Friday, May 3, 2013

Raspberry Beret Dialog
By: Lady Peter

(Not quite a raspberry beret, but the closest I could find.) 
I'm thinking a caption here of:  "C'mon, are you guys really going to make me do this?"

(Warning:  The following contains Adult Themes)

And finally, the following is submitted by Lady Peter, as a direct result from the previous blog post.


Raspberry Beret Dialog
By: Lady Peter

This is a dialog I came up with as I imagined just how our couple would find themselves contemplating, or consummating, “backdoor sex,” as we’ve sometimes referred to it in our epic comment thread. No actual acts are performed here: this just a warm-up.

That’s when I saw her,
Ooh, I saw her:
She walked in through the Out Door.
-Prince, “Raspberry Beret” 

[Time: About 4 ABY. Setting: A bed, in fact the first bed this pair has shared from the start as a couple. Our hero has just completed a rather heroic act of lovemaking]

L: Oh my-

H: That good, eh?

L: You know it was. That was just, amazing.

[whispering] What you did at the end, with your finger, I never thought I’d… but… wow.

H: Thought I’d take a chance there. I’m glad it didn’t backfire on me.

L: As it were.

H: Cute.

L: [After a pause] Is that something you think about? I mean, are you wanting to take that kind of thing farther?

H: Woah. Um, OK.

I guess I haven’t really thought about it. Not realistically. I can’t say I’ve never imagined, just… not in a long time, I guess.

L: But we haven’t even been together for that long. Wait, was this something you thought about before we were together?

H: Only once or twice.

L: Like on special occasions or something? Oh wait, did you fantasize about this while… oh my Gods, Han!

H: Hey, I thought this bed was a “shame-free zone” or something. It’s not like I was obsessed with it. Like I said, it was just once or twice. Probably around when we made the move to Hoth.

L: Oh my stars. No, no: no shame, although I must say I find it hard to imagine you feeling shame about anything.

H: Certainly not about anything we would do in the bedroom…

L: But way back then?? That’s just downright pervy! And what do you mean, “we would do?” I’d think this would be a matter of you doing and me trying to avoid bodily injury!

H: Not if we did it right, it wouldn’t. I never imagined it as a way of dominating you. We are having this incredibly painful conversation because of something you liked, remember?

L: OK, OK.

Well then, how did you imagine it? Wait, that’s not what I meant! More like, why did you? What was it that made it so erotic to you?

H: You really want to know?

L: Yes! It’s not something awful, is it? Just give it to me!

H: As it were.

L: Ha ha. Come on.

H: OK, I’m thinking. It’s not like I analyzed it at the time.

So… I guess you fascinated me back then. I just knew that there was all this fire and emotion under the surface, but you were shut up so tight you never let anyone see it, much less me. So it was kind of a game where I’d push your buttons and see if I could get you to crack.

L: Yes, I remember that. You never gave up!

H: And I wanted you, you know that. And you wanted me, too, even though you still try to deny it!

L: No, no more. I did want you. I wanted you so badly, and I’d just walk around all day feeling sick with it.

H: Now you’re teasing me.

L: No, I’m not.

[A long pause.]

H: Did you want to hear this story or, ah…

L: No, I’m sorry, I do. Keep going.

H: Cause I’m fine with just keeping on like this.

L: Don’t make me beg.

H: OK, OK. So I wanted you, and I wanted you to show yourself to me and no one else. I wanted to just crack that façade and get inside you.

L: Uh-huh.

H: And also, you know, get inside you.
L: Uh-huh.

H: And you shouldn’t be surprised to hear that sometimes I’d think about you and-

L: Oh my, you’re actually embarrassed! I love it!

H: Come on, Sweetheart.

L: OK, I’ll be nice.

H: So at the time, maybe I felt like having you like that was a way to go as deep as possible, to see you and feel you just totally raw and exposed. And when I imagined it, I wasn’t forcing you: you wanted it too.


H: Come on, don’t leave me hanging. What do you think?

