Saturday, September 10, 2011

Stuff that Bugs Me About the Original Trilogy

I think it's about time we posted something that was neither answers to your questions nor another chapter of our little story, don't you? So last weekend, like most other holiday weekends in the United States, there was a Star Wars marathon on Spike TV. And I'm sure like many of you, in spite of owning the DVD's and being able to watch them whenever I want, it is somehow more exciting when they are on TV, even if it does involve excessive commercial interruption. But there are a lot of little things that happen throughout the trilogy that I sit and think to myself, wait, what? So here are some ponderances, and feel free to contribute.

-Does it seem a bit unfair to anyone else that Luke got sent off to live as a poor farmboy while Leia went off to be a princess?

-While we're on that subject, don't even get me started about the fact that Luke kept his original last name. I'd think they'd have the equivalent of Google people searching in Star Wars.

-I cannot watch the scene where Alderaan blows up without first laughing at Leia's out-of-nowhere British accent.

-Do you think maybe it was a bit excessive that Obi Wan chopped that guy's arm off when he was starting a fight with Luke in the cantina? Did he really have to sever a limb? Couldn't he have just Force-shoved him or something?

-On the same subject, are Jedi trained exclusively to disarm their opponents by literally DIS-ARMING them? Seriously, how many people get limbs chopped off by lightsabers?

-Was Han's reward really in all of those cases at the end? You'd think with all of those space ships that can travel the speed of light and the fact that they can shoot lasers that maybe they'd have already come up with e-transfers.

-Speaking of e-transfers, did Han honestly really have to give Jabba his money back in person? You'd think the Alliance could've fronted him the money and he'd just transfer it to his account or something.

-Is it weird to anyone else that even Chewie actually changes is "hair style" in each of the movies? Seriously, go back and look, the hair on his head looks different in each one.

-So Luke is all broken up about Obi Wan dying - you know, the guy who he had just spent a couple of hours with over the last day or two - and Leia just lost her entire planet including her whole family and she's comforting him as they fly away from the Death Star? Really?!?!?

-If Artoo and Threepio weren't on that ship with Leia, all three movies never would've happened.

-Was it honestly necessary to show the tauntaun guts spilling out after Han sliced him open with the lightsaber? We get it, he cut it open, we don't need to know what its insides look like.

-What is up with how poofy Han's hair is when the door opens to reveal they're having dinner with Vader? It is literally only the shot where the door opens, then his hair goes back to normal.

-How awkward must that dinner have been? Seriously.

-So... bows and arrows and rocks on strings and stuff are more powerful than armored stormtroopers with blasters?

-Was there any kind of screening process for stormtroopers? I mean, in spite of what Obi Wan says about their accuracy on the sandcrawler, it seems like their aim is so bad they couldn't hit sand if they were standing on Jabba's sail barge. Most useless employees ever.

-On that note, was that armor actually supposed to protect them from something? Because to me it looked like anytime someone hit them with a blaster, they went down.

-Why does Leia suddenly start mispronouncing Han's name when she's on Bespin? That whole time she says his name like it rhymes with pan. Maybe she picked it up from Lando? The way he introduces himself in the first place and the way she says it anywhere but there is like it rhymes with dawn. That's the way it should be.

-So... all of Jabba's evil friends just kind of fall asleep randomly throughout his throne room or whatever? Oooookaaaaay....

All right, I think that's enough for now, but I may think of more things when I pick up my blu rays in a few days. And no, I'm not even going to get into the changes that have been made. Again, let me know if there was anything else in there you had always wondered about the trilogy.


  1. Hi there! I normally don't comment on other people's blogs (I just silently read them...), but I decided that you have hit the nail completely on the head with this post. I normally follow you guys anyway, because I am secretly a bit obsessive about Star Wars, and I couldn't agree more with what you said. The British accent thing always got me...And what's with Leia not pronouncing Han's name right? I hate that. Glad we can all be semi-critical no matter how much we may love them!

  2. Why does Leia put a dress on with the Ewoks? I mean, let's not even try to figure out why or how the Ewoks even could've had a dress to fit her (and shoes - okay maybe they could've whipped them up on their Singers...). But, she's in the middle of a very important mission, separated from her group (including the man she supposedly loves) why would she just let them play dress up with her and unbraid her hair? I never understood that.

  3. Oh, yeah, good point. Man, in Jedi Leia is stuck letting almost anyone dress her. Definitely no reason they should've had that dress. Maybe there was a fancy stylist Ewok we never got to see on screen. Or maybe it's totally normal for them to occasionally run into a random woman in the woods and give her a dress?

  4. in her book Carrie jokes about her British accent that came and went at random.

    also it always bugs me that there are like a total of three cities on Tatooine and everyone knows everyone and in 18 years no one mentions anything to Luke about his father, and it never gets out that there's a skywalker kid floating around? are we supposed to beleive Vader didn't want anything to do with the place after he turned and never thought to check there?

    I also wonder who does Leia's hair in the woods. and where the Ewoks got a dress for her.

    and I do not even want to think about the stuff George is going to stuff on those blu rays and pretend it's been there all along.

  5. Yes, Carrie says that in her show, too. I love that she notices and makes fun of herself, too :)

    Oh, and as far as Tatooine and Skywalkers, I HATE that apparently Anakin was the result of immaculate conception? Really? He's Jesus? I can't even...

    Leia really had nothing better to do than fix her hair, I guess. She had to look pretty for when Han found her.

