Joint Story, The Sequel: Chapter 4

Secret Marriage

Han Solo was a man that could recognize trouble when he saw it.  Some would say that was because he was trouble himself and it was easy to recognize one’s reflection in a mirror.  Whatever the case, there was trouble waiting for him on the tarmac as he brought the Falcon down for a gentle landing.  Trouble in all capital letters.  Trouble in a deceivingly little package and a deceptively beautiful disguise.

Chewie warfled something from the copilot’s seat.

“Yeah, I know.  I see her,” Han mumbled as he completed the landing and shutdown sequence.

Another questioning bark from Chewbacca and what could only be described as an amused chuckle.

“I don’t know.  Nothing that I can remember.  I’ve been off-planet for kriff’s sake,” he replied coming to his feet.  “What could I’ve done?”

Chewbacca voiced his opinion.

“Funny,” Han mumbled as he turned to exit the cockpit.  “I’ll go run interference.  You come right behind when you’re done and save me, alright?”

The Wookiee chortled his response as Han walked away.

“You know I don’t even have that many credits!” Came Han’s reply as he walked away.  “Besides, I always owe you.  Why don’t you just stop keeping count already?”

Chewbacca said something about owning the Falcon one day, but Han didn’t even bother to comment.  That’ll be the day!

**

She was waiting for him at the edge of the ramp as it touched down on the hangar floor.  Definitely not a good sign. 

“Hiya, Princess!  Ya missed me?”  He said, trying to keep things light.

“You could say that,” she replied, her tone serious.

That had not been the response he had been expecting.  Either she wanted something or he was in more trouble than he had originally feared.  Where the kriff is Chewie?  “Oh, yeah?”  He replied, guardedly.

“Can we talk?” She asked, motioning back toward the ship.

Dive for cover!  Han’s innate survival reflexes were firing up like a repeating blaster.  “Sure,” he replied calmly.  He wasn’t a champion Sabacc player for nothing.  He turned his body and held his hand up toward the ramp, inviting her inside.

She eyed him suspiciously as she walked by.  Han was sure she must be able to smell his fear.  He followed at a safe distance behind her and momentarily forgot his worries as he watched her retreating rear.

“Let me just warn you that I’m in no mood to joke about this,” she said as she turned around to face him.

Han had to lift his gaze up to her face and reorient himself to the problem at hand.  Quickly he scanned his recent memory for anything that he was supposed to know about or something that he might be able to tease her with and came up empty.  “Okay,” he said slowly.  “Not joke about what, exactly?”

She began to dig in one of her pockets and again Han had to fight his ingrained response to pull his blaster on anyone that dug in their pockets during a standoff.  But Leia wouldn’t pull a blaster on him.  Any weapons she might have would be more damaging than any blaster, anyway.

“This,” she said, her voice almost a whisper and Han realized that she was upset.

He took the piece of flimsiplast and read it.  Once he realized what it was he read it again and then once more for good measure.  He understood what it meant.  He even figured out very quickly when it must’ve happened.  What he didn’t know was how to handle the situation with the awaiting Princess. 

His normal response would be to make light of it and possibly tease her about consummating the deal.  But he had already promised not to joke about it and as he glanced back up at her, he couldn’t help but notice how nervous she was.  It was one thing to dish it out when he knew for sure she could handle it, but this would be like kicking a baby bat-falcon out the nest.  He couldn’t remember ever seeing her looking so defenseless.  Does being married to me really freak her out that bad?

“Well,” she said and he looked back up at her.  “Say something,” she practically pleaded.

He looked back down at the piece of paper.  Now was not the time to select his response from his usual repertoire.  When had she ever asked me to say something and not shut up?  He thought he might want to actually try and make her not regret the unusual request.  “Well,” he started.  “It definitely looks like the real deal.”  Then looking back up at her, he said, “I’m guessing this is a little residual reminder from that botched mission on Atzerri?”  Botched mission?  Now, how was that for diplomacy?

He watched as Leia released a long breath, obviously relieved that he had not chosen the snide comments or innuendo that would be his norm.  “That’s a nice way to put it,” she replied.

“I did promise to be nice,” he said with a smile.  Seeing her relax brought the mischievousness out in him.  “Still,” he started, looking back down at the paper.  “That was before I realized that you were my property.”

“Your property?” She snapped and taking a step forward she snatched the flimsi from within his grasp.  “Why am I not surprised that you would have such a barbaric view of marriage?”

Her fuse was way shorter than normal, he realized.  Being Mrs. Solo sure didn’t set well with her.  She turned to walk past him and storm out of the ship, but he caught her by the arm.  “Calm down, Your Hotheadedness.  I was only joking!”

“Exactly!” She replied, yanking her arm free.  “Doing exactly what I asked you not to.  Exactly what you promised you wouldn’t!”

Her eyes shimmered with threatening tears.  She had swung so quickly from irate to distraught that he was momentarily stunned and then quickly felt guilty.  “Alright, alright,” he whispered, grabbing her at the shoulders gently and bending down slightly to get to eye level with her.  “I’m sorry.  I was just trying to lighten the mood.”

“I’m not in the mood to be lightened,” she replied exhaustedly as her shoulders slumped and her chin drooped.

“Okay,” he said straightening up.  “I realize that now.  This is nothing we can’t handle.  Nothing that can’t be undone,” he assured her.  Quickie divorces were just as easy to get as quickie marriages, if not just a little more expensive.  “We’ll just have to go back to Atzerri.”

