Tuesday, January 10, 2012

What Good is a Fandom if You Ain’t Around to Play in it?



I'm almost certain this is our very first ever non-Han and/or Leia photo.  I have to apologize, but this picture just spoke to me.  I'm not really sure why.  ;-)

Seriously though, it's scary how much I identify with this pic and its accompanied caption.  I have to imagine that someday my obsession with Han and Leia might have to wane – at least oh, so slightly.  Until then, I eye boring, normal, everyday life with distain.  Grocery shop?  Pay bills?  Dare I say it…homework?  Or even worse…real work?  Ha!  When there’s a new chapter of fanfic up to read?  Or write?  Not to mention a new blog post to craft or comment on? 

Oh, the humanity!

I really have a hard time remembering what I did before I fell into this whole fandom thing.  I must’ve had a lot of free time on my hands.  That’s all I can figure.  I know before I started reading the EU books my bookshelf was neatly designed with stacks of books here and there, some lying on their sides, some standing so as to be aesthetically pleasing to the eye.  (I saw that once on TLC, back when I watched television.)  Now my book shelf is end-to-end Star Wars books all standing up like little storm troopers neatly in rows.

My husband’s cousin came to visit and she was perusing my bookshelf.  I felt slightly embarrassed by the obscene amount of Star Wars books that litter its shelves now.  Seriously, no one understands.  She didn’t say anything.  I didn’t say anything.  The moment could only be described as awkward.  After that I contemplated moving all of my books to the bedroom.  But who has the time?  I had to write this post, after all.  And people thinking your slightly crazy isn’t such a bad thing sometimes.  For example:  this cousin has two young children and we don’t live in our home town, so we are her closest relatives.  People don’t ask suspected crazies to babysit their kids.  I’m just saying.  I don’t have time for that.  I’ve got to finish reading the next book in the EU book club.

My kids are easy.  They love Star Wars and think it’s cool that I do, too.  I know I have but a precious few years before all of that will change.  But, hell, you could be a flipping rock star and your teenager would be embarrassed of you, so it doesn’t really matter.  My husband is…accommodating.  I’ve read him some of my writing, maybe about five thousand words overall of the 100K+ I’ve written.  But he’s clueless.  The other day, while home for the holidays, he suggested we ‘pop in Episode I of Star Wars’.  Cool, right?  I pulled out my blu-rays and popped in Episode I and at the very first scene he says, “I don’t remember this part.”  I say, “Which episode are you talking about?”  Response:  “Episode one!  The first one that came out, you know, with the Death Star.”  I know, I know, I should at least be happy that he only wants to see the OT and doesn’t even acknowledge the prequels.  But he’s totally clueless.

Another example:

Husband to Child:  “What’s a touchdown worth?”

Child:  “I don’t know.”

Husband to Child:  “What planet is Chewbacca from?”

Child:  “Kashyyyk!”

Husband to me:  “There’s something wrong with this picture.”

Me:  [grins]

Gotta love it!

I often feel unjustly persecuted when I feel I have to 'hide' my love of Star Wars.  And I don't even try to hide it all that much.  I have a Darth Vader gumball dispenser on my desk at work.  I sport my Star Wars Target t-shirts on the weekends.  But I have changed my SW tee before going to drop my kid off at a friend's house.  It's really unlike me to care what people think, but somehow this is different.  It's as if they might see me wearing that shirt and suspect how very far deep I am in this thing.  It's ridiculous.  Especially when I know that no matter how much they might imagine, it would pale in comparison to the truth.

I know we've talked about this before.  It's not as if I'm a serial killer on the sly.  I'm just a SW fanatic, for the love of Jabba the Hutt!  I know Princess Leia's last name and Han Solo's homeworld.  I have more pictures of Harrison Ford and Carrie Fisher on my computer than I do of my own mother.  I'm reading over 50 books for the second time in less than two years.  Alright, so the first step in any addiction is to admit you have a problem. 

I don't see the problem. 

Anyway, there wasn’t much more of a point to this post, other than to discuss my obsession.  Kind of obsessive in itself, isn’t it?  Anybody else have stories to tell of how the real world views their compulsion?  Feel free to share ‘em.  Meanwhile I’ll be pretending to have a real life while I'm anxiously awaiting your comments…

81 comments:

  1. LOL, Push. You knew you wouldn’t have to wait long for a response. I could read SW fanfic all day and reading has cut into my time to sleep from time to time.