  6. Alderaan is completely blown out of existence and... that's it? No emotion? No sadness at all? Geezz, it was her home planet; I'd be bawling. But then again, it wouldn't make a great space movie if everyone was crying, but seriously, they don't even mention it after leaving the death star. And then Luke's boohoo-ing about Obi-Wan. Sometimes I just want to say, "Grow up Luke!" At least fans have taken it upon themselves to display Leia's utter heartbreak over that whole Alderaan thing, as it should be done! Ah FanFiction.


    It's funny that you brought the mispronunciation (did I spell that right?) of Han's name up. Literally every time Lando pronounces it like pan, I say, "it's Han!" even though he obviously can't hear me.

    And what is up with him wearing Han's vest in the last scene when they're leaving on the Falcon? Lando makes me so mad sometimes... >: (

    Wow, that was long. Sorry. : )

  7. It bugs me SO MUCH that Leia and Lando mispronounce Han's name on Bespin. Didn't Lucas or Kershner or Ford or ANYONE have the balls to correct them? General Dodonna mispronounces Leia at the end of ANH too!

    All of the literal disarming bothers me too...especially in the PT though. When Obi-Wan did it it wasn't a cliche yet, and we hadn't heard Yoda's teaching about Jedi loving peace and defense and all that. ESB seriously shocked me, and then in ROTJ it was symbolic...having something so EXTREME happen so many times kind of...undoes that, I guess, makes it silly when it shouldn't be?

    I like the tauntaun guts though. :P

    And I like fanfic about that dinner! I've only read a couple, unfortunately, but there should be more.

    I guess maybe e-transfers just didn't exist in '77 and, uh, that never occurred to anyone? They could have at least written him a check or something. ;)

  8. Mmmm tauntaun guts...

    I think the Alderaan thing probably bothers me the most, while Luke just sits there and whines about Obi-Wan.

    And personally, I'd like to know the logic behind Chewbacca's laser shooting cross bow.

    Also, I love Han's poofy hair in that one shot. Hehe.

  9. I never even noticed half of these! Aw man, I'm going to be rolling on the floor when I watch the films now. I'll be rewinding my way through ESB with a notepad and pen. Anyway, it makes a change from complaining about the prequels. Made me laugh majorly. Thank you! :D

  10. I've noticed some of these myself. I thought it was quite odd that Luke was all broken up about Ben, but Leia was all put together even though she was tortured and her home planet was destroyed. Makes me wonder how much they really tortured her.

    Maybe Leia had a heck of utility belt on Endor, complete with hidden dress and everything.

    How could Vader be in the presence of his own daughter and not know they were related? Shouldn't he be able to tell through the Force? Or at least something seemed familiar?

    My one burning question, though, is what happened between Han and Leia between ANH and ESB that he is now giving her the full court press? They did set it up in ANH, but by ESB, he's really starting to go after her. It is Han after all and I'm sure he's got the ladies swooning, but still what tipped him off that she was interested, that he had a chance?

    And would someone please translate what Chewie said in the med center after Leia kissed Luke. Han gave Chewie such a look that I'm dying to know. They translated what Greedo said, why not Chewie?

  11. About Leia not seeming as broken up over Alderaan as Luke was about Obi-Wan...much like the trip to Bespin, we don't know how long a hyperspace trip from Tatooine to Alderaan would take. Maybe they were enroute for a week or Luke more time to get attached to Obi-Wan, and Leia some time to deal with her grief in private? She's also had a lot of practice in concealing her emotions, I'm sure, as a princess and senator. Whereas Luke, especially in ANH, wears his heart on his sleeve.

  12. It always bugs me that Leia just lets Han fall from the carbonite. I know he's obviously bigger and heavier than her, but can't she help him onto the floor? THUD!

  13. Wow, you guys are really getting into this :) I can't believe I failed to mention Lando wearing Han's clothes. How rude is that?

    Oh, the crossbow, definitely. I mean, a regular crossbow is like that because it needs to propell an arrow. If all weapons fire blasters, what is the purpose of a crossbow. Maybe on Kashyyyk he used it as a regular crossbow and it's a family heirloom and they converted it to fire lasers?

    I did think of something else, though. So Luke is at that point all upset about Ben, but he's not still broken up about his aunt and uncle? The ones who RAISED him? We can maybe pretend that Leia just buried her feelings down incredibly well and maybe broke down later. She did at least later on say, "We have no time for our sorrows."

    And yes, poor Han just falling to the floor when Leia frees him. Maybe she just didn't think it all through that well and expected him to be awake right when it melted away, but I'm sure she felt bad about that :)

  14. In Sue Zahn's "Between the Lines" she has Chewie say: "Maybe I've still got a chance at that kiss after all. Chewbacca speculatively barked, breaking the stunned silence."

    This would indicate that Han had told his friend about Leia's "kiss a Wookiee" comment and I always thought that was a funny interpretation and would've explained Han's responding look pretty nicely.

  15. I'm skimming through old post topics (I should be writing--so naturally I'm procrastinating) and had to stop on this one. I know, it's almost 2 years old, but whatever....what actually always bothered me about Luke's mourning Obi Wan? Not so much that Leia had it so rough (and she did!), but he also lost his aunt and uncle on Tatooine (the people who *raised* him and were basically his parents!) and he kinda winces, does a moment of silence thing, and then skips off to Mos Eisley. But Obi Wan, this guy he's known for like a day, has left him devastated. Hmph.