“And how am I going to manage that?”  She asked.  “I can’t just disappear with you for no legitimate reason whatsoever.”

“You let me worry about that,” he said more confidently than he felt.

“But how-”

He pressed his finger on her lips.  “I don’t want you to worry about this.  I’m going to fix it.  Do you trust me to fix this?”  He asked, praying that she would say yes.  Of course, the fact that he had never told anyone about that botched mission to Atzerri in the first place had bolstered her opinion of him by several parsecs, he was sure.

She seemed to consider his words.  He could almost see her volleying back and forth between trusting him and opting for the title of widow instead.  Finally she nodded her head very slightly and he removed his finger from her lips.

“Good,” he said, taking the flimsi from her.  “Now, you go back and continue on about your business.”  He used his hands to turn her toward the ramp.  “Keep freedom free and justice just and all that.”

She turned as if to argue and he tightened his grip.

“Uh, uh, uh, no arguments,” he chided as he ushered her down the ramp.  “Just sit tight and I’ll figure everything out.”

Once she had stepped off the ramp and her feet hit the tarmac she turned around and looked at him.  “Fine,” she reluctantly conceded.  “But I didn’t expect you to figure it out by yourself.  I’ll see what I can do about getting us to Atzerri.  I should be able to pull some strings.”  She hesitated and then said, “I’ll probably regret saying this, but I feel better now knowing that we’ll figure this out together.  That I’m not all alone worried about this anymore.”  She hesitated again and said, “Thank you.”

“No need to thank me,” Han replied.  “Working together.  That’s what married people do, right?”  He immediately raised his hands up in surrender as her eyes lit with the fire of fury that he could so easily coax from her.  “Joking!” He said through a wide grin.

She glanced around to see who was near and when sufficiently satisfied that no one was in earshot, she took a step toward him and poked her finger in his chest as she said, “Listen to me and listen to me good, Solo.  Laugh all you want.  But if we don’t take care of this, you won’t have to worry about getting married or divorcing me because I’ll see to it that the galaxy is short by one smart-mouthed smuggler and believe me, no one will miss you!”

 “Yes, Your Highnessness,” he replied.  “I get the picture.”

She turned and walked toward the main corridor and he stood there and watched her for a while.  Then glancing down at the flimsi in his hands, he turned and went back up into his ship.

“Hey, Chewie,” he called and the Wookiee roared in reply and came ambling down the cockpit corridor.

Chewbacca started to say something smart about how Han was back in trouble with the Princess, but Han cut him off by stuffing the flimsiplast into the Wookiee’s hairy palm. 

“There,” he said brusquely.  “Consider our debts squared,” Han added as he walked past his copilot down the curved corridor. 

It was a bet they had made years ago when Han had been drunk and pining over the ever-unflappable princess.  Han laid claim that someday, she would be his wife.  Chewie had given him 100 to 1 odds and had gotten a belly ache from laughing at him.  “Who’s laughing now?” Han called back as he slipped into the cockpit. 

The Apocalypse.... Has Apocalypsed

I read it. In one day. That is probably the most reading I've ever done in one day and certainly the only time I've ever read an entire Star Wars book in a day with the exception of a couple of the short kiddie books. First, I was in the unique situation of not really having anything else to do yesterday. Normally I order my books on Amazon but for a new release the delivery is often unpredictable so I didn't want to risk not having the book in my hands as soon as possible. It was $13 more buying it at the store but at least I had a guarantee.

I started reading at about 9:30 in the morning and finished about 9:30 last night. There were a couple of breaks, but most of the time was spent reading. I should also add that I got a 50-page head start when I read - legally - the first few chapters online. I probably wouldn't have felt so compelled to get through it so fast if it weren't for the fact that I had decided not to go read all of the spoilers or skip to the end, so I actually had to read it in order to find out what happened. I didn't even do the usual flip-through to see just how many chapters Han and Leia were in. Okay, a couple of times if I'd have read like thirty pages they weren't in I'd skip ahead to see when they came back, but I wouldn't read what they were doing, just saw the names and went back to where I was.

I'm not going to do a full review as we do for the other books because, well, there's a lot of stuff in it that wouldn't make any sense unless you'd read the other books or we'd at least reviewed them and brought you up to date. And I think I understand why there weren't a lot of spoilers out there for this one. A lot happens but at the same time it's all quite complicated and can't really be explained quickly or easily like, "OMG, Vader is Luke's father!" Or, "OMG, Leia is having twins!" And again, if you are not up to date on these books, almost anything specific I tell you will probably just make you go, "Huh?"

I'll give you some general impressions, though. If you are looking it strictly as a Han and Leia fan it is slightly disappointing. They are great in the scenes they're in, acting how I'd expect them to act, bantering when appropriate, kicking ass in a fight and being grandparents. But they aren't in it a ton. And really they aren't particularly integral to the plot, so why should they have lots of scenes? It's like, they're in the middle of everything but they can't really do that much to help the overall situation. But let's be honest: they're old. They don't really have a role in anything anymore. Maybe it's finally time for them to just retire somewhere. It saddens me a bit to think that we could be done reading about them, but there just doesn't seem to be much else to say.

