buddies?"  Jaina added. 

"We gotta have them,"  Jacen agreed.

"Our birthday cake was good.  Where'd you get it?"  Jacen asked Leia.

"Greatest Galactic Bakery." 

"Yeah, we could do that,"  Jacen said.

"You'll need credits,"  Leia reminded them. 

"We were hoping you'd give us some,"  Jaina said, smiling.

"I can give you some.  But none of you are old enough to buy intoxicants."

"Uncle Chewie can do it,"  Jacen said. 

"Make sure you ask Uncle Chewie first,"  Leia warned them.  "I'm sure he'd help, but make sure you ask.  It's not nice to assume."

"Cause when you assume, you make an ass outta you and me,"  Anakin finished.

"And you heard that where?"  Leia demanded.

"Dad, of course," Anakin answered, all innocence.

"We need food,"  Jacen reminded them.  Jacen was currently eating them out of house and home and Anakin was starting to offer competition. 

"Well, it seems as if you three have thought about this a lot,"  Leia remarked.

"At least for half an hour,"  Jaina told her.

For them, Leia reminded herself, that is long term thinking.


The three kids proposed their idea to Chewie, who was remarkably enthusiastic about it.  He promised to order the food and intoxicants.

"We need games,"  Anakin said.

{Sabacc is always good}, Chewie told them.

"No, something really fun and silly,"  Jaina insisted.

{Hmm.  How about pin the blaster on the bounty hunter?}

"I like it,"  Jacen said.  "Or we could use the people that write for those horrible holotabloids."

{That works, too, but you have to get the adults really drunk.}

"That's going to be a problem?"  Jaina asked skeptically.

{I think your bigger problem will be them passing out all over the place.}

"Works for me," Jacen said. 

{Did you forget about your dad's students?}

"Yeah, let's invite them, too,"  Anakin said.  "More is better."

"But we have to do something to keep Daddy out of here on the day of the party," Jaina said to Chewie.

{I can arrange a short emergency run to someplace nearby.}

"Wow, this is great!"  The three hugged Chewie enthusiastically.


Leia was amazed when she arrived back home; the kids and Chewie had done a remarkable job of planning the event.  They'd gotten Lando to help out, and Sapphire, one of Han's old smuggling buddies, had helped them out as well. 

"This is gonna be the best party ever,"  Jaina told her mother.

"And we're gonna put datapads everywhere with Smugglers' Run.  That was my idea,"  Anakin said proudly.

"It sounds like it.  You guys really planned this well." 


The morning of Han's birthday arrived.  "Happy fiftieth,"  Leia said, kissing him while they were still in bed.

"Don't remind me,"  Han muttered grumpily. 

At that point, as in the plans, Han's comm signaled an incoming.

"Ah fuck.  Chewie, you bastard," Han hissed.

"What's wrong?"  Leia asked, trying not to smile.

"We've gotta do an emergency medical supply run to Coronet City," Han complained.  "That's gonna take all day."

"Well, don't worry, Hotshot.  You'll be home in plenty of time for the romantic evening I have planned for us."  She kissed him again. 

"What are you doing with the kids?"

"They'll be taken care of, I promise."

Han went to the 'fresher for a shower, and Leia smiled slyly. He really has no idea, she said to herself.


Han had been in an irritable mood all day.  Doing a medical delivery, even to somewhere as close as Coronet City, annoyed him.  It also annoyed him that he'd just added another decade to his life. 

{Leia has a nice evening all planned for you}, Chewie reminded him.

"Yeah, I know."  He was sure Leia would do something very special for him, at least between the sheets.  Maybe then, he told himself, I'd stop feeling so old.


"I hope Dad'll be here soon,"  Jacen said nervously.  The crowd had gathered and was on their way to being in their cups. 

"He's here,"  Jaina said, looking at Leia's comm.  "Mom, go get him."

"I'll be right back."


"Welcome home, Flyboy,"  Leia said, her smile enticing. 

"I see you got rid of the kids."

"I did.  Would you mind coming downstairs with me?  Chewie has something he's been wanting to show you."

Han had been looking forward to something along the lines of seduction by his wife, but agreed to go with her.

They took the lift down to the recreation areas.  "It's in here,"  Leia told him, and opened the door to a darkened room.

All of a sudden, the lights went up, and the large crowd screamed "SURPRISE!"

Han was almost knocked off his feet.

The four kids were standing in front of the crowd.  "Happy birthday, Dad!"  Anakin shouted.

"Happy birthday,"  Jaina said, giving her very startled father a hug and a kiss on the cheek.

Jarik ran over and hugged Han around the legs, and Jacen followed him over.  "Happy birthday, Dad. Whaddya think?  We kids and Chewie planned this."

"It's...uh...amazing!"  Finally, a smile spread across Han's face.  Everyone breathed an audible sigh of relief that Han wasn't going to pull out his blaster.