    Wow, there are gradations of who knows about my interest in Star Wars and how much they know. I’m a programmer, so I can get a way with some geekiness at work. Told a couple of co-workers about my Death Star and they thought that was cool. Mostly I don’t talk about it though.

    My in-laws got a dose of things at Christmas. How could they not with all the Star Wars goodies? I think all they said was, “you guys really like Star Wars.” I tend to keep a bunch of H/L photos on my ipad, but keep them in folders to “hide” them. I was showing my mother-in-law how the ipad works and she probably got an eyeful of those too.

    Pretty sure my daughter thinks I’m weird and/or nuts, but she’s talked about writing her own story. That’s pretty cute considering she’s only 10.

    My husband knows the full extent of things. He probably thinks I’m crazy too, but he’s known that for years. He doesn’t say much about it/leaves me alone about it. I actually talk to him about this stuff all the time. I like to bounce story ideas off of him. He’s got a good sense of humor and some really funny ideas. He suggested an idea last week that probably would have been good for the joint story. But he’s not a writer and doesn’t necessarily get being dramatic and pushing the envelope.

    We have the same issue in my house. If someone refers to movie number one we have to clarify Episode I or Episode IV. For my husband and I, it’s Episode IV, but not for my son. It gets confusing.

    I can tell if someone is off-sides in a football game and love Star Wars. Wonder what that says about me? =)

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  2. "The first step in any addiction is to recognise you have a problem"

    "I don't see the problem"

    Haa, I love that, and it's so true. I certainly don't see the problem, but I worry like hell that other people will. Some people know I have an interest in SW but no one other than my best friend knows the extent of my obsession, and especially my Han and Leia addiction. I just think people would think I was....odd.

    I recently ordered a t-shirt with Han and Leia on from donrobot.com, and I feel really proud to be getting it, and will be like THE best shirt ever, but would I wear it out of the house.....most probably not, even though deep down I would love to show it off to the world.

    I have a SW ringtone on my phone, and all my text alerts are SW voices or noises, but I turn the volume down on the bus to work incase anyone hears them and thinks I'm weird. Once I forgot, and I received a text on the bus to the sound of Artoo bleeping like crazy, I felt so embarrassed, but in reality probably no one else cared.

    If I go in a book shop to flick through the latest SW novel I have to wait til there's no one looking, because, do I really look the type who would be looking at that stupid stuff??

    I too have more pics of Harrison and Carrie on my hard drive than of my own family.

    My mother expressed an interest in learning about the Internet. She's not very computer literate so I have been giving her some lessons of how to "surf" on my iPad because thought she would find it easier. But I purposely installed a different web browser for her to use so she wouldn't see my Han and Leia bookmarks, which is mostly fanfic. I also change my Han and Leia background to something else every time she's going to use it!!

    Life without SW, er, what's that? I too often wonder what I would do without all this!!

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  3. Push, I enjoyed reading your post. What I loved so much about this blog, is that I felt a little less “alone” for being obsessed with Han and Leia as an adult. It is so comforting to know “I’m not the only one”. I stalked this blog for a long time before getting the courage up to actually “follow” and “comment”. We are a homeschool family, so I have gotten used to the judgmental comments/looks from family and strangers (our friends are either as crazy as we are or love and accept us for who we are). We enjoy being "non-traditional". We have fully embraced our fandom and really don’t care what people think or who knows about it. My husband is just as crazy as the rest of us (in fact, I will argue he is the craziest and makes life fun). Our whole Han/Leia obsession happened this past summer for us as a couple. Someday I will have to write out that story. I'll just say that Troy Denning’s “Recovery” really hit close to home (minus the whole traumatic leg injury thing). Both my girls (ages 10 and 15) have been an inspiration to me. They are really the ones to thank for bringing Star Wars back into our lives. Thanks for the post topic.

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  4. I like your mention of even if they sort of found out, any ideas they would conjure up would probably pale in comparison to how deep it truly goes. Nobody in my real life knows I have a Han and Leia obsession. People definitely know I love Star Wars, but who doesn't love Star Wars? I've got a lot of cousins who are way into it, too, and my nephew, so when we all get together we will occasionally communicate in SW quotes. Oh and I think when I first found fanfic I showed some to my (male) cousins, but it wasn't mushy stuff and I don't think they really got into it at all, though some of them did read the books.