Aside from Han and Leia, there is a whole lot of intense stuff going on and I was very rarely bored while reading it. Yes, that includes the Luke parts. Maybe it helped that Jaina was quite often with Luke in this one, and she gets to be pretty bad-ass herself, but it's pretty good when I'm not falling asleep in the middle of a chapter wondering when we'll get to something good later. There are a lot of interesting revelations and, somewhat annoyingly, not all questions are answered.

I will say that all of the people we love survive the book. And while there is still some unrest in the galaxy, our people get a nice, happy ending. Troy treated our Han and Leia right, as usual, even if he wasn't given a lot of opportunity to do that much with them.

There's not much else to say about it. If you've been reading the series you will likely enjoy it and there were certainly moments where I was somewhat worried for what might happen. There's a little bit of closure at the end, but without really giving us any idea of what could happen next. And for the first time I think since I've started reading Star Wars books, I'm finishing one without any idea of when the next one might come out, because as far as I know, nothing has been announced. I don't know, guys, it might be time for them to pass the torch from the "big three" and continue the story mostly without them. Sad to say, but true.

Now you all know what a super-geek I am to read this whole book in one day. In spite of what you may now think of me, I'm sure you're glad that at least someone is willing to do that so you can know what's going on without actually having to read.

The biggest problem now is that after reading an actual good book containing some genuinely heart-pounding moments I now have to suffer through The Crystal Star. Crap.

"Canon" Things I Choose to Ignore

Han's hand is being very sneaky while Leia isn't looking...

We all have them. There are things that George has added to "enhance" the Star Wars universe to make it "better" except to most of us they do the exact opposite so we choose to completely ignore their existence. I find it funny how riled up we get when he changes things and makes them wrong, especially since as I've said before, this is a fantasy world and we can really all believe whatever we choose to believe. Most of these things are from the prequels and the books but some are definitely from changes he has made to the original trilogy. There is nothing in the original original trilogy that I do not see as absolute truth. But now a list of things I refuse to believe ever happened/existed:

1. Han not shooting first. We know he did. Obi Wan is allowed to chop a guy's arm off after a little shoving match but Han can't blast Greedo before he knows he's about to be blown away? It's been said before and I'll say it again: Han shot first.

2. Midichlorians. Even in my first, naively hopeful viewing of Episode I, I came awfully close to audibly groaning at the thought that you could measure Force sensitivity by some sort of micro-organisms floating around in your blood that some people have and some people don't. It should be mysterious and undetectable, just an innate ability. Not any additional crap in your blood stream. So to me, they do not exist.

3. Luke and Leia's mother died in childbirth because she "lost the will to live." Sure, Leia totally got her incredible strength from a woman who gives up and lets herself die for no reason just because a man left her, even though she now has two children. I'd be fine if she had died in childbirth of actual medical complications, but this is ridiculous. Although to be honest I still can't decide if I like the childbirth thing better or the idea that Leia actually does remember her a little, and her dying.

4. Bria. Nope. She never existed. Han had some women, you know he did. But in my own head he was never even close to being in love before he met Leia.

5. Anakin and Jacen's deaths. Han and Leia's children live long, long lives and they don't have to witness anything but their weddings, children, triumphs, etc.

6. To go along with the above, Jacen turning to the dark side. He instead grows up to be a pretty decent guy.

7. Almost anything that has to do with COPL. Han and Leia do not wait four years to get married. No prince shows up, Leia doesn't almost fall in love with someone else or treat Han like crap. Just... no.

8. Han and Leia not raising their own kids. I'm not going to get into a debate here about how many kids they have, whether it's twins, whether Leia would name one Anakin because for whatever reason those particular facts don't bother me like they bother a lot of other people. But, whatever children they have, they make every effort to be parents to without having someone else raise them.

9. Similar to #8, sending their children off to some remote planet for the first two years of their lives. That's just insanity.

10. Ewoks blinking.

11. Darth Vader screaming, "Nooooooo!!!!!" He does not do that ever, in any of the movies, for any reason.

12. Leia totally immersing herself in work and ignoring her family. She works, sure, but she has plenty of time to be a wife and mother.

13. Han and Leia spending most of their time apart. In my eyes, they actually spend the majority of their time together after marriage. And before, really.

14. Luke falling in love with a woman inside a computer.

15. Mara getting killed. I know, why should I care? But come on, as much as Han and Leia didn't deserve for their children to get killed, Luke didn't deserve to lose his wife, either.

16. Luke and Leia's parents having a ridiculously cheesy "romance" and spouting off nauseating lines to each other such as, "Your beauty is intoxicating." Yuck.

17. The existence of Jar Jar Binks.

18. Qui Gon Jinn teaching Obi Wan. Seriously, didn't Yoda say he taught Obi Wan? Why did all of these things get changed?

19. Chewie's death.

20. Anything else bad that happens to any of them.

Please add on if you see fit to do so. I'm sure there are more things that we all like to think never "actually" happened.

Planet of Twilight: The Review

Push asked me before we started reading this book if I remembered if it was any good or not. I'm assuming that I, like most of you being Han and Leia fans, remember pretty much exactly one specific thing about it. We'll get to that, though.

The book was written by Barbara Hambly, who you all of course remember from our recent review of Children of the Jedi. So given the wonderful Han and Leia moments we got from that one, there was some hope we'd see more of the same here. Unfortunately, that's kind of difficult when they pretty much never see each other in the entire book.

