Thursday, January 26, 2012
Universal Han and Leia FanFic Writer Truths
So, we've done a couple of these 'universal truths' posts and we decided doing one on ourselves might be kinda fun. You know, those things that all of us do as Han and Leia writers, lovers and fanatics. Those things that we are so sure we are the only people in the universe who think, feel or act this way (until we found this blog).
#17 - Dreaming of Star Wars, either pleasant experiences or nightmares involving loved ones discovering their secret.
#16 - Comparing other romantic relationships in regular movies to Han and Leia and listing in one's head the ways in which others are inferior or getting ideas from movies and TV shows and thinking, "This could make a good fanfic."
#15 - Comparing potential suitors to Han Solo. *Dangerous practice as it can lead to excessive singleness, to which Zyra is a tragic example.
#14 - Tendency to reply "I know" when someone says, "I love you" rather than the traditional, "I love you, too."
#13 - Heart palpitations if someone asks to check their e-mail or something on your lap top for intense fear that they will snoop in your files and find your fanfic.
#12 - Excessive Star Wars related bookmarks amongst internet favorites.
#11 - Hard drive is overloaded with saved, adorable pictures of Han and Leia, often outnumbering photos of one's own family.
#10 - The time between when a writer hits the publish button and when (or if) they receive their first review drags on at a rate of 10,000 times slower than normal speed.
#9 - The number of reviews seems to be conversely proportionate to the excitement the writer has for that chapter. Writer is super excited by a certain chapter = less reviews than other chapters.
#8 - Over-contemplating of things in the movies like the trip to Bespin or may display strange behavior such as rewinding to watch the movie kisses 10-11 times before moving on to the next scene.
#7 - Often times you can find specific wear patterns in the pages of our EU novels, most notably any time Han and Leia kiss or share some nice moment and it may or may not be completely falling apart if it ever comes close to alluding to sex.
#6 - Ability to recite exact page numbers of any Han/Leia noteworthy moments without even being anywhere near the book.
#5 - One critical or bad review will cancel out at least 30 good reviews in its wake.
#4 - Writers often tend to exhibit skewed perspective when comparing their own works to someone else's. They will see other people's writing as genius and worthy of loads of praise while then thinking their own writing is idiotic, mundane, stupid, lame, and in extreme cases the worst thing ever written.
#3 - Tendency to display secretive behavior with their lap tops or excessive, ambiguously named folders among Word documents stored on one's hard drive.
#2 - Along those same lines, may tend to clear internet history more often than someone looking at too much porn or searching for creative ways to kill their boss.
#1 - No longer concerned about the age-old fear of dying while wearing dirty underwear, but intensely worried that upon quick and accidental death their secret fanfic might be discovered!