    Outwardly, you might never know. I've got the SW t-shirts and I am waiting to build up the courage to wear one of them out and about, but aside from a couple of times underneath a zip-up hoodie where you can make out some of the shirt, but not enough to really tell what it says, I haven't gotten there yet. My brother got me a shirt for Christmas, maybe I'll wear it just to show I'm using his gift... without telling him I wear it to sleep a lot. The only SW item in my bedroom is a little stuffed Chewie my brother gave me, and my basement is where the books are on the shelf and the posters are. And pretty much nobody goes down there but me, so it's hard to stumble on. I guess now I'm remembering bringing some friends down there once for something, and either they didn't notice or chose not to comment. There are some "normal" books on that shelf, too.

    I can at least say that I don't think fanfic has gotten in the way of real life, although there are some nights I go to bed later than planned because I was reading or writing or waiting for a response on something. I don't think about it all day every day but if there isn't anything else really pressing on my mind, they certainly are in my thoughts quite a bit! Over the years, since I started reading the books and found fanfic, I'd say my obsessiveness moved in waves, but a lot of that had to do with who I had to talk to about it. Nobody to talk to, not much interest for me, either. So this may make me stuck thinking about it a lot forever. It pains me if I have to go all day without checking my e-mail about this stuff!

    All that said, as far as other people, my theory is that just about everyone has some sort of interest that they are embarrassed about and wouldn't want to share with other people. This might even be one of the less embarrassing ones!

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  5. "...as far as other people, my theory is that just about everyone has some sort of interest that they are embarrassed about and wouldn't want to share with other people. This might even be one of the less embarrassing ones!"

    Yep. And much easier to explain. Look at how ga-ga people go over Harry Potter and Twlight.

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  6. Twilight, most definitely. But I do like Harry Potter, not obsessively mind you.

    Actually, imagine if you were obsessed by Anakin and Padme. Then I think you really would have a very embarrassing problem.

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  7. My fanfic has definitely gotten in the way of real life! I am always tired now, because I honestly can't remember the last time Han and Leia didn't cut into my sleep. I now hate having sleepovers for more than one day because I mss so much fanfic and writing time. Not to mention how much I freak out if there's no internet!

    Absolutely no one knows about my obsession. My parents kind of know that I like Star Wars, but I think they're the only ones. It's actually a little weird, since everyone knows I have a Star Trek obsession - or I used to until Han and Leia came along - but I would freak out if anyone knew about the SW.

    A little while ago, when I first discovered fan fiction, I told my friend (who also loves writing) that I had been looking up something for a book we both love, and had found this thing called fanfic, and had read some of it. She gave me this horrified look, and was like, 'Oh my god, who would actually be obsessed with something enough to write about it?" That was the last time i really tried to tell anyone that I wrote fan fiction.

    My friends all love to snoop around on my computer, so I always have to remember to upload all writing to my email or something and clear my history all the time.

    I think my main problem with telling people I like SW is that I don't want to be put back in the 'geek' role at school. Then again, one of the really popular girls wore a SW t - shirt to school a little while ago, so maybe I;m wrong about that.

    Ok, I'm pretty tired, so I'm going to stop rambling now.

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  8. I know what you mean about feeling like you have to hide it... and one of my best friends thinks I'm friggin' nuts. Luckily I have several other friends that get as excited about some of this stuff as I do. I just lent another friend The Jedi Path and she was psyched! And then there are guys like Joe who think my sweatshirt is awesome... and a lot of the other guys in JROTC too, but I figured I'd mention him since I told you about that the other day. So yeah. And there's one kid who can make a very Chewie-esque noise. I should record him on my phone...

    BTW, love the background pic.

    That is all.

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  9. Claire, lol! You're killing me. I like Harry Potter too, but not obssessed about it either. I love the H/L shirt. I'd wear it on the weekend.

    GoldDragon, I wouldn't worry too much about being a geek. But I understand in high school, it's not cool. You get to my age and nobody cares any more. The geeks are the ones doing well for themselves. I married a geek and he couldn't be more wonderful. Friends snooping on your computer? Ugh!

    MT, love that background pic too.

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  10. Again, I'm pretty shameless about my SW love, but I also have a lot of friends who are fans, just not in as deep as I am (as far as I know...). In fact, one of my bands wants to do metal covers of SW music. I wear the shirts, action figures and art cover my room, there's a Rebel Alliance sticker on my car, I drive my mom crazy at home by watching the movies often. But I still draw the line at fan fiction. Although, I have a funny story about that. I was on the phone a while ago with my birth mother, who I'm pretty close with, when she hesitantly asked me if I was familiar with fan fiction. In my head I was like, oh damn she knows. Turns out she's been writing it too, it runs in my blood! It wasn't for SW though, it was like X-Men or something...still, funny. Of course I've confessed it to her now but I've yet to show her any of it.