We begin with Leia, who has gone to meet with Seti Ashgad, the leader of the Rationalist Party. I don't know, already that doesn't sound too good. This guy holds no official position with Nam Chorios, who he has his own strong opinions on, but that doesn't stop him from acting on their behalf. I'm sorry, mostly I just get distracted while reading this because all I can think about are Cheerios. Anyway, he wants technology and to trade with the New Republic even though the planet is quite devoid of technology and most of its inhabitants like it that way.

The talks are difficult and it shows Leia's growth as a politician as they are arguing for something that fundamentally seems right, but the people just don't want it. It causes Leia to remember an incident from when she had been much younger:

Leia straightened her shoulders under the velvet weight of her robe, seeing, in the flare of Ashgad's anger, the reflection of what her own reactions would have been at eighteen. But it shouldn't be that way-She remembered crying to her father, when after a complicated and emotional court case concerning vampiric Garhoons and their prey, the prey had elected to return to their vampires. It had taken her a long time to understand and respect her father's decision to pursue the matter no further.

I can see Leia having gone through something like that and having a hard time understanding that there were some things you just couldn't fix, because no matter how wrong you thought they were, sometimes people just didn't want them fixed. Poor Leia, always looking out for others and sometimes they don't even want her help!

Luke gets a message from Callista, who he is still pining for on a nauseating level, that is a warning about not going to the Meridian Sector, which just happens to be where Leia is. He hurt with wanting her. Missing her. Needing her. Gag. Was Callista ever given an actual personality or was it just that she had the Force and was female that attracted him to her? I'm so glad that Han and Leia were never that mushy. In spite of the warning not to go near there, Luke decides to go to Nam Chorios to find Callista.

He says his goodbyes to Leia, and says something about how he needs Callista, I don't know, I almost puked again, and they briefly discuss that there is some leak getting information out from the New Republic and the Moffs, which obviously has to stop. Then he gets annoying and tells Leia how she has to keep up with her lightsaber practice. Seriously, if my brother ever tried to boss me around like that I would not be happy! She just kind of brushes it off by saying mockingly, "To hear is to obey, Master." It's a good thing she was joking. In spite of her joking, she does feel guilty that she hasn't been training.

For some reason Leia gets called Her Excellency all the time in this book, including by Threepio, who encounters her when she finally settles into her office and suddenly doesn't feel very well. She basically passes out and Ashgad kidnaps her. Well, things aren't looking good for Leia to start this one off. Even worse, the entire crew of her ship is killed by the Death Seed plague, and poor Artoo and Threepio are left on board with a bunch of corpses.

Leia realizes she is dreaming, and she is back on Alderaan, showing her children to her father, Bail. They're teenagers in the dream in spite of the fact that they are still quite young in reality. Bail tells her that she has done well and she tells him how she has taught them justice, but Anakin says, "But we know better." They talk of how being Jedi gives them power, and he slices Bail in half.

"We're Jedi, Mother," Jaina said. "There's no Law for us. We can do whatever we want."

Anakin said, "That's your gift to us. We're Jedi because you're Jedi, too. We are what you are." He turned to look back at the pieces of Bail Organa's body, the eyes open and staring in shock, the outstretched hand with its golden ring. "And anyway he wasn't really your father."

Well, that was a pretty rough nightmare, wasn't it? She then hears a voice telling her that she has to learn to use the Force. Basically she fears that if she doesn't learn to use the Force, then she can't be an adequate role model for her children and they could wind up misguided or, in this case, murderous Sith. She awakens feeling as though she was drugged and then as she is lying on a divan she is approached by Dzym, who was with Ashgad, and he steps forward and drugs her with something else. She feels as though she's dying, and thinks of Han and then... she's out again.

Later, after Luke feels the deaths of so many from the Death Seed but feels Leia is still alive, Leia awakens again, still on the divan, but this time it has been moved out to a terrace. Now, I think I've mentioned this before but I find it kind of humorous the differences between what tends to happen to Han when he is captured and what happens to Leia. Han is usually thrown in a cold, dank, empty cell usually after being beaten or tortured or some combination. Leia, as evidenced in this case, is held captive in what seems like a quaint inn or something, given a comfortable place to sleep and even a terrace. Plus, she practically has servants.

She is given some water by Ashgad's pilot, Liegeus Vorn, who actually treats her pretty nicely and also refers to her as Her Excellency. That title just makes me shiver because it's like making Leia the new Emperor and I don't like it.

Han, she thought. Han will be worried sick. The children... Yep, that is definitely true. Or I think it is, because it takes a really long time for Han to make an appearance in this book.

Finally, like eighty pages in, we see Han. He has a bunch of messages from Leia marked urgent and he thinks to himself he hopes they might read: DON'T WORRY ABOUT A THING, WE'RE 50 HOURS LATE BECAUSE THE ENTIRE DIPLOMATIC MISSION JUST STOPPED OFF ON CYBLOC XI1 SO I COULD BUY MYSELF A PAIR OF SHOES. HOME SOON. LOVE, L. I thought that was very cute and I could see them sometimes sort of poking fun at their importance and how they could make ridiculous requests if they wanted to, but of course they probably don't.

