Han Solo had had it. As he stared into the face of the young Princess of Alderaan, he had just had it.Even as the words still echoed through his head, he couldn’t believe she had said it. I don’t know what you’re talking about.
Was she kidding?
She stared back up at him with a look of confusion on her face, playing it so innocently bewildered and he still couldn’t believe it. She could try to fool the other members of the base and the High Council with that look. Hell, she could even try to fool herself. But there wasn’t a chance on this whole ice cube they called a planet that she was going to fool him. Not with that look. She could pretend all she wanted, but she understood damn well what he had meant. He knew it and couldn’t take it anymore.
Something in him snapped at that point and spurred him into action. Not one to put thoughts before actions, as he was prone to do, he easily clamped a hand around her wrist and started dragging her not so gently in the general direction of the dorms.
Leia’s protests came quickly. “What do you think you’re doing?” she exclaimed, but Han continued without answering her. She tried to dig her boots into the icy floor and pull free from his grasp, but couldn’t stop his forward progress no matter how hard she tried.
Han came to a stop suddenly for a couple of reasons, catching Leia by surprise. First, he had to get his bearings. In his anger he hadn’t paid close attention to where has was going and glancing around he realized they were close to Leia’s quarters. Second, Leia was yanking on his arm so hard and protesting even more he thought she might actually start yelling and draw attention to both of them.
Wheeling on her, his tight lipped scowl had her forgetting her desire to escape. Normally that much anger from him would have someone backing away from him.But not Leia. She held her ground.
“Look, Your Worship, we need to hash this out once and for all,” he replied. He held up a finger silencing her before she could say anything. “And you know it.”
“I am not about to go anywhere with you, Captain,” she replied and made another vain attempt to break free.
Han watched a young Rebel walk by and Leia’s gaze followed his. “Do you really want to continue this
conversation out here where everyone can hear?”
Leia’s eyes dropped to the floor for a moment. When they met his again she gave the briefest of nods indicating her acquiescence to his demands. And when he resumed walking, she followed without resistance. Han took her the rest of the way still hanging on to her wrist. It must have of seemed odd to others, but no one said anything.
Even though Leia followed him without a word, it didn’t mean she wasn’t livid beyond all words. By the time they neared her quarters, she had a good head of steam going. She glared at the back of Han’s head imagining all the horrible things she could do to him. The worst jobs in the Rebellion would be his by the time she was done. If he stayed that was.
They reached her door and he stopped, stepping aside so she could palm them in. Standing next to him, she gave him a baleful look as she opened the door and could tell from his expression he had plenty on his mind. That was fine if Han had some things to say. So did she and he was mistaken if he thought he wasn’t about to get a tongue lashing beyond his imagination.
The door slid open and Han entered first holding her by the elbow to draw her in after him. With a quick wave of her hand, she palmed the door shut and swung around towards Han, ready to tear into him over his behavior.
What happened next caught her completely by surprise.
Han pulled her roughly to him and into a deep, fiery kiss. She hadn’t experienced anything like this ever. Han held her tight to him kissing her so hard and deep it was as if he was trying to pour all of his passion into her and make it her own. For a time it took all of her ability to breathe and even reason away and was several moments before she could form a coherent thought.
As the kiss broke and she came up for air, all Leia could do was stare at Han and she struggled to find the right words to say. Her lips still tingled from the feel of his and she had to admit it wasn’t entirely unpleasant. How could she protest when part of her mind, her body wanted to ask for more?
“What did you do that for?” she whispered, her eyes meeting his.Han studied her face carefully, noting her wide eyed expression, her pupils dilated to the point the normal brown color was almost black. He leaned in closer. “Something to remember me by, Princess,” he whispered.
It wasn’t going to be enough. Not for either of them as they stared at each other. They both knew it wasn’t going to be enough. In an instant, Han grabbed Leia again. Pushing her against the door, he pinned her to it and continued what he had started, bending his head down to kiss her. His kisses were almost a passionate plea as his lips moved against hers; his tongue gently probed, testing the waters. And Leia couldn’t help but reply.
She shifted slightly, deepening the kiss, making it her own, spearing her tongue past his. She felt his leg press along the inside of hers, a taut, hard pressure, brushing up and down against it. She felt the strangest urge, an odd itch to run her hands under his shirt and find his skin. More than anything she wanted to feel all of him, the pressure of his whole body against hers. Her hands fisted into his hair, drawing him even closer. His hands found her waist and when he lifted her up, pulling her flush against him, she didn’t resist. Instead she looped her arms around his neck.
Han groaned at the feel of her body in his arms, the pressure of her tiny weight on him. It was a dream it had to be. Surely he would wake up any minute but when Leia pulled him even closer, he knew it wasn’t. Leia was really in his arms and wanting him as much as he wanted her.
He made his way to the bunk with her, nipping her mouth, neck, anywhere he could reach, fully expecting her to object at any second. But when the protests didn’t come, he took the last few steps.
