Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Change of Heart: A Missing Moment

I had decided I wanted to tackle one of the missing moments I'd been talking about, or at least attempt to. For some reason lately I feel like I've forgotten how to write so I'm not thrilled with it but I finally showed it to Push and she told me to post it, so here it is. This would be when Leia has just told Han that she wants to have kids and picks up immediately at the end of Tatooine Ghost.

"All right, if it has to be now." Han brought their nose around, pointing them into deep space. The Falcon continued to slip farther toward the two suns-sideways. "I guess it's just my way of facing the future."

"Facing the future?" Leia asked.

"You know." Han forced the throttles past the overload stops. The Falcon shuddered, seemed to hesitate... and finally pulled free of the gravity well. He exhaled in relief and activated the hyperdrive. "Believing in it."

"Good answer." Leia leaned closer and, as the stars stretched into the iridescent blur of hyperspace, gently kissed Han on the neck. "I believe in it, too."

It took every ounce of willpower Han had to keep his mind on the task at hand after he heard Leia say those words and felt his skin tingle where she'd kissed him. Did she mean what he thought she did?

He checked his instruments one last time to make sure they were headed on a safe course and then turned to look at his wife in stunned disbelief, finding a mischievous smile across her lips. “Are you telling me what I think you’re telling me?”

“If you think I’m telling you that I want little Solos too, then yes.”

Normally after a narrow escape Han would feel his pulse rate slow, but now that they were safe, there was a whole new reason for it to quicken. Having children with Leia was the only thing left in life that he wanted but didn’t have, and she had nearly denied him. It had pained him to think that they would not be able to share their love with children of their own and create life that was both his and hers, his first real family. But he would not force her to do something she so desperately didn’t want, no matter how much it hurt him.

He’d hinted more and more that it was something he desired strongly, but his wife was not usually known for changing her mind. Well, she had at least in the past changed her opinion of him, otherwise he wouldn’t be sitting there in that cockpit married to a princess. So while this was something he wanted from her, it was difficult to believe that she meant what she had said. The words came out more quietly than he intended, but he was almost afraid to ask again, in case she said no. “You want to have a baby?”

Sensing his trepidation, she stood and walked over to him, sitting crossways in his lap and wrapping her arms around his neck, answering him with simply a nod and the smile that hadn’t waned. Her deep brown eyes gazed into his, their noses nearly touching as he felt her breath on his lips. “I want to have a baby.”

He smiled and tried to laugh but his throat was closing up, and before he could say anything she leaned in and kissed him, gently at first before it slowly deepened. He felt all of the tenseness in his muscles dissipate as the full meaning of what she had said sank in.

He pulled away from her and took a deep breath. “You’re not just saying that because it’s what I want, are you? I want you to want a family just as much as I do.” It wasn’t often he gave her a chance to back down out of an argument that he had somehow managed to win. But this decision was far too life changing to be entered into with anything but total commitment and desire.

Her fingers gently played with his hair and he felt his skin tingle down to his spine. “Han, I know that I was against the idea before, but it wasn’t because I didn’t love the idea of having children with you. I was just… afraid of what they might become. But I had a chance to do some thinking…”

“This isn’t just because I almost died in the desert, is it?”

She shook her head. “No, of course not. I guess I just saw that my father started out as a normal little boy just like anyone else. There’s no way of knowing what a child will turn out to be. And I don’t want to let my own fears get in the way of something we both want. Something that will most likely make us incredibly happy.”

“You’re sure now, right? I don’t think I can take it if you change your mind.”
She nodded again and brought her hands up to frame his face. “I think it’d be a shame to let your DNA go to waste, don’t you?”

“Gods, I love you,” he said before leaning in to kiss her again. His arms moved up her back and pulled her closer. This woman had already given him far more than he deserved in this life and now she was going to give him a family.

His hands moved down to the hem of her shirt before he remembered that they were not alone. Frustrated, he leaned back and rested his forehead against hers. “Just when did you want to get started on this?”

She grinned from ear to ear and the lighting from the instrument panel reflected brilliantly in her eyes. “You know that we’ve got some pretty strong birth control methods in place at the moment that we’ll have to take care of first, don’t you?”