Han knows that Leia is incredibly late. Of course this worries him tremendously, much different from when she experienced the same thing and just assumed he was being irresponsible. In a way this sets a nice little scene because Han is outside his house and the kids are swimming with Winter and even Chewie. Apparently Jaina has taken a liking to braiding random sections of Chewie's fur. The only downside to this is that they're swimming with Winter. The whole description of their house is quite nice, like some rustic design and the pool but at the same time it feels like where they live is described very differently throughout these books. Whatever it really is, I do like this particular version of their home.

This little family scene is interrupted when Mon Mothma comes to visit and tell Han that everyone on Leia's mission has disappeared. This whole thing is kind of weird because it describes in great length how Han has always been in awe of her and how beautiful she is. I just don't recall any other instance in which Han held that high regard for her. Not that I don't think he at least respects her on some level, but given what she put him through in the past I just don't think he would think of her like that.

But you forget about that quick because in this passage, Han is thinking about how Winter had taken the children up to the nursery and it makes him think this: Han remembered with a sudden pang making love to Leia on the rug of milk-white stohl fur, the night before her departure. I'm pretty sure I read that at least five times when I came across it the first time I read this book as a teenager. So they do have sex sometimes! It's a miracle! Also, for those of you who are reading and don't seem to be paying attention to these challenges anymore, that is definitely a great opportunity for a missing moment!

Anyway, Han finds out about the plague and of course is deathly afraid that Leia also contracted it. He obviously decides that he is going right out to try and find her. So we get this:

Thinking about Leia.

Five years since they'd married. Thirteen since they'd met, in the Death Star's corridors with blaster fire zapping around them. If he couldn't find her...

There was no conclusion to that sentence. No conclusion to the thought. Only a darkness as deep as the nightmare of disorientation in realtime space, with no starcharts, no navicomputer, no spectroscope, no clue as to which of those tiny, infinitely distant lights to aim for.

This is definitely a man who loves his wife. Don't worry, Han, she'll be okay. Speaking of Leia, she is of course still being held prisoner. But she gets her terrace and a bed with a nice quilt and plenty of sunlight. The downside is that they are trying to drug her with sweetblossom, but she figures out that they are putting it in her water so whenever they bring it to her she winds up secretly dumping it all out so they think she's still drugged. This leaves her pretty dehydrated but at least her head is somewhat clear. Also, she discovers she has her lightsaber. It all just seems to be another way to make her think about how she needs to prioritize her Jedi training, not only for herself, but for her children.

Han, Lando and Chewie are on their way to try and find her. Han whispers to himself, "Hang on, Leia. Don't check out on me now." Then: She couldn't die, he thought. He had literally no idea-none-of what he would do, what would become of him, if she should die.

He couldn't imagine life without her.

You think maybe he misses her and desperately wants to save her? I think so, too.

Liegeus is taking a liking to Leia and often is talking with her. He tells her he has the ability to manipulate holo images from others on record to make them say whatever he wants, basically. He asks Leia if she wants him to show her something of her husband or children, but Leia decides it would hurt too much. Aw.

Han, Lando and Chewie had encountered a whole bunch of people with severe radiation sickness who they had to hurry to get to some medical attention. Han spent some frantic time looking at everyone to make sure that no one among the dead was Leia. There's a bunch of craziness and a lot of the time we're stuck with Threepio and Artoo who are desperately trying to get to anyone to tell them who Leia was kidnapped by so they can save her, and they actually get close to Han in the midst of battle but he takes off before they can get to him, never having seen them.

Leia is working on an escape with the help of Liegeus, who doesn't exactly lead her out, but he changes door security and tells her what's going on so she can do what she needs to do. And Leia is still thinking a lot about her possible path as a Jedi:

The shadows of the future she feared, when Anakin, Jacen, Jaina-those three incalculable fragments of her body and her life came to the age when they would choose either the light or the dark.

Scary things to consider, for sure, and certainly something she'd have to give a lot of consideration to. It kind of sucks to be her, so much responsibility! The only thing that kind of annoys me is that she never really seems to think about the fact that she misses her kids, but maybe we are just supposed to assume that's obvious. While she is attempting to escape she winds up getting attacked by parasites or something and she feels like she is dying, to the point she'd almost rather die.

She basically winds up an exhausted, bleeding mess. She's dehydrated from dumping all that drugged water, although Liegeus had at least brought her a couple that were clean so she's not on the edge of death, and she has to find her way through the planet and scale walls and is just in pretty rough shape. At one of her weakest moments she suddenly realizes she's approaching someone and worries she'll have to fight but it turns out to be Callista, which is a great relief.

Callista is a lot like Luke in that she seems to patronize Leia with her all-knowing Jedi knowledge. I'm not saying she doesn't have a point sometimes, but it would get tiresome to have people talk to you like this all the time:

"I've seen how hard you try to teach Jacen and Jaina to listen to their own hearts, to have a sense of fairness, of justice. So they won't be pawns. So they won't be twisted.

"But for a long time they'll be weak, because they're children, and it's easy to influence children by love and hate and lies."...

...""I want them to be happy," she said, and leaned her cheek on the wind-scoured metal of the beam. "I want them to be children, to have the birthright of their innocence. But at the same time, I know they can't just follow any path they want. With their powers in the Force, i have to teach them to distinguish lies from truth, to seek justice the way my father... the way Bail Organa sought justice. I have to... to protect the next generation from them. The way I have to protect the present generation from myself."