    Anyway, yeah. I just keep in mind that there are plenty of people out there with stranger obsessions than you or me, the internet has proven that.

    I've definitely stayed up too late reading stories. I remember coming across some multi-chapter story and nodding off next to my laptop before I could finish it. Yep, awesome. :P

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  11. Elivagar, your bands? You're in bands? How cool is that!

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  12. LOL! I've always liked Star Wars, and no one has ever really given me a hard time about it except my mom. Most of hipster-wannabe friends also like Star Wars, and we post funny Star Wars things we find on each other's FB pages with the shout out "For my Star Wars Peeps".

    Now, do people know I write fanfic? No. Not at all. See, since I'm in grad school I have to spend a lot of time on the computer, writing papers, doing research, etc. So I always use the "I'm doing homework excuse". No one is the wiser. :)

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  13. Not many people know that I do...this. It's strictly an internet thing these days, and most of my old action figures and EU books and posters and whatnot are in my parents' basement, because I got out of the fandom once and just recently got back in.

    I was a geek girl in high school. Everyone knew I loved SW...I also worked at a video game store and played D&D listened to Meat Loaf and Bonnie Tyler long after they were cool and could have told you the current principal actors in just about every Broadway musical showing at the time...it wasn't JUST SW in other words, I was a weird kid and pretty proud of it. I also got picked on for it a little...but I went to a really small high school and that helped, it was a lot harder to just slap someone with a label like "geek" or "jock" or "airhead" or whatever because there were only 30 of us, we kind of HAD to get to know each other.

    Most of my friends outside of school were older guys though...I will give my parents credit for not freaking out about that.

    The fanfic aspect, though, no one really knows about. I have one RL friend who knows about it, and she also reads and writes fanfic for a different fandom. Other than that...everyone knows I'm geeky about Star Wars and a handful of other things, but no one knows I'm into fanfic, and I intend to keep it that way!

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  14. Elivagar, I have a Rebel Alliance sticker on my car too!!. Sad thing is it's a mini-van mom-mobile.
    There is also a Jedi sticker on the kids side. Love the background picture. I wonder what they are grinning about? Actually we probably all know.

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  15. Amara, yep! Closest thing to a job I have, haha...

    Seams, right on!

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  16. This post pretty much describes my life, except I don't have a lot of visible signs of fandom such as T-shirts and profic books. What I do have is fanfic. Lots and lots of fanfic. I can't tell you how excited I was when I figured out how you can upload fanfic onto a Kindle...now I have more fanfic on my Kindle than "real" books! I don't have much concern about other people seeing my fanfic, pictures or bookmarks (all of which I have in abundance) since I live alone and all of my devices are password protected.

    I think that it's socially acceptable for people my age (40-ish) to make SW references in everyday life because it is part of our generation's culture. On the other hand, having a fannish obsession is another matter. I have several of them and tend to rotate fandoms as the mood strikes me, but this is something I never bring up in real life. And I do admit to staying up way too late reading fanfic...

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  17. I also have the mom van that has been named the Millennium Falcon. :)

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  18. A few years ago, I had a boss who I showed my star wars fanfiction stories on the computer. I can't really remember how she reacted but I wasn't fired so she can't have been too perturbed, right? Since then, however, I've always kept the whole fanfiction thing to myself.
    My star wars obsession is well known to my family/friends. I get Princess Leia bobbleheads and SpudTroopers for xmas. I've never been embarassed about it. It helps that I was homeschooled during high school, I think. In primary school, I was constantly teased for being a Harry Potter fan. By the time I got into Star Wars, I was being home-schooled and could safely enjoy whatever I wanted without fear of ridicule.
    At the moment, Han and Leia are helping me get through each day. I quit my job last year because my boss was a tyrant, not unlike Emperor Palpatine, and I live on the central coast of Australia where it's really hard to find jobs. It's tough constantly getting your hopes up only to be rejected because you're too young or too inexperienced or you used too many Star Wars references during the interview (just kidding!). So it's nice to come home knowing that for awhile I can escape into a galaxy far far away. And it's nice to know that there are like-minded poeple out there, too!