"It was the kids' idea,"  Leia said.  "They did all the planning.  Chewie did all the purchasing, and I provided the credits.  A nice group effort."

Han kissed Leia.  "This is great, honey." 

"Your kids know how to throw a party.  Maybe I'll hire them out for Luke's 40th,"  Mara said, giving her brother in law a peck on the cheek."

"Hey, that's Leia's 40th, too.  What say we get back at them?"  Han whispered conspiratorily.

"You're on."

"Happy Birthday, you old pirate!  Wait'll you see the cake,"  Lando grinned.

He led Leia and Han over to the cake table, which bore a large cake that was an incredible replica of the Falcon.  "Lando's contribution,"  Leia told him. 

"Well, don't just stand there!"  Sapphire, an old smuggling buddy, said loudly. "We have to toast him and then get him drunk.  Get him a Corellian rum already!"


After many hours of sabacc, drinking, games, karaoke, being thrown in the swimming pool (twice) and eating, the guests filed out.  The kids offered to finish the cleanup. Jarik had gone to bed hours earlier; Chewie and Luke and Mara had alternated child care duties once it was clear the small one had had enough. 

"We've got the cleanup covered,"  Jaina announced. 

"She sounds just like you,"  Han said to Leia.

"Yeah, we'll make it look like no one was ever here,"  Jacen promised.

Han and Leia left the kids to the chores at hand. 

"Thanks for a great party, guys." He turned to Leia and grinned wickedly. "Now what about that romantic evening you promised me?"

"Oh, that comes as part of the package,"  Leia winked at him. 


  1. Aw, that was really sweet. I enjoy your "slice-of-life" kind of stories. :-)

  2. Very nice... good to see the children growing up into normal kids rather than force monsters

  3. Thanks, guys! I do love slice of life need a lot of them to make a loaf.

    I've always been bothered by the characterizations of the Solo kids. I wanted to experiment with them being raised normally. You can be Force sensitive and not go insane, or become child soldiers.

    Leaving for the Caribbean this Sunday morning at 4 am! I'm stoked.

  4. Someone here might be able to answer this question:

    I have reached my 50 document limit at I'm wondering what you can do to keep some of your older stuff up (I still get hits on it) and still put new stuff up.

    In the Caribbean.

    1. First and easiest answer: slow down ;)

      But really, just delete the files. They expire after 60 days and automatically delete. But once they are uploaded there is no reason to have them in the document manager anymore, so just delete ones already up to make room for new ones.

      Also, go be in the Caribbean and write when you get back!

    2. Ah ha! I will remove them from the doc manager!

      Thank you all very much. I will probably write today because it's raining but the pace will be slow :)

    3. Raining? Sounds like a good time to find a lounge and a Mai Tai. Or a scoundrel and a bed. ;)

      That was funny in your story when Jaina called Han old and Leia's reaction. Kids have no idea.

    4. I do hope it's been a good trip overall.

    5. The rain has stopped for a few hours now. Mr. Stats and I had dinner outside at a nearby restaurant and it was lovely. Cleared for a while this afternoon and I went for a walk while Mr. Stats took a very long nap. The forecast looks better for tomorrow.

      As for a scoundrel and a bed, Mr. Stats is here, but that is all you're allowed to know :)

  5. Oops, I only answered your question but never actually commented :)

    You do a really nice job of showing a "normal" life for them and their kids and I love that. And nice to see everyone wanting to do something nice for Han for once, too. Thanks :)

  6. Thanks for the kind reviews, everyone!

    I can't believe we have to leave for home tomorrow. This vacation flew by in a way that's positively profane. OTOH< Tropical Storm Dorian may hit here start of week, so it's probably as good a reason as any to get off the island.

    But still!

  7. Hi ladies: your readers miss you! I hope you're each hanging out on some tropical beach sipping drinks with umbrellas :-)

    1. Yes, we are all fine. Nothing exciting going on, just the usual summer lull. Sorry we aren't keeping things interesting around here. For myself as far as Star Wars is concerned I've just been confused by Crucible whilst clinging to a few good moments in it, and sorely disappointed with the total lack of news on Episode 7!

  8. Yeah, I'm still deciding what I think about Crucible. It seems like Denning had a different ending in mind but was talked out of it. But take heart: Razor's Edge promises to be awesome and is out next month!

  9. OMG. Check out this interview with Harrison and Conan. Too funny. Conan bribes him for details about new movie.

  10. I'm just about to show this to my husband! Loved it. The second half is also is also classic for the extremely rare Genuine Ford Laugh.

    1. Harrison was just too cute wasn't he? Classic. Love that laugh.

    2. That is awesome. Thank you Amara :)

      He's having so much fun with all this isn't he? And people say he doesn't have a sense of humour.

    3. Don't know him very well do they? :) Conan usually has some good clips too. Love the bit with the bribe.