To go along with all of this Jedi contemplation, Leia has a vision where she encounters two images of herself: one, herself as the slave girl from Jabba's palace in that infamous bikini, and the other herself basically as an evil Empress, her own children behind her almost Sith-like, though much older. She is told she must draw her lightsaber and give it to one of them, the Empress being quite authoritative and the slave acting completely hopeless, basically just curled up on the ground and weeping. Basically this is her own version of the cave Luke went into on Dagobah. And she realizes that she doesn't have to give it to anyone, rather she can do with it what she chooses.

I don't really understand why Callista is suddenly as masterful as Yoda in teaching the Force, but whatever. They spend some time sparring and Callista shares more of her infinite wisdom when Leia expresses her fears of hurting someone she shouldn't hurt.

"I don't want to be another..." The words froze in her throat.

"Another Palpatine?" asked Callista. "Another Vader? You aren't. You're not even another Bail Organa. You're Leia."

These are definitely profound statements but for some reason it bothers me that it is Callista who is saying all of these things. Why is Luke's girlfriend smarter than everyone? Anyway, Han and Lando are still in the midst of some crazy battle and Luke had actually come across Liegeus who tells him of Leia and who apparently even knew Callista. Luke and Leia eventually find each other, Leia being a complete mess still.

They encounter Beldorian, who I should've mentioned earlier as one of Leia's captors, a Hutt with Force sensitivity and a lightsaber, and they wind up in a duel. Leia vs. Hutt in a lightsaber duel? It is mentioned that the guy is much trimmer than Jabba, but still. Leia being the bad-ass that she is, slices him in half, bringing her track record with the Hutts to Leia: 2, Hutts: 0. She sure does know how to kill those guys. It is her first lightsaber victory and she considers it a huge one.

Somewhere else in the midst of all of this craziness, Threepio and Artoo - and eventually Han - find Admiral Daala. I believe she was previously presumed dead, having thought to be sucked into the Maw, but she escaped. She actually stepped in to help Han and instigates some negotiations between her people and the New Republic. But, good news: Han and Leia are finally reunited! Just in time for the end of the book!

Battered, dusty, blotched with grime and smoke and blood, Han realized it was Luke and Leia. Leia cried, "Han!" and threw herself into his arms, crushed against him, face pressed to his shirt and leaving an enormous smutch of slime-dried dust there. Looking down into her face, he realized that he himself was unshaven and smutted with soot from that last burn-through of the defensive shielding that had almost accounted for the Falcon in the last moments before Daala and her fleet had made their appearance.

"Leia!" They were hugging like schoolkids, rocking in each other's arms-Han felt an idiotic urge to whirl her in his arms and dance.

Well, at least it was a nice little reunion. I can definitely see Leia "flinging" herself into his arms under these circumstances. Also weird in this situation is that Daala and Liegeus meet and apparently they had a little somethin' goin' on way back when and are quite happy to see each other. Luke once again has to come to terms with not being with Callista - hopefully for the last time, and we are left with one final little notable Han and Leia moment:

Leia sighed and laid her head against his shoulder, weary beyond words. "I guess we will." His arms were around her, strong and rock hard under the rough linen of his shirt. He smelled of salt sweat and burned insulation; his chin was sandpaper against her temple and his breath living warmth on her skin. She wanted more than anything simply to remain there, and drift into sleep.

I definitely enjoy little moments like that, implying that basically she is completely comfortable and safe just being there with him, which is nice.

And basically, that's it. All right, a lot of other random stuff happened with Luke and his looking for Callista and stuff, and Han and Lando and Chewie and their battles and whatever, but I just don't have the attention span to get into it or summarize because frankly, I didn't care as I was reading it so I doubt you all care for me to write it up here, even shortened up.

This book just doesn't have the "fun" that it seems like a Star Wars book should have. there is very little humor, and a lot of non-action and long stretches where I was just bored. Do we really need entire chapters of just Artoo and Threepio? Maybe some people enjoy that, and I suppose there was a touch of humor there, but really, that just doesn't do it for me.

As for good things, again the decisions Leia faces as far as her Jedi path and training partly for the sake of her children are certainly apt and I think that at least makes things a bit more interesting from a character growth perspective. The poor woman just has so much to deal with! Also, as mentioned above, I did like the little family scene of them all at their house by the pool... except of course that it was Winter there instead of Leia. I'd also like to mention I'm thankful we've done away with Callista.

As for just Han and Leia in general, it's obviously nice to see that Han will stop at nothing to save her, and she thinks of him fairly often, knowing he'll be looking for her and even at times worries he also may have been a victim of the plague. Poor Han having to wonder what he'd do without her. And once again, you really can't top a memory of him making love to Leia on a white fur rug. You all get to work on how that one happened, won't you? I do know of one story that fills in this blank and also includes the pool...

So, what the heck do I give it for a Han and Leia factor? I guess a 3, only because of some very specific references and the fact that they definitely worry about one another and we are given some hard evidence that they care for each other deeply. But, well, once again they're only together for a couple of pages, which is incredibly annoying. I will also say though that it would've been nice to hear them talk about their kids. It's like in a sitcom when a new baby comes along and yet conveniently the kid just hardly ever makes an appearance. It's really almost like they don't even have them. I guess aside from the fact that Leia is stuck having horrible visions of her children becoming Sith.

I definitely wouldn't run out and buy this one. Just re-read the good parts I pointed out and you're not missing much.