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  19. The funny thing is, I know I have facebook friends who totally love Star Wars and while I do jump in with quotes if things are going that way, I don't get into the depth of it. These are much newer friends and people I don't get to see that often, so it's hard to like, strike up conversation. But recently there have been signs like moms posting pictures of their kids building Lego Falcon, followed by some close-up pics of Leia or Han in there, friends baking stormtrooper and Vader cookies, making the pancakes, stuff like that. All grown "adults" like me ;) Anyway, I probably shouldn't make a big deal about it, but I did once have an awful nightmare when sharing a hotel room with a friend a few months ago (one of the Falcon moms, actually) that she found my fanfic on my computer. I felt like my heart stopped in my sleep. Seriously, I don't have nightmares really and that was the worst one I can remember having in a long, LONG time, so I think I'll continue to hide it!

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  20. I once had a dream that I was Luke Skywalker being chased by Darth Vader. He chased me up a tree. It was the best dream I ever had.

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  21. Blamey77, that's priceless! I had a dream once that Darth Vader was teaching my class at school. It was awesome. Zyra, I had a dream like that once, and it was horrible. I also had a really realistic dream that I got the blu rays and then started commenting on this blog about it. When I woke up, I actually had my laptop out and had this blog open. I think I may need to see a psychiatrist, LOL!

    Speaking of trying to hide it... My friend is spending the night, and I thought she was asleep so I started reading all the comments on this blog. Either she wasn't asleep or my laughter woke her up, because she started trying to make me show her what I was doing!

    Love the background pic, too!

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  22. See I NEVER dream about SW, which is quite bizarre really. Maybe my brain thinks about it so much during the day that it needs to have a rest during the night!

    I also got really excited the day I discovered I could add fanfic to my kindle. I just hate it at work when I'm reading it on my lunch break and I'm into a sex scene and someone asks "what you reading?" Ummm, nothing much, pretty rubbish really!

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  23. Fanfiction on Kindle!!!! My techie teen now has a new job. Get fanfic on mom's kindle. I will admit, I haven't read much fanfic, mostly because I do not have hours to spend on the computer. I usually only have a few minutes here and there. I've printed some your stories out to read while I'm waiting at dance lessons or something. Of the stuff I read, you all should be very proud of yourselves. You are all so gifted and talented. I love how you weave your stories and your individual styles show through. I'm in awe of all of you fanfic writers. My daughter has written many fanfics (I think her name is FallonSkywalker on fanfic.net). I will admit that I haven't read everything she has written (kinda afraid to). She always threatens me, when I do something embarrassing that she is going to write about us. Oh the pen is mightier than the sword. As far as dreams go. Years ago I had a Han and Leia dream and Jimmy Buffett was in it, some sort of beach party????? I don't remember details, but it was the coolest dream I ever had.

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  24. To me, there's a huge difference between having someone come over and see a few items of SW memorabilia on a shelf, having someone catch me READING fanfiction, and having someone catch me WRITING fanfiction.

    As far as reading goes, I don't actually read a lot of PWP, or NC-17 fics at all, really. Most of the fanfic I read is no racier than your average "intended for adults, but not specifically ADULT" novel, anyway. But fanfic kind of has a bad reputation, and I think a lot of people who don't have the personal experience of reading it themselves think it's all racy, kinky, weird out-of-nowhere pairings, things like that. So while the actual CONTENTS of most of what I read are going to be R-rated at most, and mostly gen or pairings that make sense with canon, I'm still not too eager to shout out to the world that I read fanfic, because to most people who don't read fanfic, I think there's a negative connotation that doesn't actually exist in 99% of actual fanfics.

    As far as writing...I don't show people in RL my original fiction either, so that's not even a fanfic thing. It's just too personal for anyone other than...strangers on the Internet. Yeah, that makes sense, right? ;)

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  25. Yesterday I saw a little red car that had the New Republic symbol on its back windshield (red) and I wondered if it was one of you guys!

    I don't have a problem wearing one of my SW t-shirts out to shop at the grocery store or Target or something. And I agree, having people know you love SW is very different than having people know that you read or write fanfiction.

    I also feel embarrassed when buying my SW EU books at the store. IDK why. Again, it's not like it's a porno mag. Geesh. I guess that's why I prefer Amazon. It comes to my door in a non-descript brown box. Again, it's like a dirty little secret!

    Oh and AmaraZ: I can spot an off-sides penalty, too. Do you have a team left in the playoffs? Geaux Saints!

