Thursday, January 26, 2012

Universal Han and Leia FanFic Writer Truths

So, we've done a couple of these 'universal truths' posts and we decided doing one on ourselves might be kinda fun. You know, those things that all of us do as Han and Leia writers, lovers and fanatics. Those things that we are so sure we are the only people in the universe who think, feel or act this way (until we found this blog).

#17 - Dreaming of Star Wars, either pleasant experiences or nightmares involving loved ones discovering their secret.

#16 - Comparing other romantic relationships in regular movies to Han and Leia and listing in one's head the ways in which others are inferior or getting ideas from movies and TV shows and thinking, "This could make a good fanfic."

#15 - Comparing potential suitors to Han Solo. *Dangerous practice as it can lead to excessive singleness, to which Zyra is a tragic example.

#14 - Tendency to reply "I know" when someone says, "I love you" rather than the traditional, "I love you, too."

#13 - Heart palpitations if someone asks to check their e-mail or something on your lap top for intense fear that they will snoop in your files and find your fanfic.

#12 - Excessive Star Wars related bookmarks amongst internet favorites.

#11 - Hard drive is overloaded with saved, adorable pictures of Han and Leia, often outnumbering photos of one's own family.

#10 - The time between when a writer hits the publish button and when (or if) they receive their first review drags on at a rate of 10,000 times slower than normal speed.

#9 - The number of reviews seems to be conversely proportionate to the excitement the writer has for that chapter. Writer is super excited by a certain chapter = less reviews than other chapters.

#8 - Over-contemplating of things in the movies like the trip to Bespin or may display strange behavior such as rewinding to watch the movie kisses 10-11 times before moving on to the next scene.

#7 - Often times you can find specific wear patterns in the pages of our EU novels, most notably any time Han and Leia kiss or share some nice moment and it may or may not be completely falling apart if it ever comes close to alluding to sex.

#6 - Ability to recite exact page numbers of any Han/Leia noteworthy moments without even being anywhere near the book.

#5 - One critical or bad review will cancel out at least 30 good reviews in its wake.

#4 - Writers often tend to exhibit skewed perspective when comparing their own works to someone else's. They will see other people's writing as genius and worthy of loads of praise while then thinking their own writing is idiotic, mundane, stupid, lame, and in extreme cases the worst thing ever written.

#3 - Tendency to display secretive behavior with their lap tops or excessive, ambiguously named folders among Word documents stored on one's hard drive.

#2 - Along those same lines, may tend to clear internet history more often than someone looking at too much porn or searching for creative ways to kill their boss.

#1 - No longer concerned about the age-old fear of dying while wearing dirty underwear, but intensely worried that upon quick and accidental death their secret fanfic might be discovered!


  1. I totally relate to 6 and 7. I consider myself to have a pretty bad memory when it comes to everyday mundane stuff. But when it comes to Han and Leia lovey dovey scenes in the EU I have an amazing sense of recall and can reel off most of the exact page numbers. I know we all slam the EU writers for lack of nice scenes between them, but infact there are quite a few, and they possibly have sex more times than we may have first thought!!

    I bet you can all guess which bit my copy of Tatooine Ghost falls open on. And there's such a huge crease down the spine on that page that I expect it to fall out every time I open it.

  2. I can relate to 16, 14, 13, 12, 10-8, and 5-1. I would also like to add one...

    #18 feeling guilty that you are not able to update your fanfic because other things keep getting in the way of your your job, or your children.

  3. That's funny. I won't comment on all of them. Certainly am guilty of several of them.

    14 - I don't actually do this. But I would say at least "I know" is better than "Back at ya, babe."

    10 - Don't forget the intense fear before sending/posting your first fanfic and after you hit send thinking "What have I done?"

    8 - I've been known to annoy my daughter with the rewinding of the movies. I may not know page numbers of scenes in the books, but I know which chapter the kiss is in on ESB DVD. It has varied slightly from DVD and blu-ray.

    7 - Man, this was true for me back in 1980 with ESB. Those pages are torn up!

    1 - Yes, my office will need a major cleaning if I pass on.

    You could include annoying family members with your latest story idea, but I know most don't talk about writing with family. I'm odd that way probably. Glad my hubby puts up with it.

    And what about thinking about writing while at work?

  4. Yes, amara z, I forgot no.8. Totally agree with you. Back in the days of VHS (remember that?) I was a serial rewinder. All the best Han and Leia scenes ended up with severe picture distortion where the tape was virtually worn out!

    Is it possible to wear out a blu-ray? Cos I've watched that alternate kiss scene an unhealthy amount of times already.

  5. I bet there are ways. I put some of it on my iPad so I can watch it as much as I want. :)

    1. How do you put it on your iPad? I must really be missing out cos I've got nothing that exciting on my iPad!

    2. Heh heh. I have my ways. Message me on at RatherKissAWookie and can give you the details.

    3. Does it involve having a bluray disc drive on your computer, because sadly I don't have one of those.....

  6. Oh wow, I can totally relate to all of those. Especially 17, 16, 13, 10, 5, 4, 3, 2 and 1.

    17 - I was having one of these a few nights ago when my friend was over, and apparently I started sleep talking majorly. Fortunately, I din't say anything star wars related. Phew.