Also, as a reminder, there will be no EU book club review next Sunday as your blog hosts will be consumed with reading Apocalypse. This little EU book club break may extend another week, depending on how long we take to get through it. We must give ourselves adequate time to get through it without feeling like we are under a dealine and apparently this bad boy is 500 pages. Don't worry, The Crystal Star is next anyway and any of you who have read that one know that there is no rush to get to that weirdness.

Happy First Birthday, Blog!

A little over a year ago, Push asked me if maybe we should start a blog. What was it going to be about? Well, Han and Leia, but other than that, we didn't really know. She had never done a blog so I helped set it all up and we were both made administrators and then it was time to do some posting. It's amazing to think that our first post was a year ago.

A lot has happened since then. It's fun to look at those first posts and see almost no comments. Actually, literally zero comments on the first post. Not that it said much. Also, in our first month we had less than a thousand total hits for the page. Not bad, we thought. Well, we hit a new high in January with over 11,000, so it's safe to say that things have certainly improved!

I have to say that I didn't really expect us to be posting so much and I'm not sure I expected that we'd get so many followers, either. The main motivation behind the blog was to bring together the world's Han and Leia fans once again so that we all know we're not alone and start contributing more thanks to the knowledge that yes, there are others like us. And, thankfully, I feel like we've done that. A couple of years ago when I started publishing my stories after years of simply reading, it usually took a few days to even a week to see some new stories up on ff.net. Now you're almost guaranteed to see something new on a daily basis. Although I'll admit it has made it tough to keep up, and I apologize for not being able to read everything. Maybe when the EU book club is over I'll have time, but for now, my reading time is pretty well sucked up by Star Wars books!

It's been a lot of fun so far and I hope that we have even more fun in our second year. The joint stories and book reviews and other random posts, not to mention the conversations that spring up among the comments, have all been great. We really appreciate seeing a lot of participation and it certainly makes things more fun. Those of you who don't participate often or at all, don't be afraid to jump in! There's always room for more. Also, if there is anything more you want to see here, speak up and let us know. We are open to suggestions.

So, once again, thanks for a great first year and here's to an even better second!

"Everything's Fine..."

CHAPTER 3

“Leia?”

She jumped in her seat as she heard the concerned voice of the young, blue-eyed man sitting across from her.

Bringing herself back into the moment, she found her voice again so she could answer. “Sorry, Luke, I guess I just zoned out a little, there.”

“Zoned out is right,” he said as he smiled amusedly at her. “You sure you’re all right?”

She could tell that Luke was starting to suspect that something might be going on between her and Han. If the three of them were alone together in silence she could see him looking back and forth between the pair, almost as though waiting for some sort of proof that might validate his theory. They never spoke of it, and she always preferred to think of Luke as naively oblivious to such things, but even though he tended to exude a sort of innocence due to his boyish features, he wasn’t blind and he certainly had proven to be perceptive.

She put on her best fake smile, earned through years of practice in diplomacy. “Everything’s fine, Luke. I just… I didn’t sleep very well last night.” That actually wasn’t a lie. As was the case fairly often, Leia had spent a considerable amount of time lying awake in bed, her mind racing with a thousand thoughts while she tried in vain to get warm enough under the mountain of blankets that covered her. Hoth was far too cold of a place for someone to get a good night’s sleep. Although Leia wondered if she would be sleeping any better no matter how warm and comfortable she was.

A few times Han had offered to let her stay on the Falcon while it rested idly in the hangar. He’d even been nauseatingly nice about it, telling her it was warmer in there and he knew things got cold on the base’s designated quarters. She was astonished, and maybe even slightly disappointed, when he hadn’t even suggested that they share. It would’ve been a lot easier to rebuff him if he had made some snide comment, as he often tended to do. She could’ve stormed off in frustration and anger, given another reason to keep her distance from the exacerbating smuggler.

Instead, she was forced to stop whatever nice little moment may have been happening between them, telling him that she had an early meeting and she didn’t want to risk any chance of being late and before he could even finish telling her he’d make sure that he and even Chewie would help make sure she was awake in plenty of time, she had fled from the cockpit, minutes later finding herself once again shivering in her bed.

She never knew what to do when he was nice to her. Or when he had any moments of actually seeming sincere. It made him so much more difficult to hate. And, gods, how she wanted to hate him! Hating him allowed her to keep her distance. She had felt things for him that more than scared her. He was just an act, she kept telling herself. He’s not the kind of man who wants anything more than to get you into bed once and move on. And if he kept opening his mouth, it always helped to remind her why she was trying so hard not to give him a second thought.

At least given his apparent desire at remaining unattached to anyone or anything, he would be just as appalled as she was to find out that somehow the two had become legally married. What in the universe was in those drugs they were given? How could they have done something like that and how could she not have any memory of it?

Even though it was all a terrible mistake she had this unwanted twinge of disappointment. Getting married was supposed to be one of the greatest moments of one’s life. It was supposed to be a happy and joyous occasion between two people who loved each other deeply and wanted to spend the rest of their lives together. It certainly wasn’t supposed to be a huge mistake instigated by being drugged and involving two people who spent most of their time at each other’s throats.