Leaning in, he trailed his lips along her neck and up to her ear. “It doesn’t mean we can’t practice a little, does it?”

Her eyebrows arched. “Only a little?”

“Sorry, I meant as much as humanly possible.”

She laughed. “That sounds more like the man I married.”

He lifted her to her feet and stood next to her, taking her hand. “Why don’t we take this somewhere private?”

“Good idea.”

As he led her back toward their cabin he had a flash of what it might be like to have little kids running around his beloved ship. The idea both delighted and terrified him, but almost every good thing that had happened in his life was the result of taking a great risk and a leap of faith. And with Leia by his side, there wasn’t anything he couldn’t handle. Not even kids with his own propensity for trouble, which he suspected they’d wind up with.

And if his kids had Leia as their mother, he was confident they would turn out just fine.


Okay, so there it is. And please note that I do not subscribe to the kids dying and turning all Sith, so we can pretend that never happens and that Han is right and his kids turn out fine and great and give them grandchildren and everyone lives happily ever after. Sound good?


  1. I think Tatooine Ghost is my favourite EU book EVER. I'm printing this and sticking it in at the back of my copy. :)
    great story (as always)!!

  2. This was really cute and sweet. You did a great job. Liked her one comment - "That sounds more like the man I married."

  3. Aww, that was great! Very sweet! I loved that comment too, and the 'as much as humanly possible' part.

  4. That was so sweet.

    I love how Han is still so concerned that he wants it to be what she really wants, and not something she's saying just to please him. It's adorable when he thinks of her needs first.

    This follows on so brilliantly from the book it could almost have been written by Denning.

    I also enjoyed the little exchange about "practicing".

    I'm with you Zyra, these two deserve a future with no dead kids and no Sith kids. As if they weren't treated badly enough in EU, killing two of their children really rubbed salt into the wound.

    Thanks for sharing. You did a great job.

  5. I agree with everyone's comments, I'll be printing it out as well. It was a really sweet and thoughtful. I enjoyed reading it this morning, thank you.

  6. Thanks, guys. And hopefully none of you are upset that the "practice" is not depicted. I mean, if every single one of these missing moments depicted sex it would get pretty boring. You might not think it would, but it's true. Not to say SOME of them can't have it!

  7. I'm so glad you ended up sharing this. It's a really great moment for them. I like Han's trepidation, too. Just the way he really wants to make sure she WANTS it as much as he does. You always capture their 'voices' perfectly and you didn't disappoint here, either. Great Job, Zyra!

  8. "if every single one of these missing moments depicted sex it would get pretty boring."
    Ha-ha, I beg to differ.
    Current background picture case in point!

  9. Got to agree, seams2be. On both accounts.

  10. Sex between Han and Leia is never boring.....just ask them.

    Seriously though, I get what you're saying Zyra. This particular "moment" works perfectly well without the sex. Plus we can use our imagination right?

    That's not to say we don't enjoy reading about the sex too!

  11. I'm sure they never find it boring :)

    I'm glad you enjoyed it anyway. In this case the point of the story wasn't HOW the baby was made (or how it would be) but just coming to the decision and Leia changing her mind. So sex would've been kind of gratuitous. I'll try and let them do it next time.

  12. Just want to say that I LOVE this background pic. And the quote's hilarious, too.

    I don't think Han and Leia could ever be bored with sex, but I get what you mean. And that missing moment just ended so well right there, I don't think it would have worked so well if the sex had been added on.

  13. I'm not sure any of us would mind gratuitous sex. But I get what you mean. Sometimes I have to stop myself when I'm writing and ask what is integral to the story.

  14. Forgot how to write? This is great! I always thought this deserved the missing moment treatment, and this does flow really well with the book. Now I feel satisfied. I like how Han makes triple sure that she's sure.

  15. Just wanted to say, this blog (pictures, stories, comments, quotes) has been a fun bright-spot in an otherwise really stressful reality. Thanks for making me smile (and sigh....love the background pic)

  16. Just have to say that I totally agree with you, Seams2be!

  17. very cute and true to the story.