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  26. I am always reluctant to buy them at the store, too. Or like when I recently took these latest ones out of the library. Sometimes I even think, "Should I pay cash so they don't know who I am from looking at my credit card?" It's stupid, it seems less embarrassing to me than buying a romance novel or something. As it is, I can just pretend I'm buying it as a gift, but yeah, Amazon is great.

    See, one thing I love is that we are not just geeky (we are geeky, but that is nothing we should be ashamed of) but we are all trying to use our love of Star Wars to put our talents to good use. We wouldn't be doing this if we weren't also passionate about writing, and this just gives us a way to express that creativity. Honestly, I'd love to make money as a writer (not a fanfic writer) but my problem is I'm not sure what to write! So this way I don't even have to come up with new characters, I can just write new stories using characters I already love.

    I have Star Wars dreams sometimes, but it's been a while. My favorite, and I've told Push about this one already, was that I was watching ROTJ and then suddenly there was this new scene I definitely hadn't seen before. Han and Leia... well, getting ready to do some stuff we can only write about. Relax, nobody was naked but there was some touching that led me to believe that it wouldn't take long before they were. And you know what my first thought was? "OMG, I have to tell Push about this!" And I'm not talking about telling her about the dream, I'm talking about what I was thinking in the dream, that I had to tell her that they added a new scene.

    I can understand fanfic having a bad reputation for crazy pairings and just being a lot of random sex. There IS a lot of that out there. But there are also a lot of really well done, well written stories.

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  27. SW dreams? Aw, man, I wish. I do get story ideas occassionally when I'm waking up. And have had some Buffy/Angel dreams.

    Got to agree, zyra, about being passionate about writing. Exactly. It's nice to have an outlet. Love the bit about the dream.

    No teams left, Push. We follow college ball more closely. Too bad Clemson embarassed the daylights out of themselves in the Orange Bowl (what a debacle that was!). Nebraska didn't fare much better.

    LOL, claire. I save all the sexy reading for my ipad at night.

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  28. Oh. I don't even want to TALK about being embarrassed in a Bowl game...

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  29. The only SW dream that I recall was that I was watching ESB, but everyone was singing their lines. Not like some over the top musical or anything, but it was awesome.

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  30. Zyra, that is definitely one of the dreams that I wish would come true.

    Hmm, I'm trying to imagine Han singing his lines. Or Yoda. Now that would definitely be very interesting.

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  31. Wow, I dunno about singing the lines. It would be interesting, but think I'm still in shock seeing Pierce Brosnan in Mamma Mia.

    Extra H/L in ESB or ROTJ would be awesome.

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  32. Elivagar, your dream reminds me of that episode of Buffy where they just sing all the way through.

    Hmm, I bet "why you stuck up, half witted, scruffy looking nerfherder" is tough to sing.

    Zyra, that sounds like my kind of dream. Do you remember whereabouts in ROTJ this extra scene was? Or was the whole movie just incoherent?

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  33. Screaming "you could use a good kiss' and most of that argument would have been a bit difficult too.

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  34. LOL, that was supposed to say 'singing' not screaming.

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  35. I was thinking of the same episode of Buffy.

    How about "you like me because I'm a scoundrel"? That might not be easy either.

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  36. Speaking of the Buffy musical, I always thought that 'Going through the motions' might be a song that Leia would sing after Alderaan's destruction. You know, if someone summoned the demon...using the amulet- okay so the Buffy storyline might not work in the SW universe but a girl can dream...
    Mmmmm....Han Solo singing 'Rest In Peace.' Doesn't make sense, but it would be hot.
    *puts 'Once More With Feeling' in the DVD player*

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  37. For some reason, I've been having a lot of difficulty in trying to post on the blog, but it looks like it's working again now. That being said, now I get to join in on the conversation!

    The only person who knows I write fanfiction is my best friend, and I only felt comfortable telling her because she is also into fanfiction and wouldn't judge.

    With the musical dream, for some reason, I just can't see Han/Harrison going for it. What would make it even funnier would be if everyone else sang and he just spoke his lines.

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  38. Elivagar, your mother writes fanfic too? That's pretty funny. I can't imagine any of my relatives writing fanfic... then again, for all I know, I could know some of you guys in real life.

    OMG, LadyxB, that would be hilarious if he just spoke.

    I saw a clip on youtube of a star wars musical where during the ANH cantina scene, 'Han' gets up and sings the 'millennium falcon' version of 'greased lightning'. Made me laugh because I was trying to imagine Harrison/Han dancing like that.