It felt once again like some cruel, bitter taste of something else in life she would never get to truly experience. Falling in love and living happily ever after weren’t for people like her. Leading the Rebellion left little to no time for selfish pursuits and had no sign of ending anytime soon. Her work was never done. Besides, loving anyone or anything just meant that eventually you would wind up hurt. Her heart had been far too broken to ever go through that again.

Looking down at her plate, she realized that she had spent most of the time simply moving the food around rather than actually eating. She finally nibbled on two tasteless bites, at least letting Luke see that she had eaten something. Her stomach had remained unbearably queasy not only since realizing that she and Han were married, but especially when she remembered waking up in bed next to him with almost nothing on. She wondered what it might've felt like if he'd toucher her...

The one time something like that happens, and I can’t even remember it. She shook her head. There was nothing to remember. It was never something she wanted, so what difference did it make? She wondered if there would come a time when they could look back on this and laugh. “Remember that time you and… what’s his name got married while you were drugged? That was crazy. Whatever happened to him?”

That’s what would happen, right? Sooner or later he’d be gone, never to be heard from again. Just another one of those people who comes into your life out of nowhere, drives you insane for a while, and then disappears forever. She wondered if in twenty years she’d even remember him.

“You ready to go, Leia?”

She looked up, seeing that Luke’s plate was empty and they’d been sitting quietly for a while. That was one of the things she liked about Luke, they could be in each other’s company in comfortable silence. She felt safe with him. At ease in such a way that she never felt around Han.

Han… she really needed to find out when he was coming back and get this taken care of as soon as humanly possible.

“Sure. Let’s go.”

Han and Leia Discover COPL: Part One

“Han, get in here!” Leia yelled alarmingly from the bedroom she shared with her husband.

He had been lounging on the couch, watching a smashball game, but he was on his feet and in the bedroom almost before Leia finished her sentence. “What is it? Are you all right?” he asked from the doorway.

Her eyes that had been on the datapad in her lap turned to focus on him and he felt the air leave his lungs in relief when he realized she wasn’t in danger. “I need you to come look at something,” she said as she gestured for him to come sit next to her.

“Sweetheart, don’t scare me like that. I thought something awful had happened to you,” he said as he walked to the side of the bed and plopped down next to her, leaning up against the pillows behind his back.

“I’m sorry,” she replied, placing a gentle, reassuring hand on his knee. “It’s just that I read something that I found quite upsetting.”

“What is it?”

She handed him the datapad. “Just read this. You know how sometimes people have taken it upon themselves to write stories about our lives?”

Han rolled his eyes. “Not another one. I told you to stop reading those things!”

“I know, I know, but it’s too late now, the damage is done.”

“So what is it this time? I hope it’s another one where we spend the whole trip to Bespin just gettin’ it on for weeks on end.”

She gave a quick backhand against his chest. “No, nerf herder, it is not one of those. This one is about how we got married.”

“That doesn’t sound so bad. Wait, in this one are we forced to consummate the marriage right there at the altar?”

“No! It’s just… well, the whole thing is absurd. You have to just read it and see. Gods, I hope nobody thinks I would actually act that way.”

“What way?”

“Just read it.”

Han sighed and began reading while Leia rested her head on his shoulder. She had no idea how much time had passed when she felt Han stir and heard him grumbling something that ended in, “…load of garbage!”

Lifting her head to look at him, she said, “Did you finish it?”

“Yeah, I finished it,” Han said angrily.

“And?”

He looked down at her with his brow furrowed. “And? And I can’t believe anyone could ever think that we would act like this!”

“I know, right?” Leia replied, relieved to find that Han was equally appalled.

“Leia, please tell me that if for some reason a prince had shown up to marry you before you married me, you wouldn’t have considered it.”

“Oh, gods, no!” she replied without hesitation. “I may have given up a lot for the Rebellion and the New Republic, but there is no way I would ever give up the love of my life,” she said before she wrapped her arms around him.

“Not even for some tall, buff prince with long, blond hair and piercing gray eyes?”

She sat up to look him in the eye, shaking her head. “Never.” She ran her fingers through his slightly messy hair. “I like dark hair, hazel eyes, this nose…” she said before she kissed the tip.

“All right, all right. You made your point. I don’t think I would’ve been able to marry you if you had treated me like this, even if you did pick me in the end.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean it’s like you didn’t even care how I felt in this situation. Like I should just sit back and let you do whatever you had to do and it was almost as though you were yelling at me for loving you.”

“You know I would never do that to you. But what about you?”

“What about me?”

“Well, you weren’t exactly perfect in this crazy thing, either. I mean, would you ever really think you could entice me with a planet or money”

“I figured you knew from the beginning that you weren’t going to be marrying me for my vast wealth.”

“Well, this thing makes it seem like you think I’m incredibly shallow.”

“Yeah? Well, in this thing you are incredibly shallow! You go off and kiss the guy once and suddenly it’s like you forget I even exist and want to tell him you love him?”

“Don’t get mad at me like this is something I actually did to you!”

“Sorry, sorry,” Han said, his voice calming. “It gets me all worked up even just to read about you with some other guy.”

“Well, I wasn’t so thrilled about the idea of you locking me in a storage compartment on the Falcon. Kidnapping?”

“Yeah, who’d think I’d be crazy enough to kidnap you like that? I do want to try and get my hands on that gun of command, though, that sounds fun. I’m surprised that this version of you didn’t let Chewie beat the hell out of me. Seemed like you didn’t care too much about me.”