    16 - Han and Leia have ruined every other fictional romance I have ever really been into. The other ones just don't seem to hold up.

    13 - I'm going to have to start bringing my laptop to school this year, and I made my dad make a whole new login - desktop thingy so no one would start going through my folders.

    10 - Yes, it most definitely does.

    5 - I got ONE bad review on a story, and it totally canceled out all the other great reviews. I kept telling myself that it was just one person's opinion, and I shouldn't worry about it, but I couldn't stop agonizing over the review for days :(

    4, 3, 2 - Definitely!

    1 - I'm terrified of that happening, but also that I will die spontaneously and not finish my fanfics. I know, there are other things I should be a lot more worried about, but I hate seeing unfinished fanfics.

  7. Get out of my head!

    You know, I purposely bent some of my books back in random places because it was obvious what pages I had read a thousand times.

    I ripped ESB to my computer (so I could stick it on an ipod for long trips) and I know the exact place to move the marker to get to the kiss scene.

    1. Right on! I just ripped the one chapter. :)

  8. I must say that the H/L fanfic writer truths also appliy to H/L fanfic readers! Although I can't blame my excessive singleness on Han. ;-)
    Numbers 13, 11, 12, 3, 2 and 1 certainly apply to me. That's why my laptop, iPhone and Kindle are all password protected. In fact, I was just thinking about how I should put the massive quantities of fanfic on my Kindle into a collection that won't attract attention when I demonstrate how it works to other people. I suppose I should give someone my passwords so they can handle my affairs in case I get hit by a bus/struck by lightning, but I'm afraid of the other stuff they would find!
    I'll also admit to re-watching certain scenes on my DVDs, but they're not *all* H/L scenes...some of them just have Han in them!

  9. I know that the first kiss happens somewhere around 58 minutes into ESB, is that weird?

  10. Not at all, Zyra. It's chapter 24 in the blu-ray. Think chapter 23 on my DVD.

    MissMimi, ah, yes. There is that one glorious scene of Han's butt as he moves around the bowels of the Falcon. Still want to see that in 3D. :)

  11. OH, and I shold also mention that there are probably hundreds of other reasons I'm single aside from just comparing men to Han Solo, so surely this obsession can't really be blamed for it!

  12. Speaking of unfinished fanfics due to death, just imagine if an internet friend of yours died. How would you ever even know? I've thought about this many times.

  13. We've thought of that, too! I know a couple of people's real identities and Push knows mine and if anyone else knows it, I don't know that they know! You should probably become close enough "friends" with at least one person on here who might know if you died. Or like, Digs has joked that her sister will let me know if she dies and I'm allowed to finish any of her fanfics ;) We can all just try not to die, though. There was a fanfic writer a while back, before I was even active on the fanfic scene, who actually died, but I believe people knew who she really was. I'm sad to say I don't remember right now, and she was only in her 40's if I recall correctly :(

    1. I remember hearing about, think her name was Pat something. Such a shame.

      Zyra, if it's any consolation, I have also been pretty unlucky with men over the years and have been single for too long now. But sometimes I think it's easier not to bother!

  14. Wish you could edit your posts....obviously I missed out the word "that" in first line of above post. It's annoying I can't go back and add it. Oh well.

    It's not me just being dense is it? You can't edit posts, can you?

  15. Good point about Internet friends. I'll make sure to leave instructions in case something happens. You can divvy up what I have unfinished. Hopefully it won't come to that. Man, that's a bummer.

    In terms of men, better to be picky than to pick the wrong guy I guess. Of course, I should talk. I didn't know my husband that long when we got engaged.

    1. Oh I found the right guy, no question....unfortunately he married somebody else. Long story....

    2. That's a bummer. Sorry to hear that. Been known to happen.

  16. I am guilty of most of these as well. especially since we got the new computer I am totally obsessed with clearing the internet history lest hubby or daughter discover my secret life. not sure which would be worse.

    I live in fear that someone will find the fanfic on my nook.
    I password protect my flash drive where the fanfic lives.
    On the rare occasions whenever I am at home alone the first thing I always think of to do is watch ESB.

    I am so lame.

  17. hahaha my google are you a human word was "burpper"

  18. Awesome word. I think I need to hide my fanfic better. But I always have to remind myself that I don't snoop around on my friends' computers if I use them so I'd like to assume that they don't do that to mine.

    This guy I had a crush on starting when we were about... 10 posts Star Wars quotes on his facebook quite often, and that had nothing to do with why I had a crush on him. I didn't even know he liked it until just recently. Should I post more SW quotes in the hopes that he notices?

    1. Go girl. Post those quotes! You never know he maybe secretly waiting and hoping that you do.

  19. Haha glad i'm not the only one with really weird google words, jzhanfan!!

    Yes, definitely post Star Wars quotes!

    Well, if i die... hopefully I'll have time to mention it on this blog. Maybe someone on here can finish my stories. Wow, that sounds a bit morbid, doesn't it?

  20. I would go for posting quotes. You never know.

    And I happened to think of another possible truth today. You spend more time looking at wookieepedia than CNN or searching on google.