They fell to the bunk together in a heap not really paying attention to how they landed. They were too wrapped up in kissing each other and trying to get at each other to be concerned with whom was on top or what position they needed to be in. For now it was enough to be close and get as close as possible. At some point his jacket slid down his shoulders and he rose above her, kneeling on the bed so that he could easily yank it off. As he loomed over her, looking down at her, Leia could feel that urge to touch him rise again, that itch she had to feel his skin under her hands and feel every bit of him and was confused by the sensation. His hands roamed over her and she could feel the heat from them, the desire radiating from them even through the quilted material of her suit. Overwhelmed by the urge and the sensations he was bringing up in her, she gave into it. She thought it odd her hands were shaking as she moved them to the fasteners of his shirt, but ignored the reaction and began to undo them, revealing the skin and body underneath. She heard him release a shaky breath and her eyes met his. They were clouded over with a haze of growing desire. And she continued on. Han decided to help and tugged his shirt tails free and they made quick work of the rest of the garment, tossing it aside.
They looked at each other then, their thoughts almost passing between them. Han continued to caress her, enjoying even that much contact. But he needed more. He reached for the zipper on her snowsuit. Her hands joined his, helping to unzip it. His blood rushed as he caught a glimpse of what was inside, a hint of her skin and lace of undergarments. He pushed the suit off her shoulders wanting to reveal of all of her and his gaze locked with hers as he did. She was beginning to shake and he could see the thoughts coming back into her eyes, filling them with doubt and uncertainty. She was beginning to think again and he couldn't have that.
Wanting to remove all of her concerns, he bent down over her, taking her face in his hands and stealing her breath away with a kiss. By the time he was done, he wanted no doubts, no regrets. He wanted them both to fully understand exactly what he had meant. He started a flurry of kisses and caresses, never letting her rest or stop for even a moment. The rest of their clothes peeled away methodically, ruthlessly, until there was truly nothing between them and they were completely skin to skin and open to each other. He normally would have hesitated when he moved to enter her. She was ready that much he could tell, but he might have asked if she was sure. But this was not a time for doubt or hesitation. He wanted to take her to a nameless place free of thought and meant to do exactly that. He only stopped as the first moment of connection sunk in. And as he took her, she pulled him close and held him tight, giving her implicit permission. He kissed her deeply and kept going, driving them both off the edge together and her hips arched into his as they fell into sheer, mindless pleasure.
With Leia's body still quaking, they collapsed to the bunk with a gasp, too stunned to move. After several long moments of recovering and contemplating what in the Sith had just happened, Han started to move first. He pushed to sitting and took a spot just down from her hips, to lean against the bulkhead. He angled himself so his feet dangled off the bunk. He sat there studying Leia, wondering what she was thinking. Did she get his point? Was she regretting any of it? She was sexy as hell laying there naked, tendrils of hair falling loose from her braid and the thought crossed his mind how much he'd love to stay in bed with her the rest of the day. It was hard to tell and even harder for him not to talk about what had happened. He had meant it when he said they need to hash this out. He let out a breath.
"Now you see what I mean?" he asked, his voice low and gruff.
"Yes," was her quiet reply, but she didn't look at him. She paused to daintily pull the sheet across her body, tucking it over her breasts. "And while I’d admit that there is attraction between us on some level, it doesn't change anything."
Han's mouth dropped open. After all of that, after what just happened between them, she was going to say that? He was certain it had been quite an experience for him and was pretty sure it had been for her too. And this was how she was going to react?
"How can you say that?" he said and shook his head, it dawning on him what she might be thinking. "If you think this is just a one night stand, Leia, you're wrong."
"It's the middle of the day, Han."
"You know what I meant.” He could see it instantly in her eyes, the walls she kept so tightly around her already going up again. The progress he had just made with her, he had made in opening her up to him was slipping away before his eyes and moved towards her quickly, scrambling to keep to it from totally disappearing. He reached out for her, wanting to reassure her, but she was pivoting off the bed before he could get a good hold on her and leaving him a second too late.
Leia had to move. She couldn't stay with what he was about to say. She stepped towards the bulkhead of the bunk not looking at him. She couldn't. She knew he might say that type of thing. Had known it somehow and what she had been afraid of all along. There was no way she could let him see the regret she was certain would be in her eyes. Let him see how easily she could give into him again. It would be far too easy to return to him, to let him convince her. She took her time tucking the sheet around the rest of her body, making a show of it, giving her the time she needed to collect herself.
“This isn't just a fling for me. It doesn’t have to be if you don’t want it to,” he told her.
"You're still leaving, aren't you?" she asked as she finished covering herself. She finally turned to face him and his eyes darted away from her. There was too much resignation and guilt flooding through him to look at her.
Leia nodded and waited for him to look at her. She gathered herself up into a more regal stance. "And I have my duties. Responsibilities to myself, to my people, to the Alliance. I have a war to help win." Her shoulders rose with the deep breath she let out. "So from where I stand, nothing has changed."
He knew with those words things were a done deal. There was no more convincing her today that things could be different, that they could be more. Not at this point. There was a softness, almost sadness in his eyes as he stared at her. "I think we may be missing a good opportunity here, Leia."
She considered his words for a moment, but didn't say anything before moving towards the refresher. She needed to get back to work and that was her main goal and purpose as always. She paused at the edge of the refresher and held there, glancing back over her shoulder at him. "Maybe. But facts are facts, Han. And no amount of wanting in the galaxy is going to change that." She disappeared into the refresher without another word leaving Han alone and shaking his head. As he collected his clothes he wondered if she had gotten his point at all. And wondered exactly what would it take to make a crack in her armor once and for all.