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  39. I'm behind. I forgot to comment, Seams, you were the "my mom wrote this!" story? That's too funny. It was cute! But I was amazed that there was a mother/daughter pair who could share in fanfic, that's awesome.

    Claire, I don't know exactly what part of the movie it was in, but they were on Endor. I think it was after the battle was won, Leia was in her Ewok dress, Han was.... just in his pants.

    I'm sometimes glad I didn't discover fanfic too early, before I had that filter about keeping it to myself. Actually, a year or two after I graduated one of the forums was run by a couple of people at my college. I didn't know them, but they even lived in my building. I wouldn't have really wanted anyone to even know that about my past, and surely would've had to change my fake name!

    I had at least one good friend who shared my general love of Harrison along with Star Wars. I do recall one night we were really tired but also really wanted to watch ESB, so we comprimised by saying that we would turn it off after Han went into carbonite :)

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  40. Han just in his pants? Oh, my! I'd be pissed to wake up from that one.

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  41. Yep. And his pants were even already unzipped, that's how I knew stuff was gonna happen ;) But then I got all crazy about how I had to tell Push there was a new scene and I woke up!

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  42. Oh, now you're just killing me. Dang....You could add that to any OT movie.

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  43. You can add that to any one of my dreams...

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  44. And I didn't even tell you where Leia's hands were...

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  45. When I was a lot younger i went through a phase of turning off ESB after Han got frozen. I just hated the fact that I wouldn't see Han again for the rest of the movie. But now I can sit and enjoy the whole thing, cos even without Han at the end it's still the best SW film by far.

    So, Zyra...Han was...shirtless??? (drools at the mere thought of it!)

    I really wish I could write fanfic. I used to get good grades at school for my creative writing, but then when I hit my twenties I just had a total mental block and all my potential plot bunnies ran away, and
    now I could never think of anything to write even if I wanted.

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  46. Oh damn, I obviously replied before Zyra revealed some more juicy details from that dream....man, how I wish I could continue where that one left off in my sleep tonight......

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  47. Zyra, you can't hold out on us! Do tell. Or at least write a fanfic about it. =)

    Claire, you never know. You may pick up writing again if you want. Play some games of what if.

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  48. Yes Claire, or try a hand at one of our challenges.

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  49. I considered doing the missing sexy time scene from Tatooine Ghost challenge, but I think having my first ever fanfic be a sex scene is probably not the ideal starting place. I have a few ideas for things they might say in that scene ( yes, they do find a moment to actually talk, believe it or not) but actually writing the sex seems a little bewildering...how do you pick the right words, how do you make it sound realistic?

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  50. I'll admit starting with a sex scene can be intimidating and I don't know if there's any way for me to help you get over that. But as far as what they say, don't overthink it. I LOVE writing their dialogue and would write just that if I could get away with it. Once you just start picturing them, what they say can come pretty easily. (just like Leia... sorry, I shouldn't have done that but I set myself up and couldn't let it go)

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  51. You don't have to write the sex. If you have a bit of dialogue that happens between where the book leaves off and where the horizontal shuffle begins, that would be a cool read, too.

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  52. Push gave better advice. Or even during, it's not necessary at all to describe exactly what's happening. The specifics of the sex are probably not relevant as long as they do it. Give it a shot and see what happens!

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  53. I would agree. Give it a shot. Describe what they're feeling if that's easier.

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  54. Thanks for your advice. I am thinking about it, but at this stage can't promise anything. Who knows, maybe one day I may surprise you...

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  55. Why don't I get the 'Han was shirtless' dream? Grr... Why is it that we get to see Luke and Anakin shirtless, but not Han?

    Anyway... Claire, you should definitely give it a go! Just try writing don the dialogue and see what happens...

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  56. Any kind of SW dream would be good for me...but obviously one as good as Zyra's would be most welcomed. I seem to get like random people from school popping up in my dreams, people I haven't thought of for years, I mean where the hell did they spring from?

    Went blank for a moment and thought...when was LUKE shirtless...oh yeah, bacta tank!!! Duh!!

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  57. Random people i haven't seen in years appear in my dreams a lot too. Damn, why couldn't Han have been put in bacta too?

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  58. That bacta tank scene was pretty short though.

    Still wondering where Leia's hands were during that dream. Although I can imagine.

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  59. I'm not sure I want to see Han in a diaper. We did get some nice ass angles. Still, yes. Disappointing.

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  60. You want to know where Leia's hands were...Zyra, correct me if I'm wrong but it probably went something like this....

    http://www.thisiswhyimbroke.com/han-job-t-shirt

    Seriously, that is best t shirt I've ever seen in my life....