L: I think I want it too.

H: Seriously? Honey-

L: Not right now, not tonight. But some time. Some night when I really need to be…

H: What?

L: Raw, I guess. Open, although I feel so silly saying it like that.

H: Don’t.

L: No?

H: Don’t, ‘cause do you know how turned on I am right now?

L: Really turned on? Really?

H: We don’t have to do that tonight, no worries, but if I can’t have you, somehow, right now, I’m going to go crazy.

L: I thought you were already crazy?

H: You have no idea.

L: Come here, Love


  1. Oh, LP! This is a beautiful handling of what could be an awkward subject! Instead of sounding pervish, it sounds romantic, and sweet, and gentle, and also very, very funny! It sets in motion the ability to be very open with each other. They respect each others' boundaries and at the same time can freely express their desire to take intimacy to another level. And, it made me chuckle :)

    Two thumbs up :)

    1. Thank you so much, Stats! That means a lot.

  2. I was more than a little skeptical about this. BUT, I think this is really a great example of taking a subject that I really thought there was no way of making anything but... I don't know, icky? And actually making it ok.

    I like that you had it just about them talking about it in a totally believable way. And I really liked how you wrote them here. It shows a lot about their relationship when they are comfortable enough to talk and explore things like this and they feel safe to express these things to one another.

    So, nice job and once again, you are a brave woman :)

  3. Still not a fan of all the backdoor business I'm afraid....but I would like to commend you on how you wrote them so at ease with eachother and talking in such an intimate way, I thought that was great. Well done. And thanks for being brave and sharing with us.

  4. Thanks for your kind words, guys! I guess this will never be a subject with a lot of popular appeal :).

    What got me interested in is that I'm fairly neutral on this particular subject, but I can see how it can be difficult for readers to be comfortable with it. So I started thinking of it as a challenge: was there a way that I could depict this in a way that was anywhere close to in character? What I came up with felt pretty much right to me, so I wanted to share it and see what you-all thought.

    Thanks for posting this, Zyra and Push! I think I have an underdeveloped sense for the controversial, so I appreciate you humoring me! Now you can go back to your regularly scheduled content.

    I think we all deserve a joint-story chaser! :)

  5. Wow, you did it! You were able to cover the backdoor topic well. It still felt intimate and sweet and a bit of a turn on, which I thought was not possible.
    Well done!

  6. That's about right. Nice job. What does Samantha on Sex & the City say? "A hole is a hole." No big deal. Enjoyed the discussion on the previous post and will jump in here. H/L sex tends to be pretty vanilla and formulaic. There are certain tropes that are overused. Changing it up a bit would not hurt. I am not into reading sexytime as much as reading about their evolving relationship and feelings, but is that because the sexytime out there is not that interesting to read? Possibly. Not sure what is the cause versus the effect.

    1. Confounding variables make life hell :)

    2. Loved it!! Brilliant handling of what would normally be an awkward and "yikes" kind of conversation. The way you had them talk about it came across as very natural and completely plausible (who would of thought??). It was strangely cute, sweet, and funny at the same time. :-)

      Impressive....most impressive......

  7. Awesome job on a difficult subject. My favorite lines were first Leia's cheeky: "As it were" and then Han's answering one. Love how you wrote them together, so comfortable and in love. :-)

  8. You did a great job with this. It felt very natural and intimate. And you really captured their voices well. And did Leia admit she wanted him before they were involved? Wow. :) I think you've shown that it's just as much about describing the emotions as the act itself. But I'll bad and admit I'm curious how Han will get her willing to be open and raw for him. I bet that could be pretty hot.

  9. Nicely handled, eeally enjoyed the easy feeling of it. I liked that Han was hesitant to voice his thoughts. ;)

  10. Nice handling of the topic. Intimate yet relatively obvious about the subject matter without being vulgar. I agree you handled the voice of both characters well and it is obvious this is later in their relationship.


  11. So when someone will write them do this? :D