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  61. Heh heh, well, that is what I was thinking. Reminds me of how young Leia is though. Oh, my.

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  62. Oh my god... That is an awesome t shirt. Wouldn't really want to wear it around town though...

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  63. Er no you wouldn't. And you certainly wouldn't wear it infront of your parents.

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  64. My husband would crack up if I wore around the house though...

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  65. Yep, that shirt is a good indicator of where Leia's hands were. To be clear, she was standing behind him, and her hands started on his chest and moved down... And I've seen that shirt for a while now and not yet built up the courage to buy it. I had some friends who went to an "inappropriate t-shirt" party and thought, man, if I ever go to one of those, THAT is gonna be my shirt!

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  66. An inaprropriate t - shirt party? I wanna go to one of those... Wow, I don't even want to think about what my parents would do if I wore that t - shirt in front of them.

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  67. Lol, I always see that shirt and want to buy it, just to have it. One of these days.

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  68. My parents might think it was funny if they understood the SW reference (which they wouldn't).

    Geez...Zyra...seriously killing me...

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  69. Even at my age, I wouldn't have the guts to wear that infront of my mother.

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  70. Speaking of tshirts....

    http://i25.photobucket.com/albums/c57/AmaraZ/Other/DSC03649.jpg

    Not quite as cool as the shirt above but I can wear this one out and about.

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  71. That's a nice shirt actually, its different, and I like that.

    This is the shirt that I've ordered....

    http://donrobot.tumblr.com/post/13590439485

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  72. Haha, I want that one too! Hoth cracks me up. What a great tourist attraction!

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  73. Thanks. I picked it up this last trip to Disney. The new Star Tours ride goes to different places now. Even people that worked at Disney complemented me on it.

    I like yours too Claire.

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  74. Sorry, I was out all day yesterday. Yes Zyra, I am the "my mom wrote this" writer. Thank you for your nice comments. I never ever ever published anything before. I was pretty upset with my kid's lack of focus on her studies and thought to myself (after discussing the situation with hubby) what would Princess Leia do? I needed to find a way to get my kid's attention. It worked. Now we have a common interest that opens the door to so many conversations. I also had to come clean and tell her that I have been following this blog. I don't know if she thinks I'm cool or gross. She's like ewwww mom, you commented on the Han Sex Stud post. Yeah, she'll need therapy.

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  75. Wow, seams! That is really cool. I may need to ask that myself - what would Leia do? My daughter is not quite a listener. Drives me batty, she's not even a teen and knows it all. And no worries, I think kids get over the ewww factor without too much damage. =)

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  76. Haha on her knowing you follow and comment and that she will need therapy :) I'm sure I'd have been horrified if my mom was commenting on something like that, but that's just the way it goes, right? We'll try to keep the racy content to a minimum, but, well, can't make any promises!

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  78. Sorry, I messed up the earlier comment. No need to change any racy content. It's my favorite part (Hubby's too). We are going for the need for life-long therapy sessions for the kid. Mom and dad are having fun. Hubby has started reading fanfic.

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  79. Oh I agree, don't cut back on the racy content. I'm sure everyone here would be with me on that. We love it girls! Yeah, send the kids to therapy but don't hold back on the smut! :)

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  80. Oh I so loved that post! :D

    "Until then, I eye boring, normal, everyday life with distain. Grocery shop? Pay bills? Dare I say it…homework? Or even worse…real work? Ha! When there’s a new chapter of fanfic up to read?"
    ^That so made me laugh! :D It's so true!!!!

    "I know, I know, I should at least be happy that he only wants to see the OT and doesn’t even acknowledge the prequels."
    ^Yes, you damn well should! :D

    My family and friends probably think I'm grazy. I spent ALL of this Christmas browsing the pictures in a Facebook group "Retro Star Wars" and sharing and downloading them! :D I spent the Christmas with my parents but I wasn't really mentally around. xD Today she asked me "Isn't that going too far, is it?"

    I'm also a little embarrased/worried if someone checked my Star Wars folder and noticed it mostly consists of Leia/Carrie or Leia/Carrie with others... So sometimes I download some other pics there, too, although I don't really care for them... I think people would think I'm a lesbian. xD Which is what I'm not sure about myself either because I haven't had time or chance to find out and that's all Star Wars' fault! :D Well, maybe I'll tell them that Leia/Carrie is the most photogenic person in OT and I hate